Evolving from Bisexual to Gay...

My wife knows I love her and will always love her as she is no longer sexually active. She also completely understands how I feel about him having been with him for so long. His wife is still sexually active with both her husband and I a couple times a month and has no problem with her husband and I having oral sex with each other a couple times a week. For many years I loved his big sexy cock, but here recently I've come to realize I love him as a person, not just his cock. His wife has told me she has come to accept that her husband and I are lovers and have been for many years. Having caught the two of us one afternoon 69 sucking each other she eventually admitted how turned on it made her to have sex with both of us and wants our relationships to continue that way. I've told her and my wife that I'd never felt this way until I was encouraged by my wife to give up my ass to his cock. They understood why, his wife certainly does as he's fucked us both in our asses a number of times during threesomes and she has seen how much I enjoy being fucked by her husband. My sexual relationship with him is still 90% oral sex, but the 10% of anal sex I get from him seems to bring out more passionate feelings for him. My wife and I have a great relationship together, it just no longer involves sex and being she's had sex with all of us in the past she understands how I feel.

 

I've known guys who went from straight to bi to gay and they said that they found themselves to be more into men than women. A few of them admitted to being in love with a guy (or guys) and that this all felt right to them so if I learned anything from this, it's that a guy can, indeed, start out straight, give being bi a go, and settle into a totally gay lifestyle. Good for them and especially if they find the happiness they were looking for. As I seem to recall, a couple of them went back to being bi because they couldn't totally give up on women; one guy told me how his fellow gay brothers were giving him much grief after he slept with a woman and treated him like he was a traitor to the gay cause.

I've felt that since it got out there that being bisexual is just a stepping stone on the way to being totally homosexual, it's like bi guys are... expected to wind up being gay and if they don't make the transition, well, they're in denial. I think it doesn't help that I've heard this sentiment out of the mouths of gay men more than I have from anyone who's straight - and I know a lot of guys who suppressed their bisexuality out of the fear that they would, eventually, be totally homosexual. I would never, ever say that the OP's situation is a bad one and he's lucky to be with a woman who understands how he feels. Is he evolving into a gay man or is he just really deep into the sex he has with him? He's the only one who can answer this question.

I learned to never say never but at this point in my life, I couldn't see my transitioning from bisexual to gay. I love the sex I can have with men and I understand my own emotions but, nope: I love women too much. I'm definitely not a fan of monogamy and bisexuality has opened my eyes to the great diversity to be explored and enjoyed and I don't ever want to give that up. Having the sex is one thing; living the lifestyle? Can't imagine why I'd want to be gay - but for anyone considering it, go for it! Do what you gotta do!

 

I know guys who said, "Never!" and... they're quite gay today. And, yeah - who knows? If you say that you're never going to have sex with a woman again, one will come along and break you off a nice piece! It could work!

 

I think this indicates you are bi-romantic and bisexual? Or at least are both with at least him, if not men in general? I think it's great you are able to have this feeling towards him, and able to share it with him, his wife, and your wife! And share it here with us!

I wish society would separate the aspects of romantic relationships and sexual relationships .
Have hetero, bi, homo, pan as classifiers separately for each. As KDaddy wrote in a different thread, many bisexual men fear being labeled or perceived as destined to become gay, when really we mostly just want the sex?

I think more men would openly be bisexual, myself included, if there was no social stigma attached to us by women that we were suddenly not going to love them or be with them anymore, or that we never loved them in the first place. When I believe that is rarely the case with most bisexual men. If only having bi, gay sex could be seen as just another male bonding behavior, like hunting, fishing, or golf, etc, where women knew he was just going to spend some time away with the boys, but always come right back, everytime? That her man wasn't going to run away and permanently join the gay circus, romantic wise and leave her? No offense to homo-romantic or even to an extent bi-romantic men on here, but I think this fear of abandoning her for a man, is what makes 66% of women want nothing to do with a bi man?

My god, can you imagine how much happier men would be, and hetero marriages would be if guys could just stop by after work or the weekend at their male friends garage, get or give a blowjob, then go home? Less divorce, less domestic abuse, alcohol & drug abuse, crime? It's hard to be angry and pissed off at anything if you're constantly getting sexually satisfied? Your wife doesn't want to put out, well she just tells you to hang out at your buddy Joe's for a bit, get blown, feel better, just be back in time for supper? Who has the time or energy to be angry if you're always busy getting your dick taken care of? Not me, that's for sure!

But nope, a lot of us bi guys have wives who cut us off from sex, and don't understand why we're pissed off, indifferent, & distant towards them for giving us the cold shoulder?

 

My first wife evolved this way after 20 years of marriage that involved a lot of great sex. The lack of sex with her drove me to jerking off far more often than I wanted to be doing. Guess what? I let another guy suck me off knowing it's easier to get a random blowjob from a guy than it is from a woman. A mouth is a mouth and feels better than jerking off. It wasn't long after that first male blowjob I found myself sucking cock too. For the next two years I was mutually sucking cock with many other married men and still not getting sex from my wife but had no intention of leaving her, I truly did love her. However, I then got the "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" talk. Bullshit! You're having sex with someone else; you found another cock. I wanted to tell her I found many other cocks to play with but didn't do so. I was content being her husband and sucking cock with other married men. Anyway, we divorced, and my life has been filled with nothing but happiness, joy, satisfaction, and love since I met my current wife that is aware of my bi-sexuality and has accepted it along with me.