Seems I have something that is so hard if not impossible to find that other's might have. Sexual shame. At around age 18 something came over me in about 3 days time and I was totally consummed by it. I really still am....45 years later. It's nothing i "did" (unless you call the normal sexual things something). I'm paranoid because of association by guilt. Paranoid where i put my hands in relation to my own body.....connotations (other objects i touch). It's like i'm outside of myself and have always felt that way. Like an open book. Frustration of course and alot of depression goes with it. Would like to just communicate with anyone who has anything similar. Pat