Do We Ask Too Much?

Going off topic a bit, but I used to be in a relationship with a guy living in Pennsylvania. When I'd visit, I'd end up cleaning his place because it was messy! I have ocd like a lot of others here have mentioned. Then towards the end of our relationship, he was living in a condo with three other guys!! That place was a disaster and I started doing dishes and cleaning the bathroom, lol. They gave me some weird stares. Looking back on it, it's kind of embarrassing and he probably didn't like me touching his stuff, but I hope he at least appreciated it a little bit. I was asking all of them though why they leave dishes laying around and that's when they said their mom always did them... I've know a lot of guys to pile and pile up dishes and finally do them what seems like months later because they finally ran out of dishes!

 

I would only ask that a woman would not read my private notes.Other than that I have a lot of leeway.Everyone today wants perfection and the perfect partner.To me that's bullshit.Part of the antagonism between men and woman is also part of the attraction.

 

Umm.. So, if you're ever in Canada, wanna stop by?

 

I think our culture is waaaay too gender-obsessed. The "men this, women that" stuff just gets in the way of real communication more often than not, in my experience. I look for and try as best I can to provide honesty/directness, empathy, intelligence, simplicity, naturalness, compersion/non-jealousy, and common interests. All else falls into place from there. I guess I've never felt comfortable trying to cram myself or others into gender roles that saying "Person of gender X must perform task Y--because genitals!"

 

I was just being punny.

I get what you're saying. We want equality, but it leaves us feeling deprived. Women want equal tretment, but chivalry too. Men want a self respecting female, but a submissive one too.

Am I in the ballpark?

 

Not really, for me, personally.
But those types of points - amongst many others - are what I am talking about.

 

I don't like gender roles either but it seems some just come naturally. I don't think society is too obsessed with gender roles either, there seems to be equality. Using this as an example again, but if there was a couple of men and a couple of women in a room and dishes had to be done and trash had to be taken out, I think most of the women would want to do dishes and the men would go take the trash out. Actually, the guys would probably sit around drinking beer while playing video games then finally take the trash after they couldn't stand the women nagging them to take it out anymore, all the while dirtying more dishes for the women to clean

 

Care to extrapolate?

 

I don't really have 60 plus years to talk about the male female so-called divide etc etc etc.

 

Women pretend that they want to be understood,when in actual fact it usually offends their modesty.

 

I think a lot of gender roles are more self-fulfilling prophecies than "natural." If they were natural, then those of us who don't fit neatly into either role would be unnatural.

If we truly had equality, I'm sure there wouldn't be so much emphasis on "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" sorts of categorizations. We wouldn't have it almost built into the language that genders are "opposite." There probably wouldn't even be a question as to whether one gender is asking too much of another. Don't get me wrong--I think in some ways we as a society have made a little bit of progress here--but I think we have a ways to go before we get to complete equality.

 

Men and women are not equal.

 

It's interesting that we created inequality while trying to obtain equality.

Example; An ex boss of mine openly admitted that she got her job based solely on the fact that she is a woman. During the era she got hired there was intense pressure on this institution to hire women as there was a very unequal workforce. She went on to explain that there were other men who applied that may have been more qualified, it was a physical labour intensive job. Yet the males were unqualified because of their sex.

This happens today as well and it makes the news. More often now a days though it's race that qualifies or disqualifies as pressure is on companies to have a race representative workforce.

I understand there are, arguably, more jobs available to men. But this, example given, still creates inequality while trying to promote equality at the same time.

 

'black' females :hide::leaving:

 

I was just saying some gender roles seem to come naturally. But of course, some is learned behavior. I can still see why it's said that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. While both sexes are human, male and female brains are still wired differently.
"Research indicates that men and women do in fact have different structures and wiring in the brain, and men and women may also use their brains differently. In some cases, this may explain some of the stereotypes that we may not like to acknowledge about the genders. For example, men do score better at tasks that involve orienting objects in space, while women do better at language tests [source: Kolata]. From there, it's but a quick jump to the conclusions that men are better at reading maps and women talk too much."
http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/men-women-different-brains1.htm

 

I do 90% of the cleaning, ALL the dishes and 99% of the cooking (I'm a better cook anyway) and of course all the "manly" chores of yard work, maintenance, etc and all the books and crap for our business.

Then I'm expected to perform like a champion stallion in bed and give her numerous orgasms one after another.
It's hard work I tell ya, you women have no idea how easy you got it.



I will say though that my wife will take the trash out, if taking it out means leaving it just outside the backdoor! :toetap05:

 

There's a new program here created by an MP which serves to have companies place an emphasis on hiring asian women over other qualified candidates. Ironically the policy was set in place by a white woman.. Who wouldn't have gotten HER job if the policy...

Annyways...

Women are very upset about this as it disqualifies all others. Not only that but it narrows the scope of potential employees which can lead to an unbalanced unemployment rate among certain races and cultures which further perpetuates racism and poverty of certain races in a place and time when such things should no longer exist.

 

I think that is called: post-modern something or other...

 

The rest of your post seems totally reasonable but this part here, well that is just too much! You need to resolve this inequity in your relationship. She should not be taking advantage of you like this!!! :rofl: