Don't Sell Your Mother's or Father's Memories.

I was once an Appraiser/Valuer. A large proportion of my work consisted of valuing and disposing of the assets of the elderly who were giving up their home and were moving to a retirement facility.Often either the husband or the wife had passed away and the children had decided that mom or dad could no longer live alone. The scenario mostly went like this:

The children would fly in from where ever they lived and then I would be contacted and asked to come to the house/apartment whatever. I would then have a meeting with the surviving spouse and one, two or more of the children. So the kids would ask me to give them a rough idea of the value of the furniture etc and they would then ask me to dispose of what they had decided their mom ... its was mostly the husband/father who had died ... no longer needed. The conversation would go something like this:

Eldest daughter: "So mom we've picked out what you going to need and we're going to ask Jamie to sell the rest. Okay?"

Mom: "Yeeees ... but I want to keep to keep my Mahogany chest of drawers. The one in the main bedroom."

Eldest daughter: "Mom that chest is too big. There won't be space in your cottage. Remember you're going to a place much smaller than this."

Mom: "But my folks gave that to us as a wedding present. I want to keep it."

Second daughter: "Mommy there are built-in closets in your cottage. There'll be plenty of room for your clothes."

Mom: "But ...."

Eldest daughter: "So is that all you want to keep mom?"

Mom: "That table lamp in the corner. I want that too."

Second daughter: "Well if you take that then you can't have the standing lamp. There's not enough room."

Mom: "But your father made that lamp for me just after we got married and ..."

Eldest daughter: "Where will you put it? There just isn't room mom."

And so the children decide what their mother can & cannot have in her "old age" cottage. Her memories are taken away from her and sold off. The children settle her in her new home, heave a sigh of relief then fly back to their own large house or apartment.

In many cases, usually six months or a year later the same children contact me and tell me their mother has died and will I uplift and sell her lounge suite, bed, tv set and the rest of her meager possessions.

Every memory she had of her life with her husband was taken away from her. She had nothing left to live for.

Not all children behave in this way. Make sure you are not one of them.