you miss out on a lot of nonverbal cues if you dont look at pple when you talk to them. ps, people who have trouble making eye contact may be deficient in vite a and the omega 3 fatty acids
allaberate, i think i know wot u meen i never thought biology would come in to it im one of theese self rightious teenagers who blames his problems on society , like most of us, so i think its the general public who have trouble with the truth!
When in a conversation, look the person in the eyes while they are speaking, but avert your eyes while you are speaking, except when you are concluding your message or driving home an important point. This is one of the many things most children pick up in kindergarten, but I had to learn relatively late in life because I have Asperger's Syndrome.
I think eye contact is a very important thing... i mean eyes are a mirror of one's soul (a popular russian saying) so when you look at them you can learn about a person more than even while talking... Usu i can't maintain this eye contact with guys i like... because of shyness... But still I keep trying... Butit is very easy with strangers or passers-by... just a curious long look... great! I think it's a sigh of the lack of self-confidence when ya are afraid of doing that.
Just practice it. When I was a younster someone once commented to me that I never kept eye contact (I didnt like the guy, that's probably why). It feels strange at first, almost like you are staring the other person down. I like to have a crazy look in my eyes, especially when I have to communicate with my boss.
well...if they are mirrors, then they'd be showing the perfectly inverted version of who you really are...hehe I too observed myself not holding eye contact while talking to anyone and I'm slowly learning to do so. It feels awkward at first, but is easy really. And you dont have to keep doing it. In fact, it is essential to avert your gaze from time to time.
I've got Asperger's syndrome, eye contact is really hard for me as a result. Aspergers is an autism spectrum disorder, typified by above average intelligence, social difficulties, and sometimes clumsy motor skills. It wasn't really recognized until recently so many many adults have been undiagnosed. I dunno if it's applicable to your case.
I think I might have that too^ i find it really hard to keep eye contact, i know it shows a lot about what the person is feeling at that time and what not, but just keeping eyes lined up is a drag, its almost like playing chicken with a truck or something. I just cant do it. And i cant stand people who ask me to look them in the eye, its a birthright not too.
im still not any better at it , n i started this thread ages ago , ive changed my lifestyle in hope it would sort my lack of social skills out, No more weekend drug binges ,healthy eatin , exercise, and just anew outlook , nothings changed tho but i dont care as much as i use to but i still find the subject very interesting . Asperger's syndrome symtoms marked impairments in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body postures, and gestures to regulate social interaction failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests, or achievements with other people (e.g. by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people) lack of social or emotional reciprocity B. Restricted repetitive and stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests, and activities, as manifested by at least one of the following: encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity or focus apparently inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines or rituals stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms (e.g., hand or finger flapping or twisting, or complex whole-body movements) persistent preoccupation with parts of objects C. The disturbance causes clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning D. There is no clinically significant general delay in language (e.g., single words used by age 2 years, communicative phrases used by age 3 years) E. There is no clinically significant delay in cognitive development or in the development of age-appropriate self-help skills, adaptive behavior (other than social interaction), and curiosity about the environment in childhood
Fake it until you make it. How often do you talk to someone you don't like, but put on a pleasant face anyways? Same goes with shyness and confidence. Pretend, and eventually it'll click. Habits and real changes take a long time to take hold. Eye contact will get you respect, and it will also show respect to whomever you're talking to.
If you don't like it, just don't look. Sometimes, when people say certain things, I look at their eyes to see if they're telling the truth or something, but you should just try and look at their whole, be analytical about how they act. You don't NEED to look at their eyes for any more than 2 seconds, you'll learn things from whatever aspect you look at, eventually. Or you could just be distracted by everything around you all the time when people are talking, like me, sometimes i can hardly fix myself in one place
A microsecond of eye contact is all that is needed to help you figure out if you should be at ease with this person or you should get ready to flee or fight. Eye contact is an instinct (I think) and we don’t have instinct for nothing. There is a lot to be seen in person’s eyes. So it could save you a lot of hassle in the future or speed up a new friendship if you take a couple of seconds and gaze into the eyes first. And unless they have laser eyes it doesn’t hurt. Cheers!