Doctors...

Discussion in 'The Whiners' started by Llama, May 20, 2004.

  1. Llama

    Llama Member

    A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.


    Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX




    At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsefully replied the patient.

    Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA


    One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart,"

    Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada



    I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large letter on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.

    Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA



    During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of ! his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it." I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body. Since incident, the instructions now include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

    Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk,VA



    I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So, how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."

    Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI



    A new, young MD when doing his residency in OB, was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling. The middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener."
     
  2. HappyHaHaGirl

    HappyHaHaGirl *HipForums Princess*

    That's hilarious! I love the first ones... :D
     
  3. thats nivce

    PEACE adn LOVE
     
  4. thepixies

    thepixies Member

    that's funny but i dont get the KY jelly one



    what's KY jelly
     
  5. mudpuddle

    mudpuddle MangaHippiePornStar Lifetime Supporter

    *yarns*


    I must Confess that I didn't actualy Read this thread...I just Scrolled straight down to the Reply Thingie...then Realised that I never Read it...

    Ah well...
     
  6. moonydancer

    moonydancer Member

    yes.

    The last one confused me.
     
  7. Acid_Rain

    Acid_Rain Member

    KY is a tube of lube..sometimes used in the anal passage ;)
     
  8. thepixies

    thepixies Member

    ewwwwwwwwww
     
  9. moonbeam7

    moonbeam7 Member

    Oh man, I love those stories!:D
     
  10. kier

    kier I R Baboon

    oh the last ones one of the best!!! :D
     
  11. Sage-Phoenix

    Sage-Phoenix Imagine

    LOL

    Thanks for the laugh :D

    TTFN

    Sage
     
  12. That just made my day!! Thanks :)
     
  13. flowerchild17

    flowerchild17 I practice safe sax.

    Haha! That's great :D
     

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