Domestic Chores

some of us choose to not expect the government to educate our children, and don't dump them off on the schools... And now we have the fun fun fun of taking kids to dance class, pottery class, homeschool meetings, not to mention all the record-keeping the government requires us to prove that our kids are getting an adequate education. Some of us just don't really care how clean our house is as long as everyone is healthy and happy and having fun. To some parents it's just more important to build a tower out of blocks or help a kid learn to read than it is to scrub the toilet. If my husband wants clean dishes and I've been busy all day long doing more important things, he knows where the sink is. I ain't no freakin' June Cleaver, b'gawd!

 

My mom and sister did most of it when I was in highschool. Although my dad did a lot of the really shitty (but optional) child-rearing things - taking us to hockey practice, coaching teams, spending hours in the backyard building rinks (often waking up every couple of hours to flood it during a cold snap), driving me and my friends to the next town for extra ice-time, etc.

 

My mother is a neurotic neat-freak, so growing up she did most of the cleaning (my father's work was never good enough). Well, until she divorced him and remarried another neat-freak that is, and he's worse than her. Now they mop the driveway together basking in their mutual craziness...

Other than that, my father was pretty much the domestic. My mother is also a workaholic so my father worked as little as possible, trying to give us some sort of balance I guess.


As for my husband and I...neither of us clean much. Our house is always messy. I probably do more around the house than him, but I work a few less hours a week so when I am home alone I am doing laundry or something (lol, I'm usually on hipforums).

 

the way i figure it, once the working partner is off work, remaining chores & childrearing is sharedwork. aside from the all-nighters, which wouldn't be reasonable to hand off to a person whose got to get up at a set time, it's all fair game, then. kai wants a bath? dave can run it for her. baby's crying, he can hold her.

 

in the spirit of humor...

>Subject: Being supportive as they grow older.....
>
>
>It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes
>harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they
>were younger.
>When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are
>oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.
>
>My name is Ron......Let me relate how I handled the situation with my
wife,
>Julie.
>
>When I took "early retirement" last year, it became necessary for Julie to
>get a full-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits
that
>we needed.
>
>Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her
>age. I usually get home from the golf course about the same time she gets
>home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says
>she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't
>yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when
she
>gets dinner on the table.
>I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is
not
>reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked grub when I hit that door.
>
>She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not
>unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do
>what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that
>they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it
does
>seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
>
>Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say
>that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the
>monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or
>worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it
>out
>over two or even three days.
>That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing
>lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I
>mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
>
>When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods.
She
>had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try
>not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice,
big,
>cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as
>long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me
too.
>
>I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Julie.
>I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy.
>
>Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible!
>Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
>
>However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism
>of
>your aging wife because of this article, I will
>consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on
this
>earth to help each other...
>
>Signed, Ron
>
>EDITOR'S NOTE: Ron died suddenly on October 3rd. He was found with a
>Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha golf club rammed up his ass. His
>wife Julie was arrested, but the all-woman jury accepted her defense that
>he
>had accidentally sat down on it very suddenly

 

Ron is Greasy Tony and a few others here in about 40 years.

 

sounds like my dad, actually. i've known a couple of these guys. they're pretty funny.

 

my husband's grandfather just retired, and when he did, he had to take over all the cooking and stuff for grandma. he'd joke "she retired, i just changed jobs." but bless her heart, her mind is going. it's pretty sad. any humor you can find is good, i think. it started with her cooking dinner and forgetting that she was cooking anything. so he took over that first. it just sorta evolved into this.

 

A lot of men from that generation don't really understand that they are capable of actyually turning on an oven, or a burner, or even working a washing machine. Many of them were taken care of until the day they married, and then taken care of by their wives. My mother swears one of her brother in laws is so clueless about cooking and home keeping that if his wife were to suddenly die, he'd starve to death in his Barcalounger, yelling for her to bring him something to eat.

