Does anyone else find it hard coming out as bi?

Is there a need to say anything?

 

No one's concern really. It's ask me and I'll tell you type of question and I'll be honest with you depending on who you are.

 

"Hard coming out as bi?"........I'm completely comfortable being bisexual and I haven't felt any need to announce it. Nobody's business. Why is "coming out" thought to be important?

 

Yep mostly for my grandpa trying to not drop that bomb on him but otherwise I mind my biz and only tell people when they ask or they see me kissing my boyfriend (very rare for me or him to do pda) it’s kinda funny because good friends will see him kiss me or sit on my lap and go cross eyed like they got hit with a brick lmao most people don’t care the ones that do call me slurs and I beat them up or tell them to fuck off

 

It’s assumed your a productive member of society unless told so why is being gay any different? You may not care but they are obviously dealing with some insecurity and need comparisons from other people

 

No need to announce anything. It's a personal thing. The older I get, the less I worry about it, but most friends and family still do not know. I don't flaunt it, and I'm careful when I check out men in public

 

I guess for someone who has always been straight or been seen in straight relationships who has now hooked up, or dating someone of the same sex it might be a surprise to family and friends.

Coming out is not like a thing where you publicly announce it at a public ceremony is it? I hereby declare I am bi and get a certificate to prove to the non believers.

The majority are straight and society has promoted that.

My understanding of Bi is some people may chose to go between same sex relationships and opposite sex relationship, or have done.

Some like the chick on page one started dating women after a divorce. Was she No before she dated a woman or it just felt right at that point.

Someone who is hooking up with both sexes or participating in Bi sexual activities with one or multiple partners can do what they like. If it's in the bedroom and kept private no need for a declaration.

I would try bi, I would hookup with a guy for the experience but I would like that to be discreet. Nothing of anyone else business of I have sex with someone.

If I try sex with a guy is it gay sex? Bi sex or am I just Kinky or curious sexual exploration?

I don't care really, if it happens and it repeats then it's going to be one of the first 2 .

If I start having sex with guys and relationships with women I guess that Bisexual.

What's Gay in denial, if you do both I think it's No and it's your business.

 

Shayla,

Sorry for calling you Chick on page one, I was in a rant and thought I would lose my post if I scrolled back.

I've known married people who later partnered permanently with the same sex.
I don't know if that's Bi or Gay but who cares.

You are who you are now and you are what you are while you are with that person.

 

Is there really a reason for "Coming-Out" as bisexual? If you are married I get it, telling her but does anyone outside your immediate relationship really need to know? I keep my bisexuality to those who know me and have sex with me. I tell nobody else unless I feel there is a possibility of a sexual encounter that could take place between the two of us. He needs a blow job, sure bud, I'll suck you off. It's between him and I. If he wishes to tell, it's on him and I've had several that told their buds and guess what?....I sucked them off too. I think people make too much of the subject of a guy sucking off another guys cock. Yeah, OK, so what. I sucked him off or he sucked me off. It's a simple task to help out the needs of another in need.

 

With the exception of one serious relationship with a woman 2016-2019, I have been single since 1992, when my first girlfriend broke up with me when I was 30, which prompted me to discover that I had desires for men and led me to start having sex with them. Since then, I've had tons of anonymous oral sex and some non-anonymous anal sex with men. But I've also dated many women since 1992, but unfortunately none of that led to any sex--which contributed to my MM proclivities--until my second girlfriend in 2016.

Before having sex with her, I told her all about my past with guys, because I felt that she deserved to know, and in fact she then insisted that I get tested, which was only natural (I wonder how many guys honestly do this). But coming out to her was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do, but even though I risked our not getting together and an opportunity for me to have love and sex again with a woman, only my second, I felt like I couldn't not do it. I couldn't stand my imagination of her being very hurt and betrayed if I told her afterwards, sometime down the road.

So I'm single again, and would certainly come out again to any woman before I have sex with her. But until I have a boyfriend, whom I'd want to be open with to everyone because the alternative just seems to be so difficult and dishonest to myself, and him, I don't see any reason to come out to anyone that I have sex with guys. So I agree with almost everyone else in this thread that what I do in the bedroom is my own business. First, I feel that the pain I would cause others in revealing my bisexuality, like my parents, is not worth it with respect to just the casual sex that I engage in. And, second, I think it would be hard for people to understand that at least so far it's just about sex, and maybe some friendship, but not about true homosexual love with respect to men. So far I have never had romantic feelings for any guy, though I fantasize about it all the time. I'd love to have a boyfriend, and sometimes I even fantasize about having a husband, because I believe that love would very much enhance the enjoyment of sex and intimacy and connection. But I don't know whether that will ever happen, or whether I'm even wired for that, so to speak. But in any case, not until if or when that happens, I don't think there is much benefit in my coming out.

I have one corollary to this though: if I'm truly honest with myself, there is a part of me--it's subtle--that may justify my not coming out to others because it thinks that I'm actually not bisexual if I never have romantic feelings for a guy, maybe even that I'm incapable of falling in love with another guy. If that subtle thought is there, I believe it's wrong. My loving to suck, rim, and fuck another guy definitely makes me bisexual.

Nevertheless, I believe there is some benefit in coming out as bisexual while just having casual sex with same-sex partners. And that is, I believe there would be a freeing experience in doing so. I bet you there are all kinds of subtle, and perhaps even more explicit, situations of dishonesty, hiding, and just not living your truth. And that takes energy expending effort, and is difficult.

For example, for 21 years I had nothing but anonymous oral sex with guys, and never felt anything anal with any guy I was naked with, even though in my fantasies I loved everything anal, giving and receiving. But when I finally instantly fell in lust with this one guy's ass in a bathhouse once, in 2013, and attacked his ass with my tongue with a hunger that I've never experienced before, and finally inserted my cock inside another man, I connected not only with him more deeply, but with something deep inside myself, the gay part of myself that in a way I had been repressing, which I believed caused the dissonance during those 21 years (fantasizing about anal but never experiencing desire for it with a real guy; and in fact with a majority of the guys I was having oral sex with, I had even lost my attraction and desire for them; but then all my gay desires and fantasies came back at home all the time, driving me out again to look for it with a real guy).

After this first anal encounter, I finally accepted that gay part of myself, and even loved it, and was proud of it. That's the gay pride that the gay community is always talking about. I felt free to finally live and express that gay part of me, still in secret, but openly with other bi and gay guys. I immediately stopped all anonymous sex, and only got together with guys in each other's homes from then on. It was a real freeing experience. When you read stories about people's coming out stories, they express the same thing. So I realize there would be a freeing experience if I came out to everyone.

But in my mind, for myself, this advantage is still not big enough to outweigh the disadvantages. So until I have a boyfriend, only my ex-girlfriend, the three people that she unfortunately told, her now fiancé, and two therapists will know about my bisexuality--except of course anonymously all of you and the bi and gay guys I seek and/or have sex with.

 

We, my wife and I, have a number of gay friends that I wish I had the nerve to come out to, but I can't get up the nerve and I certainly don't have the nerve to tell my wife.

I'm a wuss.

 

You should have a conversation with your "gay" friends and tell them how you feel, what you desire, and if they are interested in full filling your sexual desires. Perhaps one of them could talk to your wife as well. Discussion is everything but can also be damaging. I know my first wife would have never accepted the fact that her husband enjoyed sucking cock but my present wife finds it sexy and erotic as hell. We've sucked cock together hundreds of times and it's solidified our relationship.

 

I'm bi ...........wana chat.....?

 

I often “size-up” guys with whom I come into contact. I picture them nude. I imagine their male antomy. If he is at all attractive to me, I imagine him as being bi-willing.
I do not know what the next step is: eye contact?, strike up a conversation?, offer him a bj?
I am all ears for advice on how to show him that I am sexually interested in him.
What works for you guys with experience?

 

It's so difficult and risky to show a guy you're sexually attracted to him. A lot depends on the situation and location. If it's a work environment - I met a lot of guys at business networking events - it's even tougher. Just be friendly. Be yourself. Yes, eye contact is important. If you are friendly and strike up a conversation and he seems friendly, then maybe a hand on a shoulder is a start. If you're meeting for the first time, it's always easy to suggest grabbing a beer sometime and see how it goes from there.
Now, if you're out at a public park or something, it's totally different. Lots of men casually cruise just to see if there are other friendly guys out there. Safe to be a little more aggressive there I think

 

I've found myself in similar situations, imagining what his anatomy looks like and if I'd have a chance to orally pleasure it. Done it many times yet rarely acted upon it. However, some years back when I would frequent a local pub after work for a couple beers and something to eat I got to know several guys and formed friendships with over the years while visiting the pub. One guy in particular was married as was I and led a conversation into his sexual frustrations with his wife. He wasn't getting the sexual attention he desired and craved. I shared my same feelings but kept my distance at the same time. I wasn't bold enough to offer a proposition, nor was I confident that he would not be accepting to an offer. Some weeks past as we met regularly each Thursday for drinks, food and good conversation when he brought the subject up again while watching a football game at the pub. He actually leaned in close to say something to me on the "downlow" which was "I'm so in need of a blow job...I'm willing to let another guy give me one...Would let another guy suck your dick?"...I was not only pleased to hear him ask this but over joyed to be honest as my heart rate began going wild. I paused for a moment saying nothing...He says "Did you hear me?"...I replied "I heard you, and yes I would and have". Really? he says...How was it?...this conversation went on for about another 30 minutes and I could tell he really wanted a blow job so I just put myself out there with confidence and said "If your needing a blow job I'm more than willing to give you one if your clean and discreate about it". Now he pauses a moment to come back with "OMG, you've listened to me for weeks knowing I am desperate for a blow job and you said nothing". I told him I wasn't sure how he would react to me offering one. We left the pub to the outdoor dining area which was vacant and I gave him a blow job at one of the tables hidden within the shadows of darkness. He dropped his pants so quick and his cock was already semi hard as I dropped to my knees and started sucking him off. In a matter of 5 minutes he stated he was about to cum...I grabbed his ass cheeks and forced his entire cock into my mouth to enjoy him shooting his entire load into my mouth as he held the back of my head down...I swallowed all of his cum as he slowly sat himself back down on the bench as I held a grip on his cock with my mouth to milk every drop he could provide. I sat up next to him as he pulled his pants up and said "How was that?"...He replies, "Dude, my wife never sucked my cock like that and you swallowed my cum". He and I exchanged numbers and for the next 6-7 months I was sucking his cock once or twice a week in a number of places. My advice: Engauge in conversation, take things slow and when it feels comfortable and acceptable make your move. This guy did eventually ask to suck my cock as well but it wasn't something he enjoyed doing but he wanted me to suck his cock which I did for him just about every time we met on Thursday evenings.