Feminism?

You know, you can't just watch one of Lifetime's made for TV movies and decided that that represents common feminist values.

Feminism is not at all about hating men. Sure, some feminist probably do hate men, but that's not because they're feminists. People connect feminism with man hating, but really isn't part of it at all. All being a feminist means is that you believe in economic, political and social equality between both genders.

People think that there's a difference between being for equal rights and being a feminist, but being for equal rights is being feminist by the very definition. Hating men is not.

 

I'm am feminist, but more the kind that has motherly feelings toward men. I am always scared that I might hurt their sense of masculinity in some way, men are so delicate.

 

Some women just take it too far. These are the women I personally like to label as "femi-nazis" because frankly, they're insane, power-mad, and scary. Feminism, to me, is not about hating men and tromping on everyone, but that's what it seems to be about to a lot of women. Unfortunately, these types of women have given "feminism" a bad name. This is why I am loathe to identify as a feminist, because it's getting to be far too much work to defend myself. I believe that women are just as valuable of human beings as men. I don't go around bashing men, and writing letters to my local MP to get them to call them "personhole covers" instead of "manhole covers." *rolls eyes* I'm sorry, but there has GOT to be something more important to fight against out there. I'm 100% for equality for women, but I refuse to join the ranks of some of these other women.

May I add something else? I totally think that violence against women is a horrible crime, and needs to be dealt with severely. But frankly, I feel that violence against ANYONE is a horrible crime to be dealt with severely. While feminists have been doing a wonderful job of campaigning to have assaulted women's issues brought to light, I have to wonder... how many of these women have ever struck a man? Have they ever slapped a boyfriend? A husband? Should they not get the same treatment then that they ask for men who hit women?? Double standards make me angry. Sometimes I think feminists (the crazy ones) forget that other people exist, too. Feel free to argue with me as much as you want though...

 

Thank you, that is one of my biggest pet peeves. I hate when feminists or black leaders or whoever fight for just themselves. Shouldnt we work to correct the injustices of EVERYONE instead of just our own interest group?

 

so any man you date could see you as not responsible enough for an adult relationship, as you make less than him?

 

LOL! I agree.

One of my pet peeves. Young womyn (or older ones) who don't want to be called a "feminist" but agree with all the tenents of feminism, and have no problem taking advantage of all the equalities feminism has brought them. "Just don't call me one....."

I would like to see all those who have a fear of being called a feminist having to live in times where they couldn't work or go to school if they were pregnant, a time when they couldn't own land or vote, a time when would lose their job when they got married, a time where they could be beaten and raped by a husband or live in lover, and nothing could be done, a time where they couldn't get birth control in any form ect.

 

I think people often take the concept of feminism the wrong way, at times...

 

Yes. Orsino, you are right. Because of the fallicious beleif that all "Feminists" are hairy, man hating, lesbians. (eye roll)

Just wanting things to be fair isn't a radical idea.

 

rofl Maggie Sugar, you said that so nicely. But before the lesbians get angry, I don't think (all) lesbians hate men, and I'm sure some shave... just like some straight chicks don't. but Maggie makes a good point, guys seem to associate "feminist" with "lesbian." Now, I have no problems at all with people's sexuality, but I don't want to be labelled as something I'm not.

 

I think it comes down to the fact that it is too much to expect for men and women to be equal-in the same ways. feminism has taken away males idenity and their role in society and in turn emasculates them and has increased domestic violence rates, leads to non-intact family units or kids in daycare all the time and has objectified women. Men and women already are equal just in different ways. As long as someone respects my opinion and treats me with dignity I have no problems at all letting them be the dominant one in the relationship.
women should realize that there true power lies in respecting themselves and being a decent human being to who they are with and picking people who treat them correctley instead of fighting to be dominant all the time.
Oh and as far as work goes there are laws to protect you if you are discriminated against and they tend to be sure fire cases so lawyers will do it probono in most cases.

 

Men and women are different. We have different natural, instinctual roles.

However, that doesn't mean that one gender should be treated unfairly in society compared to another.

I agree with lynsey when she points out that families are suffering because of both parents in the household working. But many parents don't do it because they want to. Many have to.

