im not a product of my environment. well, maybe somewhat. my family is hella redneck and ghetto and everyone around me is hella cutthroat with no feelings. and i am the opposite. i dont think im redneck, even though i talk like one. i hope i turn out nothing like my family.
I believe when I used that same argument, saying, "People who don't have kids need to stfu.", it was widely regarded as 'stupid'.
That also means people don't have to have hard childhoods to be exposed to them. Can't have it both ways, bud.
...and affected the same way the people experiencing the hard childhoods are? Impossible. All I was saying to you is that parenting is more of an instinct, and can be learned from other people without having children. Comparing it to a terrible childhood is completely ridiculous.
I'm with Rubin on this.I have friends that have said"how you're brought up shouldn't have any bearing on what you do later".Yeah.OK.Tell that to the lady in Austria.Tell that to the motherfucker that burned his son up nearly to death to keep the mom from getting custody.Tell that to the child -molesting mormons.Now back it up on a sliding scale to what Mak and others may have gone thru.Also people are not clones.What may affect one person in a serious manner,might roll off the next one's back like the fabled water off a ducks' back.So basically,no one that had a loving and stable home life has a clue how bad it can get.Some of us were born very sensitive people.
These things are simply traumatic. Not just to children, but to anybody. That goes beyond a "tough/rough/bad childhood". If some mormon raped me, I'd be scarred too, and I'm not nearly as impressionable as a child. I guess I should've been clear that I believe there are distinguished differences between things like you mention and what most people think of when they think about abusive childhoods. Perhaps others see it differently, but I'd never compare what I went through to something like that and don't feel those things can even be catergorized the same.
True,but what set me off was the comment by Piaf.I said a sliding scale of abuse.Just when people say there's NO-repeat-NO reason to let the traumas of childhood affect how one is or how one reacts to various events,people,situations as they go thru life,I call bullshit.Some people never work on their childhood crap and some spend their whole lives working on it ----or not.There are some fucked up folks walking around and I don't think they were born that way.Lack of "nurture,I say.The exception would be bad brain chemicals.So sorry mak--I didn't mean anything by mentioning you.I'm not laying my crap out here-- let be it known that I didn't just fall off the turnip truck yesterday.
