So, like, yeah. I've been noticing some things, like text messages and emails and things of that nature. I've been noticing how my reaction to certain messages is different depending on how long it takes for me to receive a response. Also it depends on how recent things were. For instance, I keep a couple of conversations in my phone. In particular, I keep one conversation going, I haven't deleted anything in a very long time, like years. It's a 400 something message conversation. I was noticing how certain messages affected me when they were received, versus now. I also recently reconnected on skype and there's an old conversation on there that I really didn't realize was so amazing, because I was in it. A year or more later, I'm completely amazed by that conversation. This used to be the thing with letters, but I've lost every letter that was ever written to me at this point. In some cases a message seems more amazing because of the urgency of waiting for the next moment, next response. Other times the conversation is more amazing because it happened so long ago and I can see it in a new light. Okay, that's it. Just needed to get that out. I'm going to try to find a song that will make me cry now.
You have great insight into a lot of things most people overlook. Until now, I haven't thought about that. I hope the music makes you feel better
I feel fine, I just really want to cry, like as a release. It's good energy, but I need to get sad enough to release it...in that way...if that makes sense. Basically I realized how special a couple of my friends are. One because I was kinda downplaying my connection because we hadn't talked a ton recently and I forgot how strong of a connection we had. It felt so easy and natural in the moment, that I didn't realize how much depth there was to it, until I rediscovered that conversation. With my other friend, I realize how the way I felt about him, was more the way I feel about him and not as much about the messages, because the simplest things would mean such a big deal for me in the moment, because I was anticipating the response and then...looking back on it, it's like...our connection is so much more in person, but it also makes me appreciate him more because we've kept in touch for so long and I haven't seen him in forever so it's like...hmm, according to these messages we don't have much to say to each other, but because we've been making the effort for so long, it's really special. And we've never been upset with each other or anything like that and we're very honest and clear about how we feel about each other. Just reminds me of the kind of energy and kind of people I want in my life. Thanks for responding wcw.
