Ever have to pee so bad..

Truer words were never spoken

 

my worst was one time back when i lived in the city, a group of us were supposed to go watch the july 4th fireworks. but for some reason (it was a long time ago, i don't remember the details), almost everyone bailed so i ended up being third wheel with a relatively new couple. you know, the type that just wants to feel each other up in public and ignore everyone else. so i filled the time by drinking a lot of beer really fast. then the fireworks came and i didn't want to leave that to go to the bathroom. when it was finally over i was about ready to burst, so i headed for the port-o-pot on the way out. but everyone else had the same idea, and for some reason they only had one or two toilets for the main fireworks show in a city of 300,000. so i waited forever, it probably would have been faster to just drive the 20 minutes back home but on the first bump i would have soaked someone's backseat. i truly believed that i was going to have to just run to a bush and expose myself in front of a bunch of families, but somehow i managed to hold it just long enough to get through the line.

and that's the story of why i'm not quite a registered sex offender.

hell, i encourage them to look at my penis. it's always nice to get a round of applause when i'm pissing.

but really, i don't mind at the urinal but i really hate when i'm shitting at a public toilet and someone decides to do anything in the stall immediately beside me.