Feminism?

but do you feel bad for the guys who want to be home with their kids and have to work?

You never seem to make statements that apply to people of both sexes, just women, thats where a lot of problems men have with feminists come from.

 

Sure, but they are few and far between. In the several hundred families that I know, and the sevearl thousand I have worked with as a professional, I know less than half a dozen where dad is SAH, and wants to be there. I know ONE (exactly ONE family) where the parents work equal hours and split childcare equally. The mom, however, in addition to working more than 40 hours a week, is still pumping about 30 oz a breastmilk a day for her dh to feed when she is away. I know FEW SAHD. Of course, you have to add the fact that men DO NOT gestate or lactate into the equation, and that is quite an advantage to childrearing.

Sure I do, Meg, you are too smart to be swallowing the shit jiimaan is trying to spoon feed you.

 

I am basically a SAHM, I run a small business, and I RAISE my own kids. I feel fortunate to be able to do this, as some womyn just don't have the choice. Unfotunatly, Old School Feminism promised us some things it didn't deliver. One was that if we went to work and stuck out kids in day care, those kids would be better off, and that things would even out finacially and relationshipwise. Nothing could be farther from the truth. In many cases Old School Feminist has given some men a good excuse to NOT support their womyn and children. Gives some the "permission" to lie around and drink, while mama goes out and "brings home the bacon."

Equality doesn't mean everyone has the same role all the time. I think when children are little, it helps to have a good partner to take care of the finacial income, so that child rearing doesn't become a part time thing. It will even out, but kids require a partnership, ideally. Not everyone is fortunate to have this work out, but I do think it is ideal. I feel for the mamas who want to stay home and are not able to finacially.


It is statements like that which bother me. Now, i know this is a woman's forum, but i hear these same exact statements all the time.

Its nothing against you personally, its against everyone who fights for one specific class of people. I dont understand why people dont talk of terms that include everyone. Men and women, black and white, etc

I feel bad for anyone who wants to stay home with their kid but cant because of financial reasons.

This brings up an interesting question though, in a relationship, whose responsibility is it to bring home the "bacon?" The fathers? If so, arent we continuing the patriachal traditions of hte past 4000 years? I dont think many feminists would agree its the females job to bring home the money while the male cares for the kid. Is it both their responsibility?

 

Well, womyn gestate and lactate. That does make them more suited (many times, but not all) for child rearing. Men are not able to do these things. Also, men make, on the average, in the same job, with the same education, $1.00 for every .70 or so a womyn is able to make. Last year my dh brought in more than 10 times more than me. Would it make sense for HIM to stay home, when he doesn't WANT to, and we would be living on more than 90% less?

 

As for your other point, this IS the "WOMAN'S FORUM!" It makes sense that we are talking womyn's issues here.

When I talk politics, in the Politics Forum, I speak for including all. Also the work of Equality is NOT finished, someone has to speak up for it, we CANNOT pretend it is all equal, any more than we can pretend that there is total Racial Equality. If this were the "People of Color" forum, you would see LOTS of people speaking for their own People, as it should be. When thing are all equal,, then we can talk all equal all the time, but not until that time.

 

the problem is, issues that involve women also have consequences for men.


Now for a serious question, besides the pay gap, what big inequalities do you see for women?

 

of course not. Your situation would make no senes for the guy to stay home. No one is talking about situations to force someone to stay home.

The question is, is it anymore right to tell a man he has to work to support the kid than it is to tell a woman she has to work to support the kid? Once there is no need for breastfeeding, there really isnt a great big argument for women staying home and not men. Of course, i'd hope that all these different situations would be talked about before two people got married/had a kid, but that would be ideal, and we all know the world isnt ideal.

 

Yes, and issues which involve people of color also have "consequences" for the dominant white people. Issues which involved the differently abled have "consequences" for those who are thouroughly abled. Issues for children have "consequences" not only for adults, but for adult who are childless. Issues of the Elderly have "consequences" for the young. Issues of the poor have "consequences" for the middlle class and the rich.

For years, decades, centuries, the needs of womyn, people of color, the handicapped, children, the elderly ect were ignored because listening to those needs would have "consequences" for the Status Quo. Civil Rights dictate that these issues be addressed anyway.

As for you other question, that is what this entire forum is about.

 

If moms wanted to be the main bread wiinners, if the could be, it would happen more often. I know a LOT of married couples with kids. Most of my freinds are paired couples with kids. Few to none have the dads stay home. I have no problem with it, if that is what is best for the child. But few couples want this. If they want it, and it is workble, more power to them.

 

Yes, exactly why i brought up the point about consequences. Since they affect more than just one class of people, both sides must be apart of the process.


As for my question on inequality, i scanned the past 3 or so pages on this forum, and didnt see any thread that was talking about inequality of women, so i thought a feminism topic would be a good place to ask the question.