Family arguments on Christmas

At 2AM Christmas morning, instead of dreaming about sugarplum fairies, I found myself elbow deep in a cold, wet and clammy goose's ass, tugging and pulling at innards that smelled suspiciously like fermaldehyde and feeling like a serial killer - all for the sake of a nice family Christmas dinner. This madness has to stop.

 

Cool! the coolest part about Christmas in Brooklyn is that there are so many Chinese and Arabs.

You know the guy is a Christian when they throw eggs! Throwing eggs at random passers-by on the street is Brooklyn`s version of a Christmas celebration. :biggrin:

 

My sister tried to start an argument when I went to ask if her boyfriend was okay.. He seemed isolated

And then I cried boxing day because she threw bacon in my lunch without me noticing (I didn't eat it, I was just drunk).

 

I had my family over boxing day, it was a really good time. I didn't have to see my bil this year at all. That was a present in itself.

 

My uncle talking to my father "the fish i caught was 2inches bigger than yours and it was the year of 63!"

my father "no it wasent they were the same length"

Grandpa "both of you are wrong it was the year of 65"

Uncle " MINE TOO WAS BIGGER and i caught it ON RHYO LAKE'

Father "NO IT WAS ON BASE MOUNTAIN and they were the same size fucking fish"

Grandpa "Both of you shut up your wrong about everything"

Uncle and Father "kljNLAYGHLJGHDKUYG DAD STFU OUR FISH WAS"

mINE WAS BIEGER

NO Mine was

It was the year of 67! no 61!

Grandma "would you all be quiet please"

I sit there like " wtf who ate all the potatoes already"

 

lol! Sounds familiar.

 

What is this 'family' thing you speak of?

 

I know what it is for me. Something entirely formal and legalistic: a will, an heir, a piece of land, a surname, a business, contacts, and a blood line. The same goes for marriage. Fortunately, elements of my family see it the same way.

I am instinctively drawn to proper boundaries, hierarchy, and manners. Intimacy is reserved for the peer. To those who drop the L word all too easily, I put on a front of tolerance; the better to keep them within arm`s length. I feel like I derive from a different strain of the gene pool than them, but keep that sentiment private.

 

Can't find the cheers emoticon

 

:cheers2:

 

I know it's there and typed....am I the only one that doesn't see it??

Also I just woke up and am confused (as usual)