Both my dad and my dh can take care of themselves, if need be.

That was great of your grandpa to help out your grandma when she was sick. It's nice to see couples still loving each other after so many years.

 

they're so precious. he's probably the hardest working man i've ever seen. taught himself to be a mechanice during WWII on his dad's farm, since they couldn't get parts for their machinery. max could run circles around dave until last year, when he had to have heart surgery, and dave's pretty hard working, too.

 

When I was a young child, my mom did do most of the housework. Then, as she started working and the kids got less demanding, We, along with my father, began picking up the slack (everyone did their own laundry (she split theirs and they'd each do it every other time), any given household chore was done about 50% of the time by one of us, but she'd still have to do it the other half)

Now, as I've gotten older, and delved deep into the relationship territory where I share chores with my own dear one, I realize another side of this: the "gross" threshold. It seems to me that most women just can't stand it just that litttle bit sooner than most men. We'll usually wait to do dishes, clean bathrooms, etc. until we just can't stand it anymore, which usually comes sooner for me. However, as far as laundry goes it's all him (he's the one with only two sets of work clothes).

 

Bear can take care of himself, with the exception of that newfangled frontloading, high efficiency washing machine. The man is an ENGINEER! Can't work the washer. *sigh* Keeps asking me why he can't do it the way you used to work the old top loading, non electronic, prebells and whistles machines. BECAUSE YOU CAN'T and you'll kill a $900.00 washing machine! *sigh* So, he has to wait until I get to it. Luckily the man has more clothes than a 7 year old's Barbie doll.

 

i worked for a company that designed fire sprinkler systems. we had 5 engineers in that office that couldn't work a photo copier, much less take it apart to figure out why it was jammed. sheesh. dave's a handy sort, he can figure out a lotta stuff, which is lucky, because i'm a mechanics idiot.

 

Bear can't work the Remote or his cell phone, either. I think he just doesn't take the time to learn,and it's easier to let me do it. Can't get his voice mail, after 4 years.

Gotta love a big bear who needs his mama.

 

i'm just glad that vcrs are basically obslolete. I dont think anyones ever figured out how to get the "12:00" to stop blinking, let alone how to ever program the freaking thing.

 

I can........ I read directions...........

 

My Grandfathers and Dad were/ are proficiently self sufficient.
We kids were raised likewise w/ample opportunity for practice while still at Home.

Wish I'd been paid ($$$) for every female I've 'helped' in the finer points of Housekeeping... *s*

~~~~~

Let's not speak of home programmable devices...... appears Work keeps me crispy (burned out).

 

I'd say my parents' share of work is pretty even. My mom keeps the front of the house (the living room, dining room, and kitchen) neat (she cleans every day, so it's never that big of a chore), my dad cooks and does dishes, I'm expected to clean the main bathroom, and my brother's expected to take care of the animals (make sure they have food and water and change the kitty litter). Dad also vacuums when the house is in need of a good sweep. My house is insanely neat if you can imagine...lol.

 

My mom does everything. Even when my dad doesn't have a job (and he can never hold a job), my mom has to do all the household stuff (she's had the same job for over twenty years). When my dad is "between jobs" he just sits around buying and selling on ebay or watching TV all day, then acts like working on his race car is so important and if he needs help with something on it, everyone (my mom and brother, that is.) has to drop what their doing to help him. (racing is a stupid waste of time and is just one more pointless thing polluting the environment).
I just have to feed the dogs in the morning and sometimes my mom pays me to do other stuff. My mom is always wanting me and my brother to help out with the house more, so I'm going to see if my chore to help around the house can just be to take stuff to the recycling dropoff, since no one else in my family cares enough to recycle. (even though my dad always bitches if the garbage can fills up to fast. WTF?)

 

My mom takes care of domestic chores. My dad earns the bread. I fix broken things when I am home and throw out the garbage, its as simple as that.
Except in the weekends when my dad ends up doing everything.