Father issues

Discussion in 'Men's Issues' started by MattInVegas, Dec 25, 2004.

  1. Texplayboy

    Texplayboy Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

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    I have a Father Issue to discuss

    And before anyone judges me as a father, because of my previous perverted post, keep in mind that when I have my daughter with me, I am a different man.

    I have planned a trip with my 26 year old son and my 10 year old daughter. The situation requires that my son and daughter travel to meet me in Paris. Her mother has decided she can not go, because a woman will not be present in case she needs to go to a public bathroom. I have had my daughter many weekends, and weeks in the summer, and remember dealing with this issue long before now. I am at a loss for words to describe how angry this makes me.

    I have a great relationship with both of my kids, and have always been there when they neede me. I have never missed a child support payment, and many times came up with that extra thing the mom needed in an emergency.

    I would be interested in women's point of view, in case I am missing something.

    help me
    SMILE (again)
    James
     
  2. MattInVegas

    MattInVegas John Denver Mega-Fan

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    Because of your US citizenship, she may get her way. The children are minors. You'll get some female replies too. Good Luck to you.
     
  3. Texplayboy

    Texplayboy Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

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    In reference to my previous post, where my EX did not want my daughter to join me for a week in Paris.

    Well it turns out that Paris is a much better idea to the "other" vacation option that I posed as a back up plan. My Harley Trip around the country for a couple of weeks was not my ex-wife's idea of a good vacation for my ten year old.

    SMILES
     
  4. MattInVegas

    MattInVegas John Denver Mega-Fan

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    I'm agreeing with YOU. It SUCKS to be the male parent of a female offspring.
    At least as far as it applies to US laws. I'm delighted you want to spend the time and get to know who she is as a person. (Kids really ARE human you know. ;-) )
    You keep fighting for that. MAKE them ask your kids what THEY want. Good Luck.
     
  5. craichead

    craichead Member

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    Just wanted to say that it's amazing how much father's rights topics a cropping up on the web these days.

    I think it's the new civil rights issue for the 21st century.

    Here's a site you may be interested in:

    www.glennsacks.com
     
  6. MattInVegas

    MattInVegas John Denver Mega-Fan

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    Damned straight! Thanks for noticing that, and for caring!
    Peace! Welcome to the Hip Forums.
     
  7. MOZMAN

    MOZMAN Member

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    surely a ten year old is capable of going to the bathroom on their own? i know i was. If this is the only reason I would argue that this shouldnt be a problem. good luck.
     
  8. Jharyn

    Jharyn Banned

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    http://glennsacks.com/

    The guy on this website does a lot for fathers rights. Especially when it comes to the false allegations that are made towards fathers in epidemic numbers. Check it out. It'll give you an idea of what is really going on out there to us fathers.
     
  9. MattInVegas

    MattInVegas John Denver Mega-Fan

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    Well FAR OUT for him! That's cool! The link is legit so check it.
     
  10. fricknfrack

    fricknfrack Member

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    my dad raised me well . My parents had joint custody. My mom was sole custodial for awhile when i was lil.


    My dad raised me tho for the most important parts of my life.
    `mom had really nothing to offer.

    my dad bought my first training bra at age 9
    My dad taught me about sex
    my dad bought both me and my sister pads when we started our monthly.
    (heaven's sake) NEVER EVER go to the grocery store w/ him he'll take the pads throw them down the aisle ad yell "WATCH FOOTBALL, coming down aisle 5 aisle 5"... Or better yet , he'll toot and say Explosion explosion please evacuate the building. My goodness what i was raised w/.

    T
     
  11. Carolina Appalachia

    Carolina Appalachia Banned

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    goddammit. i just posted a really well thought, extremely unpopular opinion(s) of mine and fucking unhipfora logged me out and then said this thread link was invalid!


    skip has this place jinxed against me -_-
     
  12. MattInVegas

    MattInVegas John Denver Mega-Fan

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    Hell. I hope he doesn't do that these days! He'd go to prison just for speaking the word b#mb. But you seem to have turned out okay so far.
     
  13. Mellow Yellow

    Mellow Yellow Electrical Banana

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    Good thread! It's good to hear so many folks voice the opinion that fathers can be as effective as mothers at parenting.

    Our legal system has a ways to go when it comes to the issue of fathers getting shafted in custody disputes, but I think this is a result of the deadbeat dad syndrome that happened thirty years ago. The system has effectively over corrected itself, so now the mom automatically gets custody unless she is proven unfit, which is really hard to do. I can give you horror stories of friends of mine who are paying through the nose for child support, meanwhile the kids are suffering because mom's psychologically unstable, and they're powerless to do anything about it.

