I feel like I'm drifting away from my family. I feel like there are things I can't tell them regarding my life for fear of reactions ranging from outright disapproval to them simply not getting it. I acknowledge that I've been, for the most part, phenomenally lucky. I'm a body-typical heterosexual cisgendered man born to a progressive middle class east coast family that loves me, but there are certain things we can't talk about. They outright disapprove of my drug use, they don't understand the non-binary gender identities of my housemates, I'm politically WAAY to their left (which is saying something), and I kind of lack the patience to explain what the world looks like through my eyes. This has led to a seemingly insoluble predicament, where my family desperately wants to touch base with me, but any honest response leads to such a plethora of questions that I rapidly become frustrated, contributing to their worries regarding my mental health. This compounds the problem, because each interaction raises the perceived stakes. I had lunch with my dad yesterday. I couldn't relax the entire time. Unbeknownst to him, our table in the food court was a chess board; I kept trying to guess his strategy, figure out what piece of information he was trying to extract. We talked about my job search and ways to make it more efficient. The conversation did not stray from that subject, but he noticed that I was on edge; he was visibly distressed by this. What can I do to be more relaxed when interacting with my family? What can I do to get them to worry less, short of abandoning a mode of living which allows me to be happy?
Unless your family are abusive control freaks (Which by the sounds of it they are'nt?)I would just simply be happy and relax.Sounds like you are quite an anxious person,so.......first start by caring for yourself.Practice some mindfulness/meditation,get some form of exercise,and focus on your breathing.Then.....just accept that your family are who they are,and you are who you are.try not to overthink everything.Example?The time you spent with your father yesterday.Instead of analysing him during lunch,you would of been better off truly listening to what he had to say (And I mean "truly"listening,not being aware of your own thoughts/judgements)observing the surrounding area to where you were sitting,focussing on the food and drinks you consumed,and maybe cracked the odd joke here and there! Start enjoying your life,and lighten the load.Best wishes xx
You have good parents.. Your children are just that, yours, you see its natural to worry about your kids, you invite them into the world, most parents see them as kids always, just like you always see them as parents. They will always worry about you, as yog said, you sound an anxious person, try to relax more around your folk, talk about stuff that stops them worrying, like when you were a kid...memories. I would worry myself sick about you and your Anxiety's, maybe that's what they worry about? They sound like good people who probably really don't give a shit about the rest..apart from drugs...now what parent wouldn't? P's, your not drifting away, its a natural progression
