I know there's plenty of topics on this, but I'd really love it if it could all come together here, it's so much easier for me to comprehend everything I'm reading when it's all in one place! I want the dos and the don'ts of anal! I want the truths and the myths! My boyfriend and I kind of attempted it not too long ago.. was it ever painful, oh my God. Perhaps we'll try it again sometime, I think it only happened because I had a shower and explored a bit on my own, noticing it was clean and had no odor, I mentioned this to him and we tried during sex later that day. I mean, I'd like to try a few more times, successfully. (I want to at least get to the point where I've not been in any pain/discomfort, if possible for me.) After that I can decide whether or not it's for me. We're both pretty apprehensive about it, the cleanliness of it and what-not. So yeah!
Hi Fraido. My wife and I have anal sex on a pretty regular basis and my advice is as follows. 1. Relax!!! Don't over think it and just try to be relaxed. (Don't get too anxious about cleanliness either). 2. Lots of lube on him and you. If you think you've put enough on, then add a little bit more. 3. Take it slowly. Let him put the tip of his cock inside you until you get used to the sensation of having a cock in your arse. 4. Try it in the missionary position. We've always found that penetration is easier in that position and not as uncomfortable for the woman as doing it doggy style. The added bonus for you Fraido is that you will see the wonderful satisfied look on his face as he penetrates you. 5. If you don't manage it on that occasion, don't just give up. Anal sex is fantastic for the man and can be fantastic for the woman with the right approach and some tenderness. 6. If you do manage it, then enjoy it!!! Hope this helps Fraido and do keep us informed.
Very few people can have anal without training and preparing for it in advance. You have to work up in size, starting at finger size and gradually increasing as your muscles relax and warm up. Starting with a single finger and working up to two, then three, then an intermediate object like a butt plug while having vaginal sex or while he fingers/eats your pussy can help. Everything should be well-lubricated. Completely cover any object penetrating you with lube, whether it be a finger, toy or penis. Push out during penetration, as if going to the bathroom. This relaxes your anal muscles. When attempting anal sex, have him lie on his back and lower yourself onto his penis so you can control the speed, angle and depth at first. If at any point something hurts it means you are going to fast and aren't warmed up enough yet. Go up to the edge of where it hurts and just stay there a moment then try going further. Back off slightly if it hurts, and keep repeating. Over time you'll warm up and be able to proceed. The more you practice, the easier it will be to develop more conscious muscle control and you'll be able to do it with less warmup. But warmup is still a good idea, even if you require less over time.
Don't feel like you have to. People have watched so much porn now that they think it's commonly done and everyone should like it. I don't think that's the case. It's not for everyone. You should probably try it again and see, but plenty of people have hot sex lives without doing anal.
Of course if you don't like something, there's no reason you should feel obligated to do it. But doing something once without preparing for it and having a bad experience as a result doesn't mean that it's not for you. Done correctly, almost anyone can experience pleasurable sensations from anal penetration.
Thank you cheddarfilibuster! I don't feel obligated to do it, it is something that I'm curious about. However, I was talking to my boyfriend and he made a comment about how he's doing it for me, I told him that I don't want him to do anything that makes him uncomfortable, so we don't have to do it. Not to mention that it just couldn't possibly be too pleasing if he's not into the idea! I have yet to relay any of this information to him, but I will this weekend, and we'll have a good chat about it to really see where we both stand regarding anal!
Fair enough. I do encourage everyone to experiment with anal play on their own even if their partner isn't into it. It's a part of everyone's body that can give them great pleasure and I think it's a good thing to acquaint yourself with it, how it feels, what you need to do to prepare, etc. If it turns out that anal play continues to be something you're interested in, you can always compromise with your boyfriend by wearing a butt plug while doing other sex acts with him, to add the sensations of anal penetration into the mix on a passive level.
Depends on you... if you are naturally loose and can relax, you can probably take an average cock with plenty of lube and warm-up. But if you are tight, can't make yourself relax, or he is thick, you will need to do some anal training first. That usually a man using progressively large plugs in you, leaving them in for a while. Over the course of days or weeks, you'll be able to relax more. My girlfriend got to be able to fist herself in a little over a month.
First is lubrication....If you don't have to worry about him, and are doing it bareback, I recommend Crisco and Albolene. Albolene is a make up remover available at any drug store. It melts at body temperature and stays slippery but is not condom safe. If you are practicing safe sex, i recommend silicone lubes, because they are very slippery and don't dry up as fast. Make sure you put some lubrication deep up inside you, so that it can lubricate his penis from the top as he enters you. I have these little syringes called lube shooters. He will not be entering you in one straight thrust, it will be in pressure cycles. He will press his cock into you a little ways. it will become a bit uncomfortable, so you stop him and hold him there. I usually count to 10. Then you will push him back out for a little bit to relax and try again. Each time he does this, a little more of him will get inside of you without being uncomfortable. At some point you will be waiting for it to become uncomfortable, and he will slide all they way inside you. Hold still and don't freak out. Even though it doesn't hurt, it is a freaky feeling to have so much of him inside you. It feels big and you might have the urge to make him get out. That is OK. Reinsert, and have him go all they way in again, without thrusting. After that he can start pumping and you will be in heaven. A great first time position is to have him stand at the side of the bed. You should lay on your back and put your butt right at the edge of the bed, with your ankles resting on his shoulders. With one hand always on his hip to control his motion, place his penis at your anus. Put both of your hands on his hips and use them to tell him to push in, stop or pull back. This is great because now you can just lay there and relax your body. Breathe deep, relax and let your body take him inside you. Because he is standing, and your hands on his hips, you totally control his penetration, you can stop his penetration instantly. When it hurts, just stop, take a few deep breaths. When your ready, a little pull on his hips and he will eagerly press in. Because he is not supporting his weight, like in missionary, he can carefully control his penetration. Because you are making eye contact, and have you hands on his hips to control his thrusting, this position is better than Doggie style. Cowgirl, riding on top like on a pony, gives you great control, but you have to support your own weight with your legs, and this makes it hard to relax what needs to relax. That said, cowgirl is my favorite position, once i have had him inside me for a while. Good luck,
Thank you everybody, I will put everything you've said into much thought. I'll be honest though, I'd never want to fist my own ass, good gosh!
