I admit, I've been guilty of compartmentalizing in the past. To wit: I had vanilla sex with my SOs and saved the kinky shit for one night stands or hookers. I've even been accused of having a virgin-whore complex, although I think my partners had a part in the blame. ------------- But this chick seems to be different! Last night, I fucked my girl in the ass propped up against the window sill with curtains drawn, spanked it until it was red, and came in her mouth for the first time! :2thumbsup: She said she loved it and we snowballed afterwards before she swallowed. I've been masturbating furiously ever since she left my apartment because it was so hot. ----------- In light of my past experiences, I came to the conclusion that relationships can never be fixed. They have to be subject to constant experimentation and risk. Predictable sex stops it right in its tracks. So, 4 months into our relationship I decided that I'm going to treat her like a street whore or lose her. :biggrin: ------- Do you do with your SO everything you'd do with the skankiest street whore? Why or why not? Thanks.
No I don't, purely because I wouldn't desire to be in fluid contact with the "skankiest street whore". But yes, I find experimentation important, always finding ways to keep things fresh and doing stuff neither of you have imagined doing before. So far, I have gotten my girlfriend to lick my ass, fucked her in public, fucked her in the ass and given her facial cumshots (she appears to be enjoying all of the above, by the way). I really don't get it when people post things like they've been married for 10 years and have yet to ask their wives to give them a blowjob. But then again I would never marry a really conservative person either. You get what you order, plain and simple.
Or you can conclude that if you feel like a relationship has to be fixed all the time, that you should actually form a new one. -- A real one with love and commitment -- you know, with someone new and leave the old people. (having sex with a skanky street whore, that's smart) And what the hell is vanilla sex?
That's not it. He could have left out the skanky street whores, but the point to me is that I'm fairly sure any person would prefer to have a variety of things to do with their partner outside of the bedroom, see the world and experiment new fascinating things. The same should probably apply IN the bedroom if you don't want to risk the relationship going stale, and then wonder why one (or both) of the partners start seeking for greener pastures. When you're talking about "finding someone new and leaving the old people", it's exactly about that. Vanilla sex is plain and regular, boring sex without experimenting. Having your sex life limited to lovey dovey vaginal intercourse in missionary position, etc. Not to say that lovey dovey missionary is bad at all, but once in a while it's good to try something different. Adventurous sex can go a long way in strengthening that "love and commitment".
Both my "long-term" relationships were ones where boundaries were pushed. I believe it takes time for sufficient trust to develop between two people to enable them to be able to go to certain levels beyond "normal" sexually. My shorter encounters (flings and 1-niters) tended to be ones of more orthodox behaviors.
Yes, and no. For instance, I'm already much more sexually adventurous with my current SO than I was in the 3-year live-in relationship I had with my ex. It's true that I was already much more sexually self-actualized when I started my current relationship than I had been when I hooked up with my ex. My current level of sexual experience does make a difference, I feel. But the main reason was she made me so claustrophobic and sexually repressed. She (ex) later said, when we were breaking up, that what she regretted most was the fact that we hadn't experimented sexually. I thought to myself, "Hmm, that's funny. If everytime I brought up my fantasies you had to have a jealousy fit and control it even though I've never cheated on you. How the hell am I supposed to have had anything other than mish sex with ya?" But I held my tongue... Also, anonimity and casualness can be a great impulse to sexual experimentation. In fact, it is for me. I don't think I could have the great sex I'm having with my current SO if we weren't allowed to experiment with other people. ----------- Edit: I don't think time is a good measure of intimacy. At all.
Mhm, I got you. I think I misinterpreted it the first time I read it. I kind of fault the woman for that though -- you can be sincerely in love and a good girl outside of the bedroom and be dirty and hot in the bedroom -- it doesn't have to be a bore. If a woman isn't content with 'vanilla sex' then she's going to demand more. I guess I'm more aggressive that way. So, what I'm now reading, the OP finally found someone he can have the best of both worlds with and be in a relationship. -thanks. HOWEVER, I will add, that I have encountered with the men in my life, an insecurity that they just couldn't accept that, yes I was in love with them (whoever at that time) and be faithful and yet be ravenous sexually and be as dirty as I want with them -- without them thinking I was a whore. Which, I'm truly not and never was, I'm a good woman, just love sex...(with someone in a relationship) So, I don't understand guys thinking in that area. Be boring in bed. so you think I'm faithful?
I don't understand those guys either. In fact, I don't understand anyone that is into "slut shaming", full stop. It just reveals their own insecurities and makes it harder for guys like me to distance myself from those views. I love dirty girls, as I'm not preoccupied with worrying about a girl having more experience than I do. My girlfriend is a classic "good girl" turned dirty in the bedroom (or outside of it, at times). A really great combo, I'd say.
With my previous girlfriends, I didn't express my desires. Fear of rejection, lack of confidence, I dunno. The sex became predictable and boring, and I completely lost interest. In the years of being single between then and until meeting my current girlfriend, I gained a lot of experience and confidence. As a result, I've been much more relaxed about what we do, which has been a fucking blessing because she enjoys a lot of the stuff I enjoy, something I'd have never found out if I was too much of a pussy to do those things in the first place.
I have to ask though. When you say that some men seem to think of you as a "whore" when you get all dirty in bed with them, are you sure that it's not just been dirty talk? You know, terms like slut and whore can also be used as a part of sexual roleplay without the intention to denote anything negative. Or did they actually think less of you after that? Because to me it seems quite strange to complain about getting good sex. Oh well, if they're that insecure, they can always go and marry a nice conservative lady that will only have sex with the lights off in the missionary position.
I'm at my kinkiest with my husband. He doesn't share the same kinks as myself and isn't into many of the things I'd like to try at least once, but I share them with him first, before doing it with other men (ours is an open relationship). Since we had our turning point, he's trying some of that stuff and enjoying some of them. And I find it good. He knows he can try anything he wants with me. If I really don't like it, we'll probably not repeat it, but he still can do it with other women. Up to now, he hasn't done to me anything I wouldn't wanna do again. On the contrary.
No it was their attitude within the relationship. Mentioning how much I like sex so they thought I couldn't be trusted or --- when the one was no longer in the mood mentioned that he didn't like that sexual side of me -- it was clearly insecurities. I'm a good woman -- but dirty in bed -- a man doesn't have to be insecure with me, just fuck me right. Actually, from my heart, if the sex was bad, I'd still be faithful. Pissed off, but faithful. Oh, and I'd never complain about getting called whore or slut in bed, I like it
I see. Well like I said if they "don't like the sexual side of a woman", they can go and marry a conservative lady and end up complaining on sex forums about what they wish their wife would do. I will sometimes call my girlfriend a "dirty little slut" or something to that effect in bed, when we are in the right mood and in the middle of some kinky sexual act, and she likes it. I love her very much though and would never use the s-word in any other context. She is my slut, willing to do anything to please me, if that makes sense
