Embarrassing facts about yourself

I used to be addicted to oxys. My sister got me into shooting it up for a while, and I was very depressed. My boyfriend used to cry because he was so worried about me and he helped me stop. Now we're happier than ever. But it's still embarrassing that this ever happened.

Actually it's almost a year since I quit. What's really embarrassing is he helped me hide the trackmarks when I was going to spend Thanksgiving weekend with his family.

 

I was sexually abused when I was younger. I never told anybody about it, not even my close family members. It wasn't as bad as it could have been and I know many children have had it much worse. I'd like to think it didn't change me at all, but I feel that it had some lasting impacts. It may have made me a bit more socially awkward, but I'm pretty sure it made me very homophobic up into college graduation. I'm not homophobic as much any more, because I know some really cool people who are gay. Most of them said that
For much of their life they tried to be strait but couldn't. Living in denial. Still I wouldn't mind finding my abuser and doing horrible things to him.

 

short attention span

 

i used to be a druggy... it's embarrassing to me.

 

Me too. Until I overdosed and never touched another drug again except for weed.

I still battle the addiction every day. It sucks and barely any of my friends now know the person I was then. There's a hole in my life history that is that dark period.

 

i can't escape the person people still think i am... the jester

"let's watch him fuck up his life for amusement value"

people can be vicarious

and peer pressure can be a powerful thing.

 

I tend to lack empathy a lot of the time. It's something I try to work on as I catch myself doing it.

 

Yeah...I have some friends who don't know about that period of my life..I feel like it wouldn't make sense to bring up and it would just make me look bad.

 

I'm not sure that's embarrassing. Sad and scary, though.

Your sister should be embarrassed. Or ashamed. Or lots of both. And sounds like he's a pretty good guy.

 

I don't think I know this story, and I didn't think you took any drugs.

Do tell?

 

I've never took any drugs in my life expect weed

 

I fucked your mom...and I liked it.

 

I just caught my bro masturbating, I was going downstairs in the basement to wash my clothes, and he ran into the bathroom. Funny thing is that he's suppose to be at work.

 

Haha. That is the funniest "embarrassing fact" posted here in some time!

Sticking to the 'past drugs usage' theme:

Embarrassing Fact: I have spent more time in my 23.5 years of life UNDER the influence of some sort of psychoactive compound than not under the influence.

Of course, I am counting things like antidepressants and antipsychotics, and, being Schizoaffective, I have been medicated on that type of stuff for a LONG time. But a pretty big portion of that time involves more 'recreational' drugs, although I was still prescribed them (things like Ritalin, opioids, various amphetamines, benzos [yuk!!], etc.).

I feel like my 'drug fiending' days have climaxed though, and I am slowly learning to live with being high less. I probably peaked out around this time LAST year when I was taking the following, regularly (daily):

- 300mg Seroquel (quetiapine) antipsychotic
- 50mg Adderall Immediate Release (almost always insufflated!)
- 3mg Klonopin (clonazepam) benzo anti-anxiety
- 300mg Effexor (venlafaxine) 'novel' antidepressant
- 400-600mg Tramadol (8-12 tablets per day) mild opioid
- 400mg Lamictal (lamotrigine) mood stabilizing anti-epilepsy drug
- A solid amount of alcohol (probably 3 drinks per night)

Now I take:

- 7.5mg Zyprexa (olanzapine) antipsychotic- very low dose
- 50mg Vyvanse (dextroamphetamine)- NOT insufflated (!!)- moderate dose
- 1mg Klonopin - stuff makes me tired and feel crappy- eventually will go off
- 2.5mg Suboxone - opioid in place of dangerous amounts of Tramadol- low dose
- 150mg Effexor - cut dose in half

And I don't drink more than literally two drinks per month and I am off Lamictal, and no longer crush up and insufflate any pills. I take everything 'as directed' now.

 

Dude, all of your posts is about drugs, what if you just stop taking ALL.

Everything should be fine

 

I think you must have not read too deeply into any of my posts, because if you did, you would discover that I suffer from a debilitating mental illness called Schizoaffective Bipolar Disorder, which is essentially a combination of Paranoid Schizophrenia and severe Mood Cycling. I have had symptoms of this since age 10. I have gone periods of my life without medication, but 2 out of those 3 times ended with me having to be locked up in a psychiatric hospital.

The other time nearly ended my career as a mathematician, and only by the extreme generosity of my Department Chair, I was allowed to return to work/study.

Unlike some 'mental illnesses' which are hard to define, are actually Personality Disorders, and otherwise do not actually respond to medication, Schizoaffective Disorder (and in turn Schizophrenia and severe Bipolar Disorder), respond well to medication and lifestyle changes (kind of like Diabetes Type II). I made my mind up awhile ago that I would stay on medication because I actually function better on medication than without it. And the side effects, which include mild weight gain and morning tiredness, are easily worth the possibility to live FREE in the world and not face permanent involuntary institutionalization, which would have likely been my fate 50 years ago.

As for any 'recreational' drugs, I will freely admit that I like to feel euphoric or otherwise have my consciousness altered. Again, though, if you look at stats for people with my condition, somewhere between 40 and 60 percent of people have had DOCUMENTED drug/alcohol abuse problems in their lives. The stats are probably higher if you include those who never got so bad that they ended up documented medically as having drug problems.

So, yes, I talk about drugs a lot. But:

1. I know a heck of a lot about the safety, mechanism, and action of drugs and can help people here.
2. I like to talk about drugs and this is a free-speech forum.
3. It helps me to come to terms with my illness to discuss it in the gritty details on this forum. In real life, I don't disclose such things to many people for obvious reasons.
4. Talking about drugs gets my mind off of work/school.

By the way, I am not trying to attack you, although my words may seem terse. I simply am trying (yet again) to educate people who may not know about Schizoaffective Disorder or who think that people cannot function in society with such a disorder, or even worse, think that it doesn't exist (which frankly is insulting to me).

Feel free to ask me any questions to clarify anything I stated.

 

Great! thanks for letting me know about this, I wasn't too sure about Schizoaffective Disorder, but I know my cousin who I never met but lives in London has the same thing.

As long you are taking it safely, and is healthy is all that matters :2thumbsup:

 

you should be embarrassed to say such things.

 

I don't believe in taking drugs like that,because most people who take these drugs end up committing suicide(I used to work in a organization and hear stories and witness friends of friends do this) , or lose their identity (if that makes sense)

 

I'M TOTALLY ANTI DRUG ALWAYS BEEN THAT WAY DRUGS RUIN LIFES, FAMILIES Ii have stories i could share