Does this seem creepy to any of you?

I had a "soul mate" once. She moved to California, I could have gone with her but I didn't because I'm an idiot. I decided to finish college instead like good suburbanite spawn should do. We weren't "going out" we didn't have an especially sexual relationship, and neither of us wanted one. We did make out a lot, but it very calm and peaceful and gentle, not all horny and sweaty. We spent alot of time telling each other stories, or just sit and listen to music barely touching for hours. It was as if we didn't need to talk we could connect somehow on a differnt level I guess. There really isn't a good way to describe it.
Here is the maybe creey part. This was four years ago that she went to California, I have not seen her since. I should have "moved on" by now but I can't stop thinking about her. I wrote this poem awhile back. I think that I may have posted here someplace but I'm not sure where. So is this creepy or not.


I we? sit silently eyes closed
touching barely fingertips and tips of fingers
Music maybe but no words only music softly touching fingertips touching fingertips touching hands
but not moving mine alone
each moves the other moves the self
both in time together but alone neither
fingertips alone touch the air touch nothing feel the void
fingertips together touch fingertips
together touch hands touch arms
Fingertips trace shoulders
Fingertips trace faces
Two faces facing faces eyes closed
Fingertips gently
Touching soft bellies naked breathing
Fingertips touching warmth
Sharing warmth glow brighter than with eyes open
Sharing life sharing energy; calm
Fingertips barely touching fingertips
Touching chests heave gently slowly steady
Fingertips feel heartbeats peaceful
Two faces facing faces
Two bellies, chests, heartbeats
Safe here
Fingertips touching fingertips
Touching minds touching souls
Two faces eyes closed
Two souls eyes open

 

not...

it is real

 

no, it's not creepy at all that you still have feelings for her. when there is someone that special in your life and you lose touch with them so suddenly, it is hard to have closure or move on. have you ever tried to contact her since she moved? do you guys still talk? perhaps if you were able to get ahold of her and tell her the things you're feeling, you'd be able to, if nothing else, feel a sense of closure. you may even be able to talk to her, catch up, and resume your friendship with her! now, you say you feel like an idiot for staying and going to college. DO NOT feel like an idiot for choosing any path in life, especially school. going to school doesn't make you a suburbanite schill...it makes you an intellectual who is trying to better themselves! i would try to get ahold of your friend and touch base with her and see how she's doing. that might help you feel better about the whole thing.

i met my first love in junior year of high school, and our relationship was a lot like how you described above...not very sexual, but we had a very, very close connection and i do believe he was one of my soul mates. it was a very special love, and it took me YEARS to get over him, so you're not a freak for still missing her. the only thing that made me stop missing MY first soul mate was finally accepting the fact that we were both meant to go on different paths. soul mates will always be a part of your heart, but sometimes you go in different directions. and when you do, it's not easy to move on.

i wish you the best of luck and the best of love

 

yeah man, that's a little creepy. did you eat paint chips as a child?

 

did you?
evidently you know the after effects.

 

Well I thought that the paint eating comment was kind of funny. Anyhow, no I did not eat paint, though I did enjoy peeling paint off the walls as a child and may have unintentionally ingested some of it.

But seriously folks. The problem is that I have no idea where she is and how to get in touch with her. Last I heard she was in the Grass valley area of California, but that is not very helpful and was three and a half years ago (roughly).

 

haha i used to pill the paint off the bathroom walls in school

so you don't any of her family that may help you find her?

 

if you don't know any of her family or anyone who could help you get in touch with her, i advise that you write her a letter. even if you can't send it to her, maybe putting it down in writing how you feel and how you still haven't forgotten about her might help you get some closure. have you tried looking her up in the white pages? good luck!

 

Find her.

 

Reminds me of Silent Bob in "Chasing Amy"

 

I met her family onec about four and a half years ago, they live in Cincinnati. That is all that I know. Oh yeah, and their last name is Montgomery. So much for that idea.

I don't think that I saw that movie . Come to think of it, that is the only Kevin Smith movie that I haven't seen.

 

have you seen the movie before sunset?

maybe the universe will put you back into each other's lifes sometime.

 

Id say forget about her, shes probably got a new bf cause most girls do. It seems that girls cant live a day without one and will gladly take whatever flies there way.

Forget her shes probably with some loser guy who steals or does meth/crack, and can't support himself

 

NO, it is not creepy. You are in love with her. And it is my opinon that you should at least try to find her and express this feeling to her. If it is meant to be it will be. Obviously it was not meant to be that you move on, so something else is going on here. Maybe she has not moved on either. At least try. You never know until you try. If she is already taken, then you can know that you should move on. Perhaps I'm overly optimistic, because I waited for my boyfriend. But it worked out in the end and we've been together for 4 years. Even though I had to wait until he was ready. Good luck.

 

Of course, it's not creepy. You're in love. That's pretty obvious by your poem. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. I know this from experience. I'm in the 20th year of a long-distance relationship. My partner and I are lucky if we get to see each other four times a year. Because we can spend only a limited time with each other, the time we do spend together becomes that much more precious.

Do you know where your sweetie lives in California? If you do, it certainly can't hurt to end the long silence between you two.

Good luck,
Skeeter