Hi, looking for advice. An Ex girlfriend from school/college (10-12 years ago) ago has randomly got in touch with me on social media asking if I still have the video we made of us having sex... I am married and so is she... she hasn’t said any more than that really, I do still have the video but I’m not sure what to say or do? Why does she want to know and is it bad for me to still have it? We are both adults in the video btw.
If she wants to have it or a copy A. You do it if you don’t mind B. You destroy it and find a way to let her witness the destruction A big deal here, I recommend you don’t lie about the tape. I wonder why you still have it now that you are not single, though I understand it must be nice to watch. Does your wife know about the tape? How does she feel or think about it? If she doesn’t, how would she feel or think about it? Whether you tell her about it or she finds it.
Well she may be afraid you will put it on xhamster and maybe she married and in love with her husband. Finds it shameful and wants it destroyed
maybe she wants to show her husband cuz he's into it? ask her why, and be honest no need to lie about having it
It may appear odd that you still have it around despite being married. Does your wife know about it? Mine would not be happy if I had a sex tape with a former partner. I always destroyed any nude photos I had of ex-girlfriends when we broke up and I told them I was doing that without prompting. For me the right to have them only existed as part of that relationship and it was respectful to destroy them when it ended. In your situation I would be embarrassed to say I still had it so would probably destroy it and tell her it was destroyed out of respect for her. Then she won’t worry that you may have shared or shown it to others over the years. No need for her to lose sleep over it. Out of interest, have you let anyone else see it?
My wife doesn’t know about it and I can’t imagine she’d be happy about it. Last time I watched it was a long time ago to be fair but I just don’t want to get rid of it. She wouldn’t find it, it’s a file saved somewhere secure
If you still have it, and your wife doesn't know - bad form. That is very disrespectful and inconsiderate... be a man... trash the tape. To answer the past girl, you should say no. Because after you trash it, you wouldn't be lying. All other answers are selfish
I would reply that the video was destroyed, because it was. What would your wife say if she found the video ? I know what Mrs TC would say, and it would not be a good conversation ....
I would tell the truth that you have it. To people questioning your motives keeping it, it's a snapshot of your life, shouldn't have to trash it. If you were both consenting adults and knew you were filming, I believe it's ethically ok to keep it - as long as you never make it public, show it off to people, nor threaten her with release of the tape. It's easy to accumulate photos, tapes, cards, books, etc., as it takes conscious effort to find, sort, & pitch the stuff. Migrating hard drives and weeding out duplicates takes time & work. Edit: Somewhere I have some digital stills having sex with the last ex before my wife. Sadly no video, wish I had more images as she was like a model in my eyes. The ex never asked for them back, or to be destroyed. I would never make them public. I mentioned to my wife years ago I them on a CD. It would take me an hour or more to find it! I may have to make the effort after reading this post for a nice flashback!
I agree with Yoda. Just destroy it and draw a line under it and move on. You have the potential for an awful lot of hassle there. Look to securing your future with your Wife, not trying to pacify a long gone ex.
I always destroy any private photos and videos I have of my ex's when we part. I think it's the right thing to do.
The consensus seems to be (1) get rid of it and (2) then tell her truthfully that you don't have it. I agree.
I'd get rid of it. I do that with any pics that are sent to me when we're no longer in touch. If she's a steady friend, then I usually keep them but once we drop out of touch, they're gone. I only have a few where I was allowed to share with others and I've done that now and again. If I had to guess, those that got sent to me were probably also sent to others.
