Ever have bad experience with male friends when you come out?

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by la Principessa, Aug 12, 2018.

  1. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

    Ja. I honestly find pride rallies to be a bit instigating and tend to sympathise with the phobes to a degree. :(

    "look I don't care what you are just don't push it in my face"

    I can totally understand and respect that.

    I'm more of a just be yourself kind of person. I don't hide that I'm with a woman, I kiss, hug and make out in public. I don't ever think I've chimed in a conversation with "I'm a lesbian" though lol. Online yeah, not IRL though.
     
  2. la Principessa

    la Principessa Old School HF Member

    I do still kind of hide it sometimes. It depends where we are. When were we're in a place with a lot of older people I tend to let go of her hand because we get dirty looks a lot. I don't care what they think, but I also don't want some awkward confrontation in public. Or maybe a crazy person would follow us to the parking lot and shoot us. It happens.

    I get what you're saying, but I still wonder what kind of people follow gay news and get up to protest a pride parade with hateful signs. I've been harassed by those people before. Sometimes I feel like it's not worth going anymore. And there's a bunch of naked guys. If I wanted to see that, I'd have stayed with my ex! Lmao
     
  3. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

    Maybe that's why I am that way though in general. I was reading your post and thinking, I guess I don't get rude public comments or outbursts. I don't really see any racist public stuff so I can't associate with it. I don't see many public outbursts about anything. I don't read the news. I don't watch the news. If I don't have to, I won't listen to the radio. Every time I do catch news, it pisses me off. I find it all very negative. :S I think I've created a happy little shell around myself. I should write a childrens book about a woman that never grows up lol and call it, the girl in the shell. Just a happy lil camper. :) alright I'm talking shit now.
     
  4. la Principessa

    la Principessa Old School HF Member

    That's lucky. That shit happens all the time here. Especially with the Cheeto president. People won't shut up about how Trump is the next coming of Christ and they think it gives them the right to harass anyone they want. Being in the South doesn't help. I guess I'm pretty jaded at this point. The news pisses me off, people piss me off. I could use a bubble! Teach me your ways! Lol
     
  5. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

    :(

    Well my way is really just.. Well I don't mean I don't care.. but I dunno. People drag me down a bit, they don't know they're doing it but I'm an emotional sponge lol. You just got to find peace in your life and concentrate on it. I got it a bit easier on my life than a lot though, so I know it's easier for me.

    I got the few things that make me happy and keep me occupied and I just don't get caught up in the rest of it, well I try not to. My attitude is I ain't getting out of this world alive, I have no second chance at this I may as well experience everything I can and want and I just pushing for it.

    I'm slowing down a bit now though, but I've picked up other things I want to strive at. And that's all I try to focus on and care about most times, or else I'm just going to emotional sponge and suck up all the negativity.

    I've tried this Zen peace love stuff, it doesn't work for me, I think I'm geared to problem solving and conflicts. While negativity pulls me down, I'm better for it when I rise above. :) I'm an ungrateful winner, and I'll let everyone know about it when I do rise above lol.
     
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  6. Asmodean

    Asmodean Slo motion rider

    Yeah, you know... I'm not really suprised some men felt disappointed. But most of your male friends.. That's weird and unfortunate. And that they act like a betrayed dick afterwards also. Not neccesary at all.

    So, you're into gaming and Star wars (among other things :D) if i recall right. Well, i recall lots of your posts over the years and believe me, you always struck me as great friend material! Platonic even :p
     
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  7. Asmodean

    Asmodean Slo motion rider

    Same with Irms btw. How many guys have expressed how cool they find you and you would be a great pal to drink beer with but in the same post go on about her being lesbian and/or very sexy lol.
    I just wanna go to a festival with her or have a chill couch party with pot and other stuff we both dig. So much fish in the pond, why perv on your lesbian friend to the point a friendship gets ruined..
     
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  8. IAmMaxieHearMeRoar

    IAmMaxieHearMeRoar Maxie Lee Courtland-Colton

  9. Irms said she has mostly guy friends, you say your guy friends disappeared once you came out.

    Its got nothing to do with being gay, two gay women that are polar opposites when it comes to platonic friends of the opposite sex

    Why do you think that is?

    Irms can sit down with them, genuinely be interested in watching Nascar, remember all the drivers names etc...its got nothing to do with sexuality
     
  10. la Principessa

    la Principessa Old School HF Member

    I get it. I was super into Buddhism for a while, but I can't just sit around and be positive all the time. But I don't call myself a pessimist either. I would call myself a pragmatist. Honestly, I've got my little creature comforts and my relationship, but whenever I try to branch out with new people it goes badly. It's hard not to get annoyed about it and the shit going on in the world. But hey, I've got my little nest and maybe I should just be happy with that.
     
  11. la Principessa

    la Principessa Old School HF Member

    Well I guess I exaggerated a bit. I used to have a lot of male friends but when I came out I had a few. The one I still talk to was fine and totally supportive. I considered my ex a friend at the time as well and thought he was over it all, but then he didn't take it too well. I got deleted by two more male friends, one of which tore me a new one about how I'm a prissy bitch and a tease, etc. I don't flirt with my male friends. We talk about regular stuff we have mutual appreciation for. As of now my male friends are predominantly gay.

    Yes gaming! And not so much Star Wars anymore. I'm not a huge fan of the sequels and the repeating plot points lol And you know, you're actually one of the few people I follow on here, so I feel the same!
     
  12. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

    Nest, I like that. I use den myself :p and sometimes, my darken shrine. As I black all light if I can in my bedroom. Well you sound like you're doing well, so keep it up. :) you might even realise you just taught yourself about my ways and that you were already had it in new, you just didn't know it until now. Lol.
     
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  13. la Principessa

    la Principessa Old School HF Member

    I feel like you're my Glinda right now. I always had the power to go home to my nest, but I got too caught up in other humans. Lol

    I like darken shrine, though. I always feel the urge to hiss at the sunlight coming in my windows lmao I should definitely get some black out curtains.
     
  14. Noserider

    Noserider Goofy-Footed Member

    Back in the day, like high school age, it could be weird. Most reactions seemed to be contained disappointment.

    "Oh. You're a lesbian...that's cool..." And then after that it was like the nature if our relationship changed. It's like they realized once they had zero chance of fucking me, there was no reason to hang around me.

    For others, it was the opposite. It invited a perverse curiosity, a mild fascination if you will, usually coupled with the idea that if I'd sleep with a girl and sleep with anyone.

    Mostly, it seemed that guys who were already in relationships were the only ones who didn't act weird.
     
  15. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

    I don't know who Glinda is. :grin:
    I'm thinking of getting those retractable shutters on all of our windows that completely lock the light out.
     
  16. la Principessa

    la Principessa Old School HF Member

    The good witch from the Wizard of Oz! Lol I've always wanted shutters like that. Some can even be controlled by your phone on an alarm.
     
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  17. KathyL

    KathyL Member

    My wife and I are older people. We like to hold hands in public. She particularly likes it when we get dirty looks, so she can give them the evil eye. :smilingimp:

    I have never had a problem with men either hitting on me or dropping me when I don't show interest. The men I know know they wouldn't have a chance. If we are friends, it is for another reason.
     
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