This Forum is being conducted by Dr. Kerry Huaka'i Emerson of Pua Mana 'Ohana via our 'Ohana = Family profile here on The Hip Forums & does not necessarily reflect the opinions of all members of Pua Mana 'Ohana though we fully support him in his most excellent eccentricities & appriciate him Greatly representing for us. ~ Mahalo nui loa = Thank you very much ~ ~ Facebook vs. Rollerblades ~ A comedic comparison brought to you by Spandex, Rollerblades, out of business 1980's hairspray companies & device addicted dopamine feedback loop fiends like you & I. Humanity has endured many epic embarrassments from 1980's yearbook photos to the current mindbogglingly moronic bobble head meets interchangeable background #Selfie trend of today -- though nothing has threatened the future of our stupid self absorbed species #Like Rollerblades, Spandex & Facebook #OhMy There was an ancient time, concealed deep beneath piles of Polaroid photographs & old stretched out #Spandex shorts-suit ensembles when people actually thought #Rollerblades were cool... As this paparazzi pic of Facebook C.E.O. & suckafish stunt double for emotionally challenged mannequins Marky Nark #Zuckfeld taken last weekend proves -- we have never been so far from the mark...literally Marketed to the spandex enthusiasts of yesteryear as a #Great way to combine exercise & transportation while racking up massive mountains of cool guy points, Rollerblades proved to be none of the above. The only exercise an up & coming Rollerblader actually received revolved around lacing up the billions of holes in your bunk booty blades & using your broken finger to dial #911 on a Rotary telephone after you eat pavement as you crash clumsily in your driveway. As for transportation -- it is difficult to arrive at any destination when you are laying bleeding in the bike lane as people laugh at your self inflicted misfortune while shaking #Polaroid pics in your fractured face. When it comes to racking up cool guy points, #Facebook C.E.O. & Rollerblade Barbie booty short model #MarkZuckerberg shows us just how false that premise was to begin with in this shocking photo taken at the Facebook Frankfurter Festival. #WeThePeople eventually figured out that Rollerblades were not only un-cool they were dangerous. Facebook is also dangerous & even less cool than Rollerblades & Spandex on a cold day. Giving your @ReaL friends the cold shoulder while dining in public because you are busy socializing online or sharing a pic of your moons-over-my-hammy omelette at Denny's is not even close to cool either. Studies show Facebook is as addictive as cigarettes with none of the cool menthol flavor you love & all of the unhealthy side-effects. Many moons-over-my-hammy-ago a cartoon character named Joe Camel was allowed to entice impressionable youth into being cool like him by contracting emphysema & #Cancer -- now it is our buddy Zuck Zebra with his addictive social media #DopamineFeedbackLoop #Fake #Facebook #Matrix of #Misery. The truth is neither Rollerblades or Facebook are even close to cool -- though at least Rollerblades are not addictive like the social media dopamine feedback loop lunacy we see so pervasive in society today thanks to Zuck Zebra, his silly clone Fake Face Friends & slimey succubus servants sitting in Silicone Valley watching us through our Smart Phones at Facebook HQ like that peeping property manager in the 1980's movie Sliver starring #Sexy Sharon Stone & #Sneaky Stephen Baldwin. Ask yourself this: Do you really want to make Mark Eliot Zuckerberg more money to buy a closet full of matching spandex suits or would you like to taste your freshly photographed Denny's value menu moons-over-my-hammy before your friends dine & ditch you for ignoring them & go Rollerblading at the new retro 1980's roller skate rink without you or your precious smart phone??