Hello everyone. It’s been awhile since I posted. I’ll refresh you guys on my situation a little. Going through a divorce, it should be final soon. We are living separate at this time. I decided to explore my Bi side before while I still had my house and had I guy come over from doublelist and give it to me. It was quick and I didn’t really enjoy it. I’ve been wanting to try it again and I was talking to another guy from doublelist and we agreed to meet at a hotel one Saturday night. But he flaked on me. Since than I’ve been the one doing the flaking. I’ll watch gay porn and get myself worked up. Talk to guys on doublelist about meeting up but I never follow up. I guess the fear is what if I like sex with guys more than I do with woman and I never want sex with woman again.
......just take thing SLOW and EASY. Listen to your "gut instinct", and, quite simply, do what turns YOU on. You ARE what you ARE. If you find out you like sex with other men more than you do women, you are being HONEST with YOURSELF. Take things step-by-step....things will eventually fall into place, to YOUR advantage. Keep the faith, my friend!
If your "what if" scenario happens and you like sex with guys more than with woman and never want sex with woman again, I'd say be honest with yourself first, and since you are almost divorced, already separated....set yourself free, babe. Let yourself go and find out what you do like, although I think we all kinda suspect, and are rootin' for ya....
Another thing is to be HONEST about YOURSELF!!!!! It is NOT always easy (nor pleasant) to come to terms with what you are (or what you are not); trust me, I speak from painful experience. Again, just BE YOURSELF....no man, straight, gay, or bi, can be MORE than that. You are NOT alone, my friend, remember that........
You are going to like what you like. For me it’s more enjoyable meeting a guy on a site that I can chat and get to know him some before meeting. Then take the pressure off by meeting for a coffee or beer first to gain some familiarity before getting naked. That way you can weed out those you aren’t going to click with. Be forewarned, its a slippery slope once you come to terms with what you want.
It is scary meeting a new guy, and I think as a bottom, it should be scary. There are some real assholes out there. It took a couple years, and several bad experiences, before I found a really cool guy that is exclusive to me. It feels better with someone you are used to being with, just my opinion.
...... I am very glad that you finally found "Mr. Right"; many guys are not so lucky. Here's to a lot of good times for you both!
I'm sorry to hear of your pending divorce, a very difficult time I'm sure as I too went through it 10 years ago. It's a difficult time for you, somewhat unsure of what you want, you want, but are unwilling to follow through. My advice is to FIRST communicate with a man who has your similar interests. You've got to take that first step and meet with the man, then let down your inner guard and explore to find out whether it's something you enjoy or not. Even if it turns out you enjoy sex with men more than women it wouldn't be the end of the world. After my divorce I dated a couple of women and was having a lot of oral sex with other men. It led me to understand and accept that I am bisexual. I like having sex with both men and women. I'm remarried now to a woman who has accepted me for who I am and participates with me. She helped fully open the door to the real me and I am completely "free" to enjoy life and the joys it provides.
You are QUITE welcome, my friend! Keep us posted as to how things work out for you....sure hope all goes your way!
There's some great advice from people in this thread that I agree with. We're very fortunate to have such a forum. The only thing I might add in advice is to try to empathize with the other guy that you are thinking of flaking on. I'm sure you don't like it when someone else flakes on you. So kind of try to see it from his perspective, and see how he might also have some fear, or at least nervousness, about getting together with someone new, especially to have sex with, but his desire and excitement overrules the fear. So he's very anticipatory and excited about to get together with you. You don't want to disappoint him. Taking your mind off yourself and onto the other guy (onto others in general), and seeing that this guy has his own desires and wishes, and you are someone that could fulfil some of them. Then go do that. Don't think about yourself, but just think about him. Wishing others to be happy, and creating actions to do that, is exactly what creates our own happiness. It's a wonderful side effect of cherishing others. Think of yourself in the service of others. It doesn't mean being a doormat of course. Maintain your boundaries and take it slow, at the pace that you're comfortable with. And when getting together with someone, there's nothing wrong with saying, I'm not there yet, I'm not comfortable doing that yet, but could we do this?