    I had a terrifying experience six years ago when my daughter was conceived. My girlfriend and I had only been dating a few months, and we were being careful, then we had this surprise (thus the disclaimer of birth control being 99% effective, right?). She was as freaked out as I was, and I regret that I must've made her feel vulnerable by my reaction. I had recently been through a divorce from a psycho, so of course I was on the defensive. It's a good thing mom had the patience to work through my demons, 'cause now we're married and have a five year old daughter, best thing that ever happened to me.

    The scariest part of it was that I didn't think I had it in me to be a dad, with the responsibility and the commitment. My dad wasn't exactly the best roll model, so I didn't feel qualified, but I decided this was an opportunity to step up and make the best of it (I also acquired a son in the bargain, who's now a teenager). I've found that being a father isn't all that difficult, provided you're willing to make a few compromises. If you're supportive and respectful, and provide unconditional love and guidance without being overly controlling, while teaching them to acknowledge consequences and to take responsibility for their actions, your kids will usually do the right thing.
     
  14. Mellow Yellow

    Mellow Yellow Electrical Banana

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    I just realized Halloween marks the anniversary of my daughter's conception. I knew there was a reason I posted on here, I usually avoid the "touchy-feely" threads like this one, not that they're bad, just a personal comfort zone thing I guess...

    Take it easy,
     
  15. MakeYourKidsRich

    MakeYourKidsRich Member

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    Hear hear Mellow Yellow. Unfortunately too many absent, dead-beat dads have given fathers, and men overall a bad name.
     
  16. cutelildeadbear

    cutelildeadbear Hip Forums Gym Rat

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    I know this is supposed to be the happy loving fathers are great thread. But what if you honestly truly hate your father. And I don't mean hate in the way that kids throw the word around. I mean, a month ago my sister called me and told me that my father was in the hospital. He had pancreatitis. The doctor told him to stop being a drunk. Anyway, when she told me the first thing that came to mind was 1. did he have a will and was I getting anything, and 2. when would he die because when he does I will do a happy dance.

    Thing is people keep saying I'm evil and something is wrong with my brain because I would like to see my abusive alcoholic father who attempted to ruin my life (but didn't succeed) dead. I haven't spoken to him for 6 months and even then it was strained. Anyway, my question is, is there really something wrong with me for wanting this asshole dead, or is this a natural reaction.

    Don't get me wrong I have tried everything under my power to attempt a relationship or to mend the fucked up one we had, but he refuses. There is nothing more I can do.

    So what's the deal. Any thoughts?
     
  17. Mr. Melty

    Mr. Melty Member

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    If he's making life a living hell for you and refuses to change to make you happy, no you don't have a problem. You don't HAVE to love your parents. Sure you should be grateful that at least they kept you alive till you got out on your own, but you'r under no obligation.

    You can't pick your family if they're assholes that treat you like shit well i wouldn't love them either and i'd do a happy dance when they died too. If your dad can't make the effort to change for you you shouldn't either.
     
  18. MattInVegas

    MattInVegas John Denver Mega-Fan

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    This thread was about: "In the USA" The FATHER has absolutely ZERO rights! as far as child custody. Unless in the case of Brittany Spears, If DAD doesn't show in court, HE automaticall loses his legal rights as far as the child is involved. WTF is THAT about! Men, WE have the same rights as the Mom that fucked up!
    Mr. Melty? HE doesn't HAVE to change anymore than 'SHE' does!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This forum is for about how "HE' Feels.There has been a 'Womens Issues' forum for years on here. 'Mens Issues' is only a year or so old. It's OUR turn!
     
  19. MattInVegas

    MattInVegas John Denver Mega-Fan

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    I now have a PERFECT example of why this forum exists! Many of you have been reading about 'Brittany Spears' and the shit happening about the Children she gave birth to. THIS is about Kevin Federline and the rights HE has to those children. He would be, and in my opinion WILL be a better parent than SHE would. Who agrees or dis agrees?!?!?! What if the mother of YOUR kids fucks up like Brit has? Who will the court side with? The KIDS come FIRST!
     
  20. Mellow Yellow

    Mellow Yellow Electrical Banana

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    Right on.

    I agree he'll be a better parent by far. She must've fucked up really badly to lose custody, but it just goes to show our justice system does its job once in a while.

    Now, if only the media could focus on something important...
     

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