Feel like the only person in the world who hates cities

Not a random thought, just didn't know where else to post this.

I just wanted to discuss cities and why I hate them and see if anyone understands or shares my point of view.

I'm trying my hardest to sort this out in my mind because it honestly makes my life hell. You see, I grew up on 225 acres of land way out in the country, and I still live there. For the past year I've been working at a hotel in my state's capital city as a valet guy. It's a growing and popular city that is attracting tons of tourism and new residents.

I suppose it's just because I was raised sheltered in a rural setting and my neurophysiology just developed around that, but I just have this deep and burning hatred for the city, it's inhabitants, and everything about it. It seems to be a confluence of many things that lead to my hatred of it, but mostly it's just the mentality, the lifestyle, and the people that I just can't stand. Everyone seems to be the same cardboard cutout of the same generic person, with the same personality, the same likes, the same clothing, and the same everything. Everyone seems very collectivist in their thinking, and there seems to be no individuality that I can tell. I just can't for the life of me see why people like that way of living, and frown upon the peace and solitude of living in more remote areas.

People in the city only seem to think about going out to clubs and bars, going to coffee shops, restaurants, and all that stuff. They think that these things are the definition of fun and enjoyment, and that there are no other modes of enjoyment to be had. It's just a bunch of hollow, meaningless, fluff to me. I'd literally rather do just about anything else than partake in that kind of stuff. Every time someone asks me where I live, and I tell them I live out in the country, they either have no clue what I'm talking about, or they'll reply with this super smug "so.....like....what do you do out there?" I just want to chew their faces off when they ask this. It's such an insulting question. When I go to the city, there is literally nothing for me to do there. They can have all the neon lights, bars, clubs, and shops they want, but none of it appeals to me. It's kind of like the Bob Seger song "Old Time Rock and Roll," where he says something to the effect of "don't try to take me out because I'll just be leaving in ten minutes and I'll go home and listen to music by myself". That's pretty much my attitude towards it.

The problem is that as bad as I hate cities, I wish it weren't so. I truly wish I could get into them like everyone else seems to be. I just can't. I pay a very heavy price for this mental turmoil I'm always going through about it. It makes life unlivable, because on the other hand there is this natural desire to make friends and to not be alone. Everything about the city is the opposite of what I like and value in life. I love peace and quiet, I don't like situations that are exciting or ones that put me on the spot to think or behave a certain way, and I don't really like people all that much.

I also just find that cities are places where no one owns anything. They rent and share everything. I feel like nothing is mine. It's being shared with everyone else. This is a nightmare for me. When I'm at home on my 225 acres, I feel like it's MINE. I can retreat there and just be myself, do things the way I damn well please, and no one else can honk their horn at me or flip me the bird and tell me otherwise.

I'm probably babbling at this point. Sorry for the long post. I'd really love to hear responses on this, even if it's just to tell me that I'm a fucked up redneck. But if there are other people who get what I'm trying to convey here, it would be nice to know I'm not alone.

 

I know what you're feeling, this was me once upon a time. I wanted to be in the city but the city didn't want me. Everything and everyone caused me anxiety, the city was telling me to go home. So home I went, found a country girl to share my life with and have been happy ever since. We live simply along with nature instead of the noise and ornery people of the city.
I have a cousin that has lived in Toronto for all of his 57 years. He has never left the city except to fly to another city. The only thing he has worked for is a roof over his head. He owns nothing, has no money apparently from living high in the city. Him and his wife and family have never seen a sunset other than the city version. They won't come to the prairies to visit because "there is nothing to do here". They don't now how we can live like we do and we don't know how they can live like they do. They have to live by every stupid rule there is from the time they get up until they go to bed. A city needs to be set up that way to keep the flow moving. we do what we want here. They are strong liberals, for obvious reasons and they think we should have to live like we do. When I say to him he should live like us he gets offended.
Give us the country, and they can have the city.

I have a feeling the city is telling you to go home too.

Good luck, whichever way you choose.

 

Thanks for contributing your thoughts farmnaked. I share pretty much all of them.

Every guy I work with is always getting geared up to go out to bars and hook up with girls etc. Everyone seems to like that kind of stuff but me. I like simple, quiet things. I also don't really like the type of girls they're going after. The typical city girl is very self-important, materialistic, and shallow. They go for essentially the male equivalent - guys who are vain, muscle men. Total d-bags. Sure those girls are always visually stunning, but their personalities offset whatever physical beauty they may have. They idolize and prioritize very shallow, meaningless things like nightlife, partying, shopping, etc... It's all just a bunch of nonsensical fluff to me. I wish I could enjoy it. It would certainly make life easier. But unfortunately I just can't bring myself to.

 

Cities are fun to visit, even stay for a week on vacation, but I wouldn’t want to live in one. It’s okay to like what you like, OP.

 

Yup, once again you have described my experiences perfectly. I don't think it's worth the headaches myself. You have a lot more control over your life outside of the city.
The lights in the country at night are the stars, the sounds are frogs and crickets doing their thing. And country girls are the finest of the finest.

 

It is alright to like what you like, but your gut tells you what and where you really are.

 

You sound like you haven't spent that much time there. I haven't either, to tell you the truth. I lived near downtown Denver for about 5 months one time. That was so stupid. hahaha
I spent a lot of money and did stupid shit, but it wasn't all bad. Some of the coolest people I ever met were from there.

You should totally spend some time in LA. You might find that it's not as bad as you thought.

