do you think she's just letting me down easy?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by ahimsa, Jan 30, 2005.

  1. ahimsa

    ahimsa Senior Member


    I've got a question mainly for the girls. I've been very close friends with a girl and always been attracted to her as well. After knowing her 8 months, I finally got the courage to discuss my feeling with her last night.

    I asked her if she ever thought that we could ever be something more than just friends, and said I was interested but reluctant to express my feelings out of fear of jeopardizing our relationship.

    She told me that she had thought about it aswell and that she was always unsure about how I felt towards her. She said that while she felt if she could be happy with anyone it would be me, that she was still getting over the dysfunction of her last relationship and wasn't ready for another one. She went on to say she saw herself getting over it quickly, though( I dunno how you could forsee something like this).

    Now, I would usually read "I'm not ready for a relationship" as a gracious "no," but the other things she said make me confused about the possibility in the future. I guess I'm just asking what a female read on the situation is.

  2. Duck

    Duck quack. Lifetime Supporter

    I think she is being honest with you.
  3. ihmurria

    ihmurria fini

    Take her words at face value. Give her some time, and just be her friend until she's ready for a relationship - if you're both still interested in one another, you know it isn't just lust or a temporary thing, but something with a little more substance.

    Besides, would you really wanna be the rebound guy? Let her get over her last relationship.
  4. Sebbi

    Sebbi Senior Member

    Be grateful she said no:

    the girl I'm mad about said exactly the same thing and I figured I didn't want to be part of her rebound, but rather part of her life.

    It hurts but you've seriously just got to be patient. It difficult to do that but once she's coming out of her internal struggle then she'll be so grateful for you.


  5. ahimsa

    ahimsa Senior Member

    ^^^thanks to all who respondended. I think you're right that she is just being forthright about her situation. That was what I thought, but I wanted to know if you guys thought I should have read it as a "No".

    I think the best thing to do is be the best friend possible.

  6. Adgreyga

    Adgreyga Member

    i think you should read it as a "no-t for now"-thing not nessisarily a "no" altogether. if shes so great, im sure shes being honest and not lying to you. i once have a friend that i knew for 10 months before i confessed my feelings for him, so i kinda kno where your coming from...

    now that she knows dont pressure her and keep asking her about it (if you are)- when ppl are pressured to feel a certain way or do a certain thing they will definatly do something to really hurt you (like she'll say yes to go out wit you but not really mean it and you end up not trusting her in a relationship or she may get fustrated wit you and stop talking to you altogether leaving you pretty hurt im sure). what you should do is keep being the guy she trusted, and even toss in a few things to show her you are there for her in her relationship without seeming like your trying to suduce her when shes down

    - in short play the role of a guy you can she cant belive is their for her even when she isnt your "girlfriend" and that she can see wants nothing in return for it. and when/if she comes around you will know she'll be giving her all to you....

  7. TheLittleOne

    TheLittleOne Senior Member

    She probably doesn't know if she wants to be with you definitely. She may be getting over a past relationship, and using it to buy time to figure out how she feels about you...that's how i see it anyways...not a bad thing though

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