after seeing some 'friends' fadding away after lots of E, it waries me from regular or weekly use. by fadding, i mean dropping out of school -uni, failing subjects, basically just fucking up, getting in lots of trouble. im not sure what question im asking. but, is it this weekly use that fucks people up? Monthly use? i guess im just looking for some stories, of how much 'they've' done and how quickly the've "faded" away. basically im looking to seek an optimal amount of E's to take without "fucking myself up". Basically i want to do as much as i can, without "fucking myself". you know what i mean? ofcourse you do! i knew you wouldnt let me down, i knew it! - 'Human Traffic'
yeah i getcha, but of course that amount/time is going to vary with different humans.. its all in the person's personality aswell, whether they are a naturally optomistic or pessimistic person, you know? cos i dont really..
I have only been using X for about a month, and I have noticed a pattern of week-to-week.. and I have also noticed that in the beginning of the week, you work yourself down from the last roll, reconcilling events and such, and come around the middle of the week, you begin looking forward-to.. looking-for that next roll. Almost as if your next week would not come if that weekend-roll was not accomplished. I hate that, I will be honest. I hate the mental addiction. But the one thing I will say is that right now I am in the first month of summer, away from college, visiting friends...partying and doing X. That's all my summer has been so far. And to be honest my summer probably won't get much better than the weekly patterns of partying. But I know my own boundries and weaknesses and strengths and what my mind can and can not handel.... and I will do my best to snap back. Because I have morals. So basically what I am saying is that I know for a fact that it counts on the person. Weather they are a true duggy, or weather they use the drug as a recreational purpose. Weather or not they have a future, or goals for their futures, and such. Because if the person taking X is a high-school or freshman college student who doesn't know where they are going with life, I can honestly see how X would make then "give up". Because X makes things seem so pretty- so easy, so breathtaking, people realize "I can have a great life, sit back, relax, take Ecstasy". But it's not all that easy. Honestly, I would rather stop taking X now, and forever know the feeling I have had on X, than I would drop out of college and become a regular user. You have to be strong enough as a person to say, "Hey, I have to have a life in order to have that feeling of ecstacy." And you have to be able to control your own addiction to the whole sichuation. I know I have a very addictive personality and it is so hard for me to say no to my own wants/addictions/needs... but at the same time, It's all in fun. And life is about happiness and success, in the end.