 

Seems like nobody else thinks that. They look at me like I'm less than human for saying I don't like cities and all the things in them. I don't even like to visit cities. Nothing about them appeals to me. I'd rather be out on a lake fishing, or flying the plane, or just anywhere that is quiet and doesn't have many people.

I actually got invited to my coworker's party. He sent out the invitation last week on Facebook, and I was going to try to act like I never saw it. But he asked me at work if I was going. I sooper dooper don't want to go. I'd rather be at home watching a movie and just drinking beer alone.

What am I, an introvert? I feel like that word is used so much, often to describe people who aren't even introverts, that it has lost its meaning. I feel like there must be a stronger word for what I am. I don't like people EVER. I don't even like them sometimes. I don't like them EVER. I do have some friends, but I can only handle their company in very small doses, and only one at a time.

 

20 Celebrities Who Shunned Hollywood for Small Town Life

 

There’s no law saying you have to be social but many people are social so they assume everyone likes to be, as well.

I like parties and social stuff but like tonight? I just want to stay in, eat pizza, watch Hulu lol

Wouldn’t it be great if you could be totally honest and not judged and tell your coworker “I just don’t feel like going?”

Life would be easier if people didn’t get offended so easily.

 

I never seem to find them. That's the only big drawback of the country. I know everyone in my town. There are no women to date. They're all either family or no good. I can't seem to strike that balance. I wish I could find someone who is simple and not concerned with city life like me, but it's like looking for a needle in the universe.

You just have a different mindset than me. As a millenial, I find that I'm one of the only people like me left.

 

I think, being from the burbs I was initially a little worried about being in the big city. Denver was big. After that I lived in LA too. It was not that big a deal, but I definitely got the sense I was out of my element. Now I live in a small residential area that isn't too far from major freeways and stuff.

I can't really count myself a millennial. I am 38, so I'm probably a little older than you. That's ok. You're still entitled to your opinion. But don't be a stranger! Come visit LA!

 

I see the cities as places where you lose control of your own life. You end up being subject to the whims of the masses. You don't own anything, nothing is yours. People align themselves with movements and groupthink mentalities, and it becomes so normalized that they learn to prefer it to the alternative. Out in the middle of nowhere, sure there's no bars, clubs, or malls, but you are in control of your life. You can live it as you see fit.

Not to get too political, but I've discovered that I'm a full-blown libertarian politically. I think the reason most city people are highly liberal is because they have never learned the value of the government being out of their lives. They are so used to depending on the government in their daily lives. If not for public transportation, and the subsidies that allow them to stay in the cities, they wouldn't be able to survive. They couldn't have a roof over their heads, or get to work, etc...They don't understand the necessity and value of being free - free to own property, to have your own autonomy and liberty from the government's control. You can't really understand that until you've experienced what it's like to live freely on your own property, and to be free from the whims of everyone else.

 

Can't do it.

 

Ok, well if you change your mind. It'll still be there.

 

Cities actually appeal to my introverted nature, oddly enough. I like the feeling of being alone in a crowd. I like how no one feeels obligated to chitchat or make contact with every person they see in a city . And I like being able to wander without getting into a car. Plus I admire the efficiency of cities but that's more in comparison with the suburbs. Cities beat suburban sprawl any day

But I grew up in the country. it was taken by suburban sprawl by the time I was 12 or 13, my mom still lives in the same spot but it isnt the same at all anymore. And I never really got back to the country to live after that but I do feel very at peace in the country. A friend of mine bought a house in the middle of nowhere and it does my soul so much good when I visit . One day after property values finish their upward trajectory here I'll sell my home and buy some land and live a quieter life.

You're not alone, its just easier to meet people who prefer urban life because they gravitate together in urban areas whereas country people hide away in their vast acreage

 

Living in a city is a far cry from living in the parts of the city that you see as a visitor.
Immediately away from the center, their is the transient area, where where everyone lives in apartments, flats and rooms. No one knows or cares who you are or what you do. Far from being bustling and friendly, it is lonely and in my opinion like hell on earth.
Moving out to the suburbs is a totally different story. People know and look out for each other, shopkeepers address you by name and their is a relaxed and friendly atmosphere.
We live 12 minutes from by train from the heart of London, but in many ways it is like living in a village. Delivery drivers, postmen and even police are all familiar friendly faces.
It sounds to me as if your job has taken you into that middle area and I can completely understand why you hate it. Believe me, I would as well.
Jane is from a remote area in the west of Ireland and when we first met, she wanted us to move there. Now, 38 years later, she has no desires to return. We have the best of both worlds. A quiet rural home and shops and city life only a short drive away.

I am sure that our home town is a far cry from your mental image of London.

 

I've had the privilege of living in two of America's greatest cities. And while both are incredibly awesome, they couldn't be more different.

Anyway, that's part of why the OP annoys me. All city people are the same? Cardboard cutouts? I spent time in the country and while it has its appeal, homogenization isn't one of them. American cities are the true melting pot. I love the different sites, sounds, foods, cultures, and peoples. I will never run out of new things to do.

Truthfully, I find the OPs attitude insulting. If you don't like the city--cool! You don't have to. But to shit all over those of us who do is Petty in my opinion.

 

Greatest city in the world that isn't Boston.

But seriously, my love of Boston is based on nostalgia and familiarity. These days, I'm too LA to fit in back there ever again

 

Blah blah blah blah blah...........and so on and so on