Hi all, I have a question that is eating at me a bit, so my girlfriend and I broke up recently as we just werent compatible enough and we basically outgrew eachother. We were together for 5 years, yesterday a mutual friend showed me some texts she sent him about our sex life, She basically said that in our 5 years I could never give her a orgasm, but I never had any reason to believe she faked it. We had frequent sex and she always seemed to enjoy it as much as I did, and she used to say we had a great sex life. The things I noticed when I thought I made her climax is: Elevated breathing. Slight sweating. Eyes closed. Body stiffened. Vagina was always very wet. Occasional redness on legs and stomach after climax. Go silent not able to talk during climax. When shes ready to climax she would tell me. When she starts to climax she would say "dont stop, dont stop" and then go silent as her body tightens. There were some vaginal contractions but I dont think they were THAT prominent. She used to also tell me if she came close to climaxing but did not. I just dont know why she would lie about this, but in your opinion does it sound like she faked it? We were each others 1st loves so I have nothing to compare her to.
IMO, if she was faking orgasms, she has no right to complain. Her orgasms (legit or faked) taught you what she liked. If she was teaching you wrong (faking) then she can't complain that you learned the wrong thing. On the other hand, what someone says about their recently broken-up long term partner can't always be trusted. Especially if it reflects poorly on that partner. She may have been fibbing to this mutual friend.
Orgasms are a natural occurrence for both males and females that only come with a great deal of trust and typically happen when a woman Is truly in the mood or comfortable enough to think solely on having an orgasm. For us buddy its completely different all we need is to feel in the mood and some external/internal stimulation. Although I have no personal experience in the field of faking an orgasm, when my girlfriend has a legitimate one she tends to do the same do and say the same things. In all honesty don’t worry too much about it. You claimed that you were each other’s first, so I can’t see how she would be able to completely fake something like a orgasm via penetration so realistically. Take what you can form this horrible sex partner and use it in your next ventures. Although it may seem like you were doing something wrong at the moment. It wasn’t for your lack of trying or enthusiasm, rather it is primarily her fault for not telling your what felt good or giving you advice on how to make her orgasm. If I could give you one piece of advice it would be to move on from this crappy sex partner because there are many more to come (no pun intended). And if and when you find someone that isn’t going to lie and actually tell you her needs and wants, you sexual experience will go above and beyond your expectations. In closing, she lied to your friend to make it seem like you two didn’t have a sex life because she really misses it or is too uncomfortable to accept the fact that you made her orgasm. Either way you’re the man and best of luck to you. `
