Ex's

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by DancerAnnie, Apr 6, 2006.

  1. forwardventure

    forwardventure Member

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    I'm dealing with a psycho ex right now. He's bad enough when he knows I've hung out with an same sex friend that I've known for years, but I've been too afraid to enter in a relationship for months for fear of the extremes he will go to. So far, whenever I would show the least bit of interest in a guy he usually got to them somehow and tells them I'm a whore, bitch, etc. etc. (bitch, maybe..[​IMG] , but definately not a whore.) He also tries to befriend all of my current boyfriend's friends so he can have almost direct access to our relationship.

    I have to admit though, I've done something similar to him. (after he did stuff to me, but not as a revenge type thing) I'm genuinely worried for his potential girlfriends. The girls he goes after are typically very vulnerable, or in vulnerable situations, and prime for being sucked into his crazy mind games and abuse. I've only done it twice, to girls that I suspected would get in too far after it was too late to get out without a major struggle, like I was. I only messaged them once, telling them what I wished I would have known about him. That's all. I didn't tell them not to get involved, I didn't make up any lies about him, I just did what I felt I had to do, and I don't regret it.

    I would never hound and harass an ex or his new mate though, and I've decided that from now on if an ex is as abusive as mine was, I'm just going to completely block him out of my life as best I can so I won't have to deal with any of that from either side.
     
  2. dhs

    dhs Senior Member

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    I could see my ex doing this to me if she knew of someone I had a romantic interest in. I was a complete asshole at times towards her in our relationship and she was equally as bad towards me. She claims that I played head games with her, but it was all her and her obsession with power and manipulation. The girls hormones truly made her act completely crazy at times and though I didn't handle it well, I didn't resort to head games like she claims.

    I wish her all the best in the world and it is best for the both of us that we are no longer together. I'm happy for her that she's found someone new. I made some comments about her directed towards him the other night, but only as a knee jerk reaction defending myself from her attacks towards me. I just want her to leave me alone and stop telling the world what a horrible abusive person I am because I'm not. I was an asshole to her at times I admit, but I am not the villain she tries to make me out to be.

    I agree with DancerAnnie regarding getting involved with an ex's personal life

     
  3. .Hannah.

    .Hannah. Member

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    I think you misread the message. I wasn't referring to condoning meddling in an ex's business. And I don't agree with it either. Yet neither do I agree with the apparent flippancy you have towards exs. People do change but many do not.

    You can learn a lot about your present partner by how he treats or has treated his exs. It doesn't mean you go prying into every nook and cranny - that's bordering on psychosis. But just keeping an eye out. I'm glad you feel very confident in your relationship. :) However from my experience, I prefer taking all things into consideration including any disrespectful behaviour towards people he has known in the past. Some breakups are just bad. Then there are others that are quite shady, and valid reasons to be wary of whomever you're seeing at the time.
     
  4. hippie_chick666

    hippie_chick666 Senior Member

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    I've talked to Adam's ex before and she is very manipulative, which is part of the reason why they got a divorce. He thinks she might have borderline pd issues. I kind of think the same thing, especially when she says stuff like, "I'll always be Adam's first ex-wife and you will never have that. We have a special bond as ex's" I think, "No, I will just be Adam's wife, not Adam's ex-wife." I feel bad for her, but when she starts harassing Adam and I, my sympathy can be found in the dictionary between shit and syphillus.

    peace and love
     
  5. .Hannah.

    .Hannah. Member

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    I'm sorry to hear hippie_chick though I do remain sympathetic towards the exes, if not skeptical of the guy. Heh.
     
  6. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

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    you're psycho I wantnothing more than for you to find somone and get off my ass. I'm totally obsessed with Chris and can't think of anyone else there is no way in hell I would be anything but happy for you if you found somone. I would prefer that you got some counseling for your drinking and anger problems so they wouldnt have to go through the same thing. But I am happy and would never interfere in your personal relationships...I could care less.


    I told Laura today that I am going to be contacting the police out there. She was right that my threats of physical violence were wrong and I feel the law could best handle this dispute. I am going to put you back on ignore and good luck to you. I have saved all of your emails calling me names and have several recorded phone calls and a recording on my phone and pictures of bruises and of you yanking your phone outta the wall. An your old downstais neighbor as a witness. This has gone too far and I am uncomftralbe. Everything will be fowarded and I will not file a civil suit unless it is to cover attorney costs if you refuse disoute the charges.

    Becareful next time Ryan I may look like a young innocent girl but I have a lot of people who care about me who are nto as naive.
     
  7. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

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    and one more thing you told me you put your hands on a shook stephanie so that is bullshit
     
  8. ELENA1981

    ELENA1981 Member

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    Ladies with exes:
    Don't you think it is solely your boyfriends' responsibility to get rid of the exes? He came into your life with a emotional baggage, so let him clean up the mess
     
  9. .Hannah.

    .Hannah. Member

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    Voice of reason. ;) Nice running into you again!
     
  10. ELENA1981

    ELENA1981 Member

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    Same here...
     
  11. DancerAnnie

    DancerAnnie Resident Beach Bum

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    lynsey, with all due respect, please don't bring your personal attacks here...you can do all of this in PM's. Thank you.
     
  12. RetroGroove_Grrl

    RetroGroove_Grrl I'm a big girl now

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    When it comes to ex girlfriends, he has to tell them to fuck off. End of story.
     
  13. hippie_chick666

    hippie_chick666 Senior Member

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    Adam has told her to fuck off, so has his best friend, brother in law, sister... She won't give up and still talks about his family as if they liked her, which they think she is his biggest mistake...

    peace and love
     
  14. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

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    you're right sorry to be a thread highjacker and he ended up doing the right thing so I am glad the issue is to rest and I can now feel a bit more peace.
     
  15. Magicfunkychicken

    Magicfunkychicken Member

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    Em this girl sounds like a STALKER. I'm sure you could threaten her with legal action of some sort? Anybody able to help me out on this?
     
  16. hippie_chick666

    hippie_chick666 Senior Member

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    The ex has been warned about a restraining order...

    Peace and love
     

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