I think you do not want to die. You just want to live other way. Think about it. About thoughts to kill someone. Yeah. Many times
I don't know I don't think a horrid stay in a hospital that makes me feel worse would really deter me from having suicidal thoughts...it might however increase them. maybe that's how it worked for you but the same things don't work for everyone, and I doubt they specifically design hospitals that way.......if they do then that's kind messed up in my opinion since they're supposed to help people.
I feel like the o.p daily but then i take my happy pills and life becomes rainbows and unicorns.....not really but after taking them atleast life is tolerable. Strongs dube btdtbtts.