does anyone else feel that having sex with another man makes them *more* masculine?

this is something i've been thinking about for a while, but the thought, especially among guys who aren't gay/bi/curious is that being sexual with another man would make them or makes them feminine. i've always felt the exact opposite way; that being sexual with another man makes me feel MORE masculine, not less. all that masculine energy you can only get from two men being intimate with each other. it makes complete sense to me that being with another man sexually makes me feel more masculine.

what do you think?

 

I wouldn't say it makes me feel MORE Masculine, nor Feminine. What it does, is fill a void that has been there since I first discovered that touching certain parts of my body felt good. Better than other parts.
My first thoughts about sex when I started experimenting with masturbation wasn't about women or girls, it was "If it feels good with my hand, what wold it feel like in my mouth." I tried and tried for a long time to suck myself off.
When I found porn magazines, it always made me wonder, why do the girls in those magazines get to put it in their mouths and guys don't?

My first sexual experimentation was with a boy I was friends with, way back in the day. But my first actual sexual experience with with a female. That encounter set a trend. However I never stopped thinking about same sex encounters.
I actually think that taking a man's cock in my mouth actually empowers me, rather than diminishes me. From outside it looks like I am in a submissive position. In reality, I am in the position of either giving him what he wants and needs or not.
Consensual sexual encounters with men and me taking the role of bottom, puts me in control.

 

I think that a lot of guys find that if they have sex with a man, it doesn't make them any less of a man and more so when society likes to hold up "flaming fags" as the worst-case homosexuals who try to be more of a woman than the real thing. Prior to having sex with a guy, there's the fear of being made effeminate and girly and, yeah, it does happen with some guys but, obviously, not all guys but once a guy takes the plunge and realizes that nothing has really changed about him, well, who knew it could be like that - and you weren't going to instantly become a flaming, flamboyant homosexual?
-
I've had sex with guys and the first thing they mention is, "But you're not gay..." and, no, I'm not - but I can have sex like I am so, um, you still want that blowjob? Indeed the only thing that changed about me was having another way to have sex that didn't have anything to do with females - but I wasn't giving up having sex with them because I didn't have to. Some guys say they feel more masculine but I think it's their own "normal" masculinity that gets "amplified" because, again, they have sex with a guy and it didn't change them - just changed how they like to have sex. Still a guy, still very masculine, still likes women and pussy (if bi) and I've always said that it takes some very many guts to have sex with a guy.

Anything else all depends on the individual and what being able to have sex with men means to them or what questions it might answer for them because some guys do have sex with a guy and understand that they're gay and they just proved that their attraction is more about his fellow man than the women in the world. Nice to hang out with, not much good for anything else to a gay man (or so everyone wants to keep thinking but that's a different topic). The real kicker is that they still say, in 2024, that if you have sex with a man, you must be into men and that means you must be gay and effeminate since you're having sex in the female/submissive role by sucking his cock and letting him fuck you and... that's tired-assed bullshit I was hearing way back in 1964 and it's pretty sad that it's still around and fucking with men who wants to answer the question of why he has this urge to have sex with a guy - but he's afraid to because, well, you already know why.

 

That rather depends upon what you're doing; just hooking up, or making love. If the latter, and sex is appreciated as a celebration of male sensuality and male sexuality, it my give you a more acute sense of your masculinity, not the violent, arrogant, entitled, and misanthropic shadow so promoted in our culture, but a masculinity that can comfortably express compassion, kindness, and giving; true masculinity.

P.S. There's nothing wrong with femininity, or feminine energy. If sex makes you feel effeminate or more in touch with your innate feminine side, that's not necessarily a bad thing.

