Don't judge me.

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by Juiceboxx, Oct 8, 2013.

  1. Juiceboxx

    Juiceboxx Guest

    Ok so I'm a 21 year old female & I never had my dad around and then he passed away when I was 12. I always promised myself I would never let it affect me, but I'm attracted to men much older than me & I have a huge daddy fetish. I constantly feel like I'm looking for a mans approval. Is this really who I am & what turns me on, or is it something inside me that lacks having attention from a man all my life? I'm just really confused & trying to figure out what this is and I don't really have anyone else I can talk to comfortably about it.
     
  2. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

    Two issues likely going on here your need for a father and a daddy/little (not incestuous, just a care taking/age play) kink.

    Face the first, or you will get eaten alive in the second.
     
  3. Aerianne

    Aerianne Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Yeah, I'd totally deal with the first one, and until that time, I'd steer clear of the "daddy-type" relationships.

    Maybe you'd like a father figure in your life as a friend but not a sexual partner. Maybe you could try that.
     
  4. FRUITACO

    FRUITACO Member

    Im a dad of 2 beautiful girls. I only see them once a year because one lives in Chicago an the other lives in texas. They live with their mothers. It's They are bascily growin up without their dad. I always wounder how it might affect them. Im not really in their lives. I live in colorado. Anyway, other than te Fetish thing what other things have bothered you growin up without a dad ?
     
  5. morrow

    morrow Visitor

    Might you just like older men? its not uncommon....:daisy:
    Why are you putting them together not having a dad around?
    look at a young guy..what do you like about him..good bad/pro, con..
    do the same with an older guy...i think you might be looking too deep..
    look first..go from there...separate the two...you might be happier..
    good luck to you:2thumbsup:
     
  6. iamsol

    iamsol Member

    All great advice. Read this bc i raised a niece who had almost no contact with her biological dad. Never xonsidered this might come in to play for her. Great that no one judged but simply gave advice.
     
  7. nox_lumen

    nox_lumen Member

    I also grew up without a dad. I never met mine at all. That's not exactly the appeal of older men for me. It's not a daddy aspect I want within a relationship.

    With a single mom big on education and going through finding Mr. Right, I matured fast. Boy's my own age were clueless fumbling idiots with no intellect or sophistication. If that sounds sexist, my opinion of the girls my age who LIKED the idiot boys was just as low. I had a strong sense of how I expected to be treated by a partner, and older men were more likely to get that. The were also able to handle my intellect and keep up in discussions, where many people of my age group couldn't.

    At 21, the boys at the bar are just learning the effects of alcohol and have not, for the most part progressed far from high school mentality. Older men will have on average more composure and at least appear more mature, though many are just better at acting if they are available, at least in my experience. The 40 something can be just as childish as the 20 something when you get to know them a bit better.

    As far as a man's approval? If you are seeking a man, there is a little of wanting to make your partner happy in a healthy relationship anyway. Most of us want to know that we are good in bed and provide comfort and companionship to our lover, and feel bad when we know we do not. A supportive lover, regardless of age, should be proud when you ace a colledge exam or earn a promotion. On the other hand, if you feel the need to restructure your whole life to be his perfect woman, this may not be healthy, and only works short term. Its one thing to be open to his interest, but another to feel you need to abandon yours for his happiness.
     

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