 

a lot of them just do it because they want things as opposed to need things. I have a lot of respect for my mom because she let my grandparents financially support us untill I was in first grade and than instead of daycare she arranged it so I had some sort of practrice or class on the days my grandma couldn't pick me up . We never went without basic things and I was never told no when I asked for something but we didn't have all the things that people here value as if they are neccisities and now that she has done very well for her self I think i appreciatte what I am provided with so much more than if I had it my whole life. Yeah there are sacrifices people have to make so a parent can stay home but those sacrifices are just material things. A kid isn't going to remember the really cool furniture or mega pixel tv they are however going to remember that someone cared enough to sacrifice their goals and their WANTS to be a good parent.

 

Along the lines of what you were saying:

I have 2 girlfriends my age both married, that both have children around 1-2 yrs old. One girlfriend of mine has been sending her baby to daycare since she was 2 weeks old (something I was not happy about). The baby is whiney, and unhappy and crying a lot.

The other has always had a family member to watch it, either the father, herself, or her mother. Her baby is cheery, happy, and always laughing. The only time I have seen that baby cry is when it bumps it's head or something like that.

I think it is obvious that a child will be much, much happier and mentally healthy if it is able to be with family. I don't think a person should have children until they can sufficiently provide for it, and that means more than having enough money. It means being a parent. Kids shouldn't be raised by daycares and babysitters.

And of course, life isn't pefect and things happen, but I see too many mothers pulling up to their child's daycare in mercedes....

 

wow, i am in complete agreement with you on something. *waits for the twilight zone music*

 

exactly perfectly put. I was such a happy kids and had to go to daycare for a few years and hated it and am glad that my mom avoided it when I was really young. I work in a place that isn't really a daycare but kinda is and when I get the chance to be with the kids as opposed to doing bullshit paperwork I notice that the ones who are in there a lot have very poor temperment. They are either spoiled because their parents feel guilty or they are attention deprived. I would never ever put my kids in daycare.

 

Of course not. I was saying this tongue in cheek, as that is how some view feminists. I have a lot of lesbian freinds, NONE of them hate men. (Although most don't shave. Why should they? LOL!)

 

lol

I think parents being more responsible, and actually raising their children is a good step in improving our society.

 

I agree with all but I don't think poor people shouldn't have children, just because they may have to work.I think there should be some form of Public Aid which would allow poor and single womyn to raise their own kids, and if the Right really care about family values they would support this idea. Although one or twothink I am some weird amalgam of stereotypical hairy feminist man hater, this is far from the truth. (Anyone who frequents the Parenting forum knows how committed I am to my dh and my children.) One of my beefs with Old School 70s style feminism is the almost complete denial of Maternal Instinct and the leaving of children out of the equation.

I am basically a SAHM, I run a small business, and I RAISE my own kids. I feel fortunate to be able to do this, as some womyn just don't have the choice. Unfotunatly, Old School Feminism promised us some things it didn't deliver. One was that if we went to work and stuck out kids in day care, those kids would be better off, and that things would even out finacially and relationshipwise. Nothing could be farther from the truth. In many cases Old School Feminist has given some men a good excuse to NOT support their womyn and children. Gives some the "permission" to lie around and drink, while mama goes out and "brings home the bacon."

Equality doesn't mean everyone has the same role all the time. I think when children are little, it helps to have a good partner to take care of the finacial income, so that child rearing doesn't become a part time thing. It will even out, but kids require a partnership, ideally. Not everyone is fortunate to have this work out, but I do think it is ideal. I feel for the mamas who want to stay home and are not able to finacially.

 

what about the fathers?

 

I already said, it is ideal for children to be raised by partners. Most of the time, that includes fathers. I think children do better with fathers, or father figues, as long as he isn't a drunk, or a pedophile or hates kids. MOST dads do not fall into these catagories. Most men are good men who want to take care of their womyn and children, and it has been that way for millenia.

If I am gone all day, (rarely happens) I miss my children in a viceral way. My dh, who is a great dad, and adores his kids, can go all day, and not miss them terribly. He has no problem PROVIDING for his family, while I take care of the diapers, and the breastfeeding and the wiping poopy butts and the tantrums and the carpools ect.

I wouldn't WANT to be gone all day, my dh woudn't WANT to be home with the kids all day. He does create "Uncle Booger's Day Care Center" when my sister and I go out on occasion for the day, (like twice a year) but for the most part we are happy with our roles at the moment. He can make a TON more money than me, being away from the kids for 9-12 hours doesn't kill him (it would me) I can tolerate booger noses and whining and the same question asked 3,000 times, have the patiences to teach children things a hell of a lot more than he can. It works out. It isn't JUST our personalities either.