Feel like breaking down, I'm a genetic trainwreck

Just can't take this anymore. My entire life has been living hell because of my horrific genes in every aspect of life. My genetic defects:

-Vicious male pattern baldness at 17 years old that doesn't slow even with dutasteride, RU58841, topical spiro, and Niz
-Extreme deficiency in muscle mass, I weigh 125 lbs at 6'2
-Mild albinism (hair has slight blonde tint, eyes are blue, skin is sheet white)
-Severe asthma for which I need multiple high-dose steroids and aerosol treatments every few hours to even breathe
-Large predisposition to multiple types of cancer, and seeing as my body is covered in moles it won't be long...
-No sex drive whatsoever, even with high-dose androgen treatment (which of course aggravates MPB even more)
-Pectus excavatum (a dented chest)
-No body or facial hair
-Extremely frail bone structure, 5.8 inch wrists in diameter, spine is at risk for fracture because of osteoporosis
-Scoliosis (a bent spine)
-Predisposition to early skin aging (I'm 18 and already have prominent forehead, eye and mouth wrinkles)
-Half my teeth didn't even grow in, the ones that did grew in razor sharp so that they had to be shaved down, now they are just nubs
-Aggressive myopia (bad eyesight), already at the highest contact perscription
-Chronic lethargy, require over 11 hours of sleep per day to even function, then again this may just be because of my depression with life
-High pitched, squeaky female voice (cartilage never really grew during my "puberty", confirmed by docs)
-Small hands and feet, which girls love to comment on
-Erectile disfunction even when stimulated
-Very wide set eyes, which gives me a "frog face" appearance
-An extremely high/wide forehead
-My skull is in the shape of a cone
-My facial skeleton never "masculinized", and as such I have a female face (no brow bone protrusion, extremely small jaw [triangle shaped face], feminine sloped nose)
-Genetic predisposition to ALS (Lou Gherig's disease), which could probably kill me at any time
-Unibrow
-Long, pencil neck caused by unnaturally long vertebrae
-Lungs operate at 40% capacity, lower than most people with Cystic Fibrosis
-ADD, can't focus on anything for extended periods
-Crippling allergies for which I'll have to receive shots every week for the remainder of my pathetic life
-Genetic predisposition to early cartilage degeneration, I can already feel my knees popping at 18
-High cholesterol no matter what I eat
-Chronic acne
-Genetic predisposition to Alzheimer's (family history)

I'm only 18 years old. 18 years old, and my life is over. I break down and cry frequently. I just don't know what to do; people commit suicide over far less than this. I look up to sky and ask why does the universe hate me so much, why was I the one to have every horrific event happen to them, why was I chosen to be the whipping boy of life.

I look in the mirror and despise what I see. I hate my father more than anyone on this Earth, a weak beta-male who carried all these genetic deficiencies and passed this horrible genetic legacy on to me. I hate my mother, who chose to leave her genetically-blessed alpha-male college boyfriend, a muscular good-looking man with a full head of hair, to (for some God-forsaken reason I will never understand) marry my pathetic father and allow him to impregnate her, dooming me from the day I was born.

I hate everything. I hate people who are happy, I hate people who are genetically blessed, and above all I hate people who complain about things like their girlfriend breaking up with them, or failing a test, or getting cut from a sports team. I never had a chance to even have a girlfriend; they look at me in disgust, this odd, pale, mutant freak connected to a breathing machine. I never had a chance to play sports, as even the worst athletes could simply knock my frail body to the ground. I'm only 18 years old, and I have never been happy.

Psychologists do nothing, because you can't fix a mental problem if it's a physical one. My doctors are utterly worthless, simply stating "lift weights" to gain muscle. I DONT WANT TO HAVE TO LIFT WEIGHTS TO LOOK ****ING NORMAL. Lifting weights is for people who are NORMAL and want to become BETTER THAN NORMAL. I have NOTHING, no base to start with. I am very cynical and judge very quickly, for I know people judge me the instant they see me. I pay no attention to fashion, for the man makes the clothes, and I am certainly no man.

