Fed up

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by marquis_de_odde, Aug 18, 2005.

  1. marquis_de_odde

    marquis_de_odde Member

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    This problem has plagued me my entire life and I'm about ready to give up on men all together. For some reason I rarely find a guy who I am compatible with and have romantic feelings for. Every time I do come across one they come on strong and then anywhere from a week to three months later the flake on me. Each and every one uses the old "but trust me it's not you" statement and insists we should still be friends or just ignores me after that. I don't think I'm a horrible person,I have loads of friends because I get on with everyone quite easily but no one seems to want anything more from me.None of my mates can understand my problem because they either have loads of relationships or choose to push men out of their lives for fear of intimacy. I know I'm only 22 but I don't think I'm meant to be with anyone. Does anyone else out there feel like this? It's killing me and has completely devoured my self-esteem,what can I do to get over the feeling of needing a relationship and just live autonomously?
  2. IronGoth

    IronGoth Newbie

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    Let me guess. The moment you enter into a "relationship" everything about you changes.

    A guy can't leave a fork out on the counter without it being this big issue about "space issues" or something, a think which you'd have let slide when you were just friends.

    You need him to constantly know what to say, which he doesn't, and which didn't matter when you were just friends.

    Now that you're a couple you think he reflects badly on you which is why you'd like him to cut his hair differently or get a different job.

    If he goes out with friends you wonder why he cannot just want to be with you all the time.
  3. gdhmomchild

    gdhmomchild Duct tape abuser

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    Quite possibly you have pinned your hopes on men that weren't interested in a relationship other than casual and they noticed you were.
    I'm sorry your self esteem is tied to whether or not you have a relationship. Maybe thet are getting vibes of fear and desparation of sorts. You may be just scaring them off by wanting the relationship to be at a level they aren't ready for in such a short amount of time.
    Try just enjoying who you are and what you are about, the people and things around you, without expectations. Security and self esteem is an inside job.

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