 

It's all "boys being boys." Way back in the late 1960s, women sent men an ultimatum to get in touch with their feminine side. What they meant was for us to stop being emotionally closed off but men, well, we heard this and some of us took it to extremes - and as men are wont to do - and I laugh my ass off thinking that women who told us to get in touch with our inner girl didn't foresee a lot of men literally finding our inner girl and letting her out to play. The sex is what it's always been and can affect our self-perception, i.e., still being male and masculine after the sex is over with or being more in touch with our feminine side. It's all a celebration of male sensuality and sexuality - but since this is about our self-perception as males, we "define" what "being masculine" means to us and we might not all agree with that because of our own self-perception. If I'm on my knees sucking a guy's dick, it doesn't make me any less of a man or minimizes my masculinity - but someone else might say that it does and... I don't remember asking them for their opinion. I know guys who've had the sex and a lot more feminine about it than they were before they had the sex and, again, that's fine because once we have sex with another man, we have to be able to parse it and find out what, if anything, it means to us and how it can affect and/or change us.

It's what I call "eye of the beholder" stuff. I still feel as masculine as I've always felt ever since I got that first taste and feel of cock and cum. Someone else... may not feel so masculine or someone else may feel more masculine and... there is no wrong answer. I understand that sucking cock and being fucked is "a woman's lot in life" but I suck cock and I get fucked and while it's considered to be girly, I'm not a girl. Duh. But the next guy? Maybe he feels more feminine... or more masculine and if you really want to know, ask him - and he just might tell you if you ask nicely. Having sex with a man has never been a woman's thing to own and do and that should be obvious because homosexuals have been doing it all along and bisexuals not all that far behind them. You don't have to be gay to have sex with a man and you don't have to be effeminate but if you are, then you are because that's what this means to you and how it affects you. We see guys who are 100% masculine in their day to day lives and... not so much when it's time to get some dick. I've seen guys that others considered to be feminine in their day-to-day stuff but when their dick gets hard? Seriously masculine when slinging the dick.

It all comes down to what it all means to you and how you feel after you take that first plunge which, again, I still believe takes some manly guts. More masculine, less masculine, no discernable change at all. You alone get to decide how having sex with a man affects you.

 

I don't feel more or less masculine. I'm just having fun and hope the person I'm with is having fun male or female I want the person to have fun. I love going down on men and women.

 

Well spoken, sir! I'm a married total bottom, and taking that part allows me to fully complete my sexuality -- knowing & experiencing how a woman feels when she's lying there getting fucked & filled with the essence of her amorous suitor enhances not just my masculinity but my entire being as a sexual person ...

 

Thanks for that…..you have the best attitude! When I get lucky and find my first topper and he is just entering me, I’ll just say “Go deep and cum hard for as long as you want ….the longer the better “ I’ll try to be as good a bottom for him as he is a top for me. I don’t think I’m going to be thinking male/female…..just how good it feels to have a dick in my ass! By the way, when you have a dick inside you, you actually have two attached to your body. That might make me feel more masculine. Hoping for it to be loads of fun and it will feed my total spirit…not just one aspect. Thanks!✌️

 

A little humor never hurts….

 

Makes me feel more human. Having a connection with another person, seeing that you are giving and recieving pleasure. Never recieved that from women

 

For me it doesn't make me feel any less of a man, but I must admit it brings out the feminine side of my personality especially while be fucked in the ass. When just exchanging blow jobs I feel empowered knowing I am orally satisfying his needs. Either way, I am still a man that enjoys having sex with both men and women. Each sexual experience whether with a man or a woman provides an array of feelings for me, and they are all good.

 

Giving oral is both submissive and dominant. I like being naked on my knees in front of another man, which is submissive, and feeling him get hard in my mouth makes me feel more dominant.

Being able to relax as a bottom for anal makes me feel more of a man. I'm comfortable in my skin and with my sexuality so there's a power in that. It's about control. Going to the bathroom in a house and returning mostly naked requires a certain amount of confidence. Telling someone to spank me is taking charge and then submitting. And so it goes, but yes being by and having sex with men makes me feel more masculine, not less.

 

I agree. There is nothing wrong with femininity. I am a married bi man but enjoy feeling a masculine man assert himself as the man by having anal sex with me and making me feel feminine. Albeit my experiences have been few and far between they have been very enjoyable male bonding experiences

 

Makes me feel more submissive, like I am there to please the person

 

It depends on the male partner.

