Do you feel obligated?

expanse · Jul 27, 2014

McCloud said:

I am a 20something straight female, currently dating a really amazing guy, I know that if I asked him to get me off at any time he would do it, because he truly enjoys/gets off on pleasuring and watching me. Recently sex has been really painful for me so we have cut down a bit because of it, from maybe a few times a day to probably once a day. He has a very high sex drive and I would say mine is about average, plus I have switched birth control and I am going through a stressful time that might have affected my desire to have sex.

His hands are all over me usually and last night was no different so we tried to have sex but it was too painful. He asked for a handjob but honestly I wasn't really that into it, plus we had already had sex earlier that day. So I kind of ignored his request and he started touching me again while he was touching himself. I started joking around and I was not taking the situation seriously at all and he got really frustrated, gets up and says if I wasn't into it he was going to go jerk off in the bathroom. I felt terrible. I know I took it too far and I should have been straight up with him that I wasn't into it, but I felt guilty, like I'm depriving him of something because I'm in pain/not into it. He tells me all the time to tell him if I feel like he's "pawing" at me and that he doesn't enjoy himself when I'm not into it, but I still feel obligated to do something.

Has anyone experienced guilt over someone's sexual pleasure like this? Are my feelings of guilt justified? I don't know how to handle the person that I love's high sex drive like this without feeling like I should do something about it.
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Each and every person is responsible for their own pleasure. You are not responsible for his nor is he for yours. If both of you want to be included in each other's pleasure you need to communicate.

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Do you feel obligated?

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