I'm so sorry that you had to go through that puddycat. Perhaps you should try praying that might help get you where you need to go. Or not it's up to you.
From what I've read this guy is young? It sounds that way and that the guys you like to date are younger. I like them young myself and it can be a problem because they like to use older women. Just take care of yourself, this guy is a piece of shit and he's not for you. Your man will come to you when the timings right.. Hang in there. Some things are sent to try us! x
Women tend to have self esteem issues and undervalue themselves. Think of yourself as a Goddess and some man will too. My wife is a Goddess. I live to serve her and when we make love I experience transcendence.
unfortunately, most women are incapable of thinking highly of themselves unless they have a significant other; then they do generally see themselves as goddesses. or maybe that's not unfortunate, because the single women that see themselves as goddesses are generally giant douches and will end up with male giant douches because everyone else is too put off by their attitude.
A woman thinking of herself as a goddess does not mean she should be arrogant, conceited, vain, selfish or ungrateful. A woman thinking of herself as a goddess means having a realistic sense of self, being independent, strong and self sufficient. She should care about her appearance but to look healthy and radiant, not cheap and slutty. It means feeling comfortable with her body, whatever shape or size it is and having confidence that there are decent men out there who will treat her with respect and honesty and affection. It means realizing that her mouth and her vagina are temples and that any man who wants to stick their penis inside these places must act like they are entering the promised land. It means treating their man with compassion, understanding and patience. It means showering her man with smiles and hugs and kisses. It means keeping her home comfy and inviting, it means not playing games or being manipulative, it means not being materialistic or shallow or superficial. it means being intelligent, thoughtful and open minded. In short it means a woman should behave in a way that a good man will be happy to be around her, to bask in her glow and and that man will naturallly want to dedicate themselves to giving back faith, love and devotion. That's what being a goddess means.