Double Standards

i wouldnt worry what other people say. they are just immature and jilted/jaded. any sane person can tell by looking into your eyes that you are a wondeful, fun, and yes, wholesome girl. everyone likes sex.

 

Aaaaaw, thank you stranger! So how about those orgy plans?? ;-)

 

i am sorry to hear that you took that comment of your ex so heartedly. YOu are completely right there is a huge double standard that exists among the genders in the society we live in.
First thing I have to say is that you dont need to take the opinion of an ex too heartedly, remember there is a reason why he is an ex... so dont give him too much credit I am pretty sure that his comment was meant to hurt your feelings. The best thing you can do is not let it get to you. If you take it personally you let him win, if you let it slide by and dont think any of it, you won on the other hand.
Now back to society, and the double standard... it's stupid, a guy's a stud if he gets laid a lot but girls have the same urges the same desires and the same itch down there, are they worse person for persuing them? Hell no! If you like casual sex, group sex, orgies whatever, or if you are into masturbation marathon... well as far as I am concerned it doesnt define your personality. I personally enjoy girls that are natural and honnest with themselves, the ones that actually have the self confidence to be who they are and just say the hell with society. Be more confident in yourself and as long as you feel you can look at yourself in the mirror the opinion of an ex will never bother you again.

Greg

 

There is a double standard, but as feminism takes over, less and less of the pro-male side of it is around, but the pro-female stuff is still there. If being the one in control of every relationship yr in isn't good enough for you, you can also get into clubs with yr tits, cry in public (again, to get into clubs) and undermine men's body image on TV without anyone complaining. (Imagine if, for every small dick joke, there were guys on TV taking the piss out of women's massive bucketpussies and floor-scraping dangling flaps.)

 

I am going to get so much shit for this, but men act the way they do because we as women let them. If we made them take responsibilty and kept our legs closed untill they proved worthiness they wouldn't act like horny little teenage boys. If a man who didn't value women stopped getting sex I am sure his opinions on the female gender would change.

 

That or he'd become a rapist.

 

There are multiple reasons for this. The first is that our culture is still plagued by the ghosts of the past. Once upon a time women were expected to be chaste. Even in marriage they were expected to see sex as a "duty" and not as something enjoyable in its own right. We've come a long way since then but we're still dragging a bit of the old baggage around.

The second reason has to do with the role that sex plays in male-female relationships. Girls want guys and guys want girls. A girl who is interested in sex will have no trouble finding a guy to give it to her. This creates a problem for other girls because it creates the threat of their boyfriends cheating on them with this girl. Therefore girls tend to feel threatened by other females whose criteria for agreeing to sex is not as involved as theirs are.

The third reason has to do with guys. You see guys want a girl who will have sex with them, but not with anyone else. A girl who will have sex with them AND with everyone else is not a wise choice as a breeding partner, and lets face it all of our instincts when it comes to sex are about finding the best breeding partner. So while a guy might sleep with a girl who is promiscuous, he'll never commit to her.

Add all this up and you've got a really screwed up situation. Not only do you have the double standard you speak of, but you've also got the base reason why guys pursue girls and girls wait to be asked.

I don't see this ever changing because it is a direct outcome of the basic instincts that we are all born with.

As for your situation, your ex is a lying asshole. If you were sleeping with him as part of a committed relationship, then not only are not NOT a slut, you are in fact the opposite of one. Some guys are just idiot assholes to begin with. There are guys out there who like to pretend to themselves that their girlfriends were somehow virgins before they came along. The idea that she's ever had any other relationships is something they just can't deal with. It sounds to me like you wound up with one of those nimrods. Guys like that are losers.

The real problem in our culture is not that "sluts" are denigrated, but that the mere accusation that a girl is one is enough to label her as one without any proof one way or the other. When a girl is so labeled she'll be attacked by both guys and other girls for all the reasons I've already described.

I think about the only recourse you have when a guy says that about you is to suggest that he's sexually impotent. That either he can't get it up, or that he doesn't know what to do with it when it is up. Tell people that he wasn't interested in you when you were together and that he actually avoided being sexual with you. Basically make him look like he's not interested in sex and might be possibly gay. If he's going to lie about you and act like an asshole you can do the same back to him.

Lee

 

i disagree. if two guys were jumping on a trampolene it would be gay and not accpeted. girls can hold eachothers hands and giggle and hug all the time...if me and soem of my guy friends held hands giggled and hugged all the time it would be considered gay.
and guys can be man whores and are not looked up to because of it. all guys don't think you're cool the more people you sleep with, thats a jock locker room stereotype.

 

Yeah, generally girls are only called sluts if they go with guys who are beneath them, and while guys are generally less negative about promiscuity, I know the guys on my floor think I'm a bit of a slut cuz I went with a guy who really shouldn't have been able to get me.

Have you considered the possibility that girls are just bastards?

 

Everyone, male and female should be selectively and safely
promiscuous for a time. How else will you discover what and
who you like? Pagans honored children conceived in exuberance
at festival time, called merry begots. I'm not advocating any
of you begoting out there but don't feel guilty about natural
urges and don't let anyone calling you names have any power
over you. If they're cruel, who cares what they think.

 

Well you get off easy. All a girl has to do is cry rape and the guy gets taken care of in court.

 

Where are these girls you speak of?

Cuse I know I aint' never met any easy girls in my entire life dang namit!

I only get dates with girls that require more maintenance than a ferrari...