If he is feminine, I can take on a more masculine role and take good care of his needs. I've met several guys who need lots of affection to bring them to orgasm, and also need closeness after orgasm. I can provide that for feminine men, because I can take charge when called upon.

But if a male partner recognizes my femininity, I love it when he pursues me and takes on that same masculine role. One guy I met at Valley View Hot Springs took care of me for about 8 hours. It was really nice being his naked protected lover for that long, especially in the evening when I felt a bit chilled and he held me close at a group gathering in a luke warm pool.

 

I don’t think masculinity should be tied to sex acts just cause some one takes dick does not make them less of a man or vice versa

 

Once upon a time, masculinity was sure enough tied to act of sex and guys having sex with guys was deemed to be highly unmasculine - and very gay - for guys to be sucking cock and being screwed. This mindset prevailed, from my perspective, until - wait for it - I turned 35 so for 26 years, if you were a guy and you had sex with a guy, you weren't all that masculine and especially if you sucked cock and liked to be fucked - and you were obviously a homosexual. Then, things changed; it was now deemed to be highly masculine to have sex with guys except there was great angst toward "fem-acting" guys (still being misidentified as being homosexual) and unless I'm mistaken, a lot of guys today still want their men to act like men in bed while fem guys, well, their stock has increased but it once begged the question of whether or not it was masculine to put your feminine side on display and there was a time when it was not masculine.

Guys at this time realized something that I - and a lot of guys I personally knew - already knew: Just because we had sex with other dudes didn't mean we were any less masculine and it was my position that it takes a lot of very many guts to have sex with another guy for the first time... and maybe every time after that depending on the guy. The bad part is that there are way too many people who would question your masculinity were it to be discovered that you sucked cock and took it in the ass or, if you're a bottom, well, you must have some sugar in your tank but the top you're sucking - and he's banging your ass into the next zip code - his masculinity wouldn't be questioned all that much since he's in the male/dominant sexual role while bottoms occupy the female/submissive role and put away your knives - I didn't make up these terms because I learned them years ago in biology class.

So, what shouldn't be a consideration is still a consideration because the overall social perception of what it means to be masculine has not changed. I've known first time guys to complain about "feeling girly" while sucking a guy's cock and definitely feeling like that when being screwed and, yeah, you can blame our social norms for that and how being male was defined and how being female was defined and how both sexes were, um, supposed to have sex. We can agree that masculinity shouldn't be tied to sex acts... but people are more of a mind to believe the perception than the truth.

Just my $0.14 worth on this one....

 

For me personally--how I feel--I agree with the OP (@PoetOfDarkness): having sex with other men makes me feel more masculine. As I explore greater and greater aspects of the gay side of my bisexuality, the more masculine I feel. I love equally guys who are effeminate, with twink bodies, or quite masculine and more hairy (but not overly hairy, and not overly aggressive). No matter what, it is that they are still men, no matter what, with all different aspects of masculinity, and I love everything about a man's body and heart. I myself am more of the masculine type. Like others above have said, it is allowing the gay side of myself to freely come up and out and express itself, a significant truth in me, that allows me to feel whole, the complete man that I am. The masculine archetype is power and strength (not that women are not powerful and strong), and that's what I feel living my desire for and with other men. That's where my masculinity is completed. And, my God, does it ever feel great! It brings me great joy and pride, and therefore strength and courage, to feel gay desire and live out that desire (by having sex with another man--oral and/or anal).

And it's weird, because for me it was identifying with this masculinity that helped me realize that I by far prefer men, and at 57 five years ago began identifying as gay rather than bi. I have no interest in having sex with a woman again, though I still find them very attractive, and only have sex with men, have even developed romantic crushes on other guys, and regularly on a weekly basis hang out with lots of other gay men, where I feel totally at home, totally myself, and beautifully masculine. What this masculinity I feel is is a personal experience that I can't quite convey in words. It's just how I feel. And it feels like nature's truth.