I will never have children, there is simply no way I will pass this curse on. It dies with me. There are born losers and born winners on this earth, and it is determined the moment that sperm hits the egg. Over the next 6 months, I will fly to various illegal stem-cell clinics across the Earth so I can slowly eradicate this horrific body of mine with high dose chemotherapy, which I will then replace and regenerate with cells of a more superior genetic specimen. If I fail, I will end it with an IV of high-dose barbituate.

I am sorry for this rant, and thank you if you have read it all, for I shed many tears while typing this. I am just a broken being, no hope, no future. I look forward to only my hair continuing to shed, my mind slowly degrading as Alzheimer's claims me, my body's nerves breaking down to ALS, that is, if the cancer I'm predisposed to doesn't take me first. And finally, death will take me, on a hospital bed somewhere alone, no friends or family around, for I have none, as who would wish to be friends with a inferior male. And so will end the life of Tom155, the biggest genetic disaster the world has never known.

 

I am sure we all felt like this at some point. You will grow over it and accept yourself and possibly even see that appareance is not the only thing that decides who someone is.

 

vote for Pedro

 

you sure you're 18?..your other account says 29

 

dont ever,ever put yourself down like that, try to be positive,love yourself for who you are

 

tldr

 

that syncs well with whats on in another tab lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XN3q9p5K0E4"]Manu Dibango "Soul Makossa" (1972) - YouTube

 

hahaha it does

 

Go see an orthodontist, get some roids, and go for a Vin Diesel Look.

Or complain about it. There's more to life than being handsome and suave. I mean, I'd assume. :biggrin:

 

I swear I've read the op rant before..

is this satire that you wrote that depicts and mocks 'superficial society' as a whole?

*snaps fingers*
:beatnik:

 

sorry to hear that you have had such a hard time.

You may want to visit a site like www.suidiceforum.com to talk about these things.

you might want to check out acupuncture and chinese medicine, which might be helpful to you. my amateur opinion is that from the chinese medicine perspective, you've got deficient yang, or some combination of deficiencies. maybe at least partially treatable.

it sounds like you have suffered quite a bit. lots of people in the world suffer.

While the suffering of one person might in principle be many times greater than that of another person, the sum total of suffering in the world is far greater than that of any individual.

You might find purpose in life by helping others.

You may be able to find a way to be happy in life, or at least to find life worthwhile. You are by no means the only person in the history of the world to find themselves in a similar position. Some of those people found meaning, purpose, indeed, happiness in life, others did not. You may have been dealt a rough set of cards, but probably no worse than, say, Hellen Keller, or someone with no arms or legs, born into extreme poverty, slavery, in a war zone, extremely abusive family, etc.

I don't believe in trying to talk anyone out of suicide, but rather suggest that there is probably a way for you to find life worthwhile.

From the eastern esoteric perspective, your experience could be a springboard for your attainment of enlightenment

in any case, I wish you comfort and to follow whatever is the best path

 

The OP posted this same thing in another forum back in December.

http://www.hairlosstalk.com/interac...l-like-breaking-down-I-m-a-genetic-trainwreck

I gotta say, though, if this is for real, it doesn't make me feel any better about myself. It only makes me realize what a sad fucking world this is and how there is so much pain and suffering out there which we don't even realize exists sometimes because we're too consumed with our own bullshit.

I always try to think to myself when I feel I have it especially bad, that it could always be worse and that perhaps I should count my blessings.

 

Yeah, you're healthy and capable, you make up your own problems.

 

This completely made my morning.

 

lol..
going back to page 1 to watch it

 

have to say, it's better to watch & listen to while stoned in the night time..

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVOwag2LWUg"]Life Just Sucks - Yesterday Never Came - YouTube

 

Well if it’s any comfort Stephen Hawking’s sat on the Lucasian chair of Mathematics from 1979 until only just recently :2thumbsup:

Hotwater