Do you ever ponder this thought..........

To my fellow gay/bi brothers on this board:

Do you ever find yourself trying to ponder why fate dictated that you not be born straight?

Do you find yourself resenting how easy and "mainstream" it is for straight males to date, find potential partners, "play the field", and marry whomever they choose (and be ALLOWED to), without any backlash from family, friends, and staight society in general?

To live your life freely openly, and honestly, without fear of being bashed or disowned by family, friends, and co-workers?

I still uncomfortably recall the blatant "double standards", set forth by the straight guys at my work place, many years ago, which, sadly, echoed too much of straight society.

When a STRAIGHT guy "played the field" with multiple females, he was deemed a REAL man by his straight pals.

When they heard of a GAY man who did the EXACT same thing (but with other men) he was deemed an abomination, a degenerate, a pervert.

This was even the case when discussing a gay male in a monogomous, long-time relationship with another men.

Bi men were seldom discussed, and, when they were, they were usually referred to as "half fags"; that tasteless label still rankles me today (and I'm gay)

I now have to wonder how many of these straight, married, masculine guys MIGHT have been bi-curious? (or, perhaps, even more than curious)

As a masculine, single, gay man (celibate for all of my 66 years), I find myself often bitterly resenting straights in general, and, as to why the fates chose to make me gay instead of straight.

Of course, I cannot change my sexuality, any more than a zebra can change his stripes.

So, I simply resigned myself to what I am, which cannot be changed, and simply live out my life as quietly and as unobtrusively as I can.

It ain't easy, by ANY means, but, as the late John Wayne once said:

"A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do"...........

"Live long and prosper"

 

......not being bi, I often wonder which scenario would be the more difficult of the two:

Being a married bi male, actively pursuing other males for sex/friendship, and hoping your spouse does not discover your bi side?

Or, "squelching" those desires, in order to maintain a "normal" family life?

IMHO, neither scenario seems to be a pleasant one, by any means.......

"Live long and prosper"

 

You’re correct.

 

Usually, I LIKE being correct; in this situation, however, I wish I were wrong.

Unless a bi married male has a VERY liberal/understanding wife, his desires to be intimate with other males have to be "shelves", or, at the very least, acted upon with much discretion............

"Live long and prosper"

 

I have these desires and have been open with the wife, none of them have been acted on for real as of yet. She knows that i look at cock porn sometimes, and we have pretended with her dildos and strap on. I dont have to hide it but i dont know if i will ever be able to completely act on it either. My wife is very straight laced and we are both fairly conservative, to know us you would have no idea of the things that we are into and have tried. They are way out of our comfort zone, but has given me the confidence to open up to her about my fasntasies.

 

I think that makes a good deal of sense; takes things at a pace at which YOU are comfortable with.

I know from reading of the experiences of other bi married males that, if one is lucky enough to "hook up", so to speak, with another like-minded male, things can happen "naturally", where said bi married male is able to open up about his m/m fantasies to a potential male partner, and let things naturally take their course from there.

Often, a good friendship is also possible.

Good luck!

"Live long and prosper"

 

No. Far too deep for me. I am what I am, I just get on with it.
While I'm not actively looking for encounters of any type at the moment , back in the day, when I was, I never had any problem finding partners, either female, couples or men. I was always discreet and other than my wife, I doubt anybody in my circle of friends and acquaintances would have known that I was a bisexual player. Keeping things "undercover" was never a problem for me.

 

In high school (20 years ago) I had a lot of negative thoughts and feelings about my sexuality, but as I grew up, and as society changed, things have become just very ordinary. There seems to be much less shock factor than there was in the past.

 

Yes I wonder why I ended up down the road of having sex with men. Never had the thought before 38

 

Well, from an evolutionary standpoint sex is used only for procreation. Or is it?
Sex is an act of intimacy and trust. Under healthy circumstances you don't do it with just anybody. If you want to make babies with someone, you probably want to feel pretty close with them and be around with them. Why limit that mechanism of closeness just for making babies if you just plain want to feel close with someone, whether or not making a baby is even a possibility?
To try to answer your question, "why not?" Why limit my desires when there's no logical reason to do so? If I honestly have no desire to swing both ways, so be it. But if I do I should embrace it and take advantage of opportunities to enjoy it. I like to have my options. In a way I wish I were solidly bisexual in all ways. But I'm glad I at least get the urge for both from time to time.

 

That's big statement. Yes, sex is an act of intimacy. But trust? How is it an act of trust? which of the parties in any given sexual coupling affected by trust? and what does "healthy circumstances" mean? I take we are talking about mental, social, and community health as opposed to medical health? Hell, plenty of people, of all genders who are mentally sound, socially civilized and community minded have sex with just anybody all the time. I guess there are some who are sexually repressed who have bought into the bullshit epitomised by the statement quoted above but... give me a break!

 

I know, it just happened to me too

 

....not one of us, in truth, can predict what the future holds for us; it would seem, then, the old saying is true, after all"

"You're never safe from surprise until you are dead."

Also:

"Nothing in this life is certain except death and taxes."

Yes, you just never know what diverging roads you might take, later in life...........

 

From the very first moment my 9-year-old self had a hard dick in my mouth and got totally hooked on it (and the cum that followed), I had asked, "How can something everyone says is so bad feel so good?" Having that weird feeling that I was the only one who now found that I liked sex with boys and girls and... why was I like this? Since then, I have spent the majority of my life asking questions and finding answers; I found the flaws in our morality and questioned them and continued to ignore the taboos because, well, because it feels good because it's supposed to feel good. Sex with girls is all well and good... but so is having sex with a guy and understanding that you don't have to be gay; you don't have to "like guys like that" - you just have to want to have sex and like a guy enough to get busy with him because if you don't mind, it never matters.

I grew up with and into my bisexuality with great glee; it was all so very exciting and it still is because I understand the humanity involved that takes our social norms and trashes them; it's never just been about the way it's supposed to be: It's about the way it can be, you know, if you really don't mind and you're not afraid to explore all of the possibilities. I just was never afraid to and to hell with the rules. No shame. No guilt. No regrets about tasting dick that first time. There's a reason why so many guys experience this and say that it felt normal... because it is normal for us to have sex with each other.

Was this fate? Destiny? I don't know but it is what it has been for me over the many decades. Unashamedly bisexual.

 

EXCELLENT post; thanks for sharing your experience and feelings here; be PROUD of your sexuality and don't let anyone "rain on your parade"-----go with the flow and ENJOY!

 

@KDaddy23 your attitude and amazing outlook on life are infectious and very genuine. Your deep physiological look on life provokes thought and is entertaining. You seem to be very comfortable here at hip and I'm glad your here.

 

I've had a long time to figure it all out...