Ego Loss

^^^^ yeah, i jus didnt know how hard you took it. i went up to +1g on it to get lost in my mind

what about havingego loss in your dreams? i mean, wqhen it starts, you dont know how you got there, and then you try and survive and have fun. but i was in the middle of one of my DEEPEST ego trips, scaring my almost, and i figured it was a drug experience gone horribly wrong at a friends house. i woke up and i was just sleepin. fucked up. and it WAS EGO LOSS. it was the same world ive entered many times before


and everyone knows grnm23 and geockopeli are very informed, props to them for helping us all out!

 

I think I suffered ego loss in my first trip....at Avebury a few weeks ago at the solstice..and it was the thing that started it spiralling into a bad trip................

When it reached the point where I couldnt tell up from down, left from right, sky from ground and I was going slowly away into the scary Zow world of unreality,
I suddenly found I'd lost all my wants, my needs, my desires....I lost my passion about ANYTHING.............I looked at Dan and couldnt muster my feelings of love.....I thought about art and music and found my creative core and desire to create.....gone...........all my goals and ambitions for life all seemed pointless.

I didnt want to go back to camp...I wanted a wee but i couldnt see the point...I didnt want to carry on my holiday and walk the ridgeway......I didnt want ANYTHING........I lost my will to survive and if death had come chasing me I wouldnt have cared.
There was absolutely NOTHING I felt even the slightest bit of interest in and I'd lost all passion in anything about my existence............

I felt like I was nothing.....my soul was nothing but a ball of energy trapped within this physical....a physical form designed to gove it locomotion through realitys world.........................I walked past people and realised that no one really knew me and if I died they wouldnt care.......to all these people I was just another Hippy amongst them all.

Then it scared me............I felt I was just doomed..a ball of energy doomed to drift along this world for the next 70 odd years.....wanting nothing, craving nothing...........doomed to feel no love, no hate, no passion, no fear, no pain, no joy.......................to be unable to feel...ANYTHING. Just drifting....trapped in eternity.

It was horrible.

 

Oooops.that last post was actually me.forgot to sign in!

 

Ego loss- Something I prefer to experience by myself. I was at a rather large social gathering the first time I experienced it and I ended up pissing people off and getting confused wanting to babble on about relatively unimportant things to everyone else that was there. I ended up going to sleep somehow and woke up about who knows how long later and couldnt remember who I was exactly, or where I was and who owned the house, as I had just met the dude that day. He asked me if I was alright and I was like 'yeah, but is there a door in here?' an he was like 'yeah... why you looking for it?' ...'Uhhh... Im not sure, im not crazy, im just a little crazy right now... I have a blunt though but I want to smoke it somewhere else, not here, I think we could be trapped and there's people out that window' I was saying while suspicuosly eyeing "Planet of the Apes" on the TV. So he was like alright follow me, and I managed to follow him outside while everything I saw seemed strangely new and distant at the same time and completely wrong due to relevance issues I was dealing with. So we get outside, and I notice all of a sudden that we have stopped and he's looking at me seemingly bewilederd... "What the fuck?! What the fuck are we doing here?!" I said. My homie was like "(Laughing)We came to smoke a blunt fool! Smoke that blunt or lets go back inside cuz im gonna go back to sleep!". "Yeah I know that (As I pull out the blunt and begin to fumble with it) but thats not it, I mean what the fuck are we doing here, whats the point of all this?! Why do we have life? Theres a reason I know it, and it's all fucked up now, everything's gone wrong, we need to change"


Anyways got 2 go finish this one later....

 

i had a massive trip from what i think was a combination of pot, various pharmacuticals, over submerjance into the study of phiosophy of religions, physhology, and eating way too many mushrooms for my first time. Man, i was really freaked out for a while. well anyway when i calmed down and came back from my "trip", its like i didn't have anymore problems. it was like a moment of clarity where i saw myself and all people as works of art. when we start out as babies we're blank canvas waiting to be painted, and our ego is the paint of our surroundings. but i think ego loss is understanding (or sometimes not understanding but feeling) that you are not the paint but the canvas, and seeing how the manipulation of the paint decides the work of art.