Feeling sexually insecure - (weight issue)

I'm a little overweight, nothing major. I weigh 70 kilos and I swear it's ALL fat. I'm weak as hell.

I've struggled with how I feel about my weight for a long time, and last year I came to terms with it completely. I don't care enough about weighing that much to want to change. It was helped by my current partner. He loves my "chipmunk cheeks" and "rubenesque figure" as he calls them, he's made that very clear.

The problem I'm having at the moment is sex. He lasts a good hour, he literally can't finish any earlier, and he's not one to take the wheel the whole time. (He's not much fitter than I am. )

I'm used to guys with more physical stamina and less sexual stamina. This is weird for me, I'm feeling pressure now to get fitter because honestly having sex is just a serious drain. I've always fought back against having this pressure put on, I'll usually take it out on the last person to try to "motivate" me. But what am I supposed to do now? Get angry at sex? And I can't just NOT sleep with him. I've never been that into sex, but I see it as necessary for the intimacy of a relationship. This is making me really annoyed at the whole thing.

I'm starting to wonder now if this isn't part of the reason that I've never really been into it, because I just can't be bothered. I'll be the first to admit that I'm pretty lazy. Seeing the things I've seen on this site, I'm sure it's a long shot that I'll find anyone who's experienced this haha, but it's worth asking.

 

Sorry, I don't understand the problem. He lasts an hour -- and the problem is ... what?

 

She gets tired because she is lazy and physically inactive, I guess.

 

It seems the lack of stamina is the issue, not the weight.

 

Shoot, shoulda titled it "fitness issue" hah. Well an hour is supposed to be a good thing. I get told all the time that I'm broken for not enjoying it, it's just a little too tiresome for me. And apparently my partner also.

I was mainly wondering if I'm the only one who has this issue. I guess I'm in the wrong place.

 

It doesn't bother you that you are 'weak as hell'?

 

If you enjoy the sex itself then work it for that hour or eventually push it to two hours and get into it, that'll put you in shape soon enough.
I am not in the same shape I was a few years ago but I don't have a problem with sex, my problem would be if it was quickies all the time. For me it's the time and actions we go through that make it a wonderful thing.

 

Eh. You get used to it. My housemate sometimes picks on me but he's never once asked me to help carry something. x)

Sexercise! Feels the same as any other type of exercise, I understand the benefits.. but..... it's work.........

I'll probably end up doing just that though!

 

It bothered me when I was weakened by a health issue. I was under threat to be in a wheelchair by now, didn't happen. I enjoy sex, can do what I want and need to do and it took lots of rearranging my life to avoid being put down to a level I didn't want to see my young years spent in.
You should do something while you can because quality of life can turn really badly and you might not know your future, like possibly who you'd be with, how will your partner respond to bad changes, what kind of income then you'd be faced to except for a lot of years while unable to change it anymore, is your mortgage paid off. A lot of what if's there if you aren't already 80 with cash and some kind of security behind you.
I know some people who live alone on very little and they suffer loneliness because they can't get out or spend like their neighbor and enjoy life as it should be.
Struggling life because we didn't do anything before is like a major kick in the butt.
My parents worked hard so they could sit back now and enjoy what they have and they have a comfortable life and are still able to do many things I do. Don't know about sex tho, I never ask but they have been caught smooching recently.
If exercise sucks go for a walk a day or even three days a week.

 

I'm confused. Are you having sex for an hour? Or do you mean foreplay is included?
DH on occasion can go for an hour actually having sex (him inside of me) but then I get sore. Usually it's lots of foreplay (or a little depending on the mood) and the we have sex. Actual sex doesn't take long. But I don't really time it. I'm sure he doesn't go for an hour each time!

If he can't get off with sex, you might want to stop and try something else. Your hands or oral if you're into that. And if you still can't get him to finish, have him masturbate. It's fun to watch

I know if DH drinks, it takes MUCH longer for him to finish. And if he masturbated recently, it takes longer for him to finish as well. Perhaps he needs a longer time between release to have the need build up again?

 

Larger issue here...if you're not that into sex and only doing it for the sake of the relationship, a partner who always goes an hour might not be the best fit. Eventually you're going to resent expending much energy on something you're not really enjoying.

 

Do you or your partner take a short break to catch your breathe?

I'm overweight, however, I have a high sex drive. My last partner and I were very active together. Mostly, he was on top. He is much more fit than I am! He always wanted to be on top though. We would sometimes go at it for hours. Of course, not right after another. He would take breaks between each session and also he would take short breaks to kiss me or some sucking/hickeys, but he wouldn't pull out.