Here's the deal. My wife and I have been together some 20 years or so. When we first started dating I already had an established apartment and her and her sons literally moved in with me and my daughter. When we moved to our new home we took all the furniture we had with us. This was furniture I bought when my daughter was a baby. She'll be 26 this year. One thing my wife would always say is that she wasn't happy sleeping on someone else's furniture. But, the furniture we had has lasted us and we didn't abuse it. This past Sat we went and finally looked at a new bedroom set for us. All the kids have moved out on their own. Two of the kids still live in our city but my wife's youngest son moved to the next city over some 15 or 20 miles away. He and his girlfriend. The furniture store we are looking at is about 24 miles from our house and they charge like $200 to deliver so we decided it would be cheaper to just rent a U-Haul and go pick it up once we're ready for it. With U-Haul it's a flat fee then they charge by the miles put on the truck. So a $9 rental could run you a total of $100 or more depending upon how much you drive or how many miles you put on it, plus the fact that you've gotta refuel it when you bring it back. My thinking was that we rent a U-Haul close to furniture store and just pick the furniture up and do a one way rental to our house and drop it off at a U-Haul place close to our house. My wife wants to give our current bedroom furniture to here son and his girlfriend since they are just sleeping on a mattress on the floor in their apartment. They have been in their place more than a year but still haven't saved up enough money to get a bedroom set. So now that means that we'll have to rent a U-Haul close to our house, drive this furniture to them then go on to the furniture store, pick up our new stuff and then drive the 24 miles or so back to our place. No, the step-son doesn't live in the same city where the furniture store is so that means driving the U-Haul from our place to his city, then going to the next city to get the furniture, then back you our home. That could be some 50 miles round trip or thereabouts. My thinking is that the step-son and his gf can get a U-Haul and once we get our new furniture we could put the old stuff in our carport covered with plastic and then he could come and get it when they are ready for it. In addition to getting the bedroom set we're giving them all the bedding for it with several sets of liven. We're going from a queen sized to a king sized so we have no need for the bedding we've collected over the years. We're going to have to buy all new king sized sets anyway. My wife thinks we should just pay the total U-Haul fee to take it to them then go pick up ours which means we are paying for everything to get them off the floor in their apartment. My thinking is that if someone if giving you a whole room full of furniture for free the least you could do is arrange to pick it up. Again, the furniture store is going to charge about $200 for delivery and typically what that means is that they're going to give us a delivery window and we'll have to stay home all day waiting on them. If we rented a U-Haul that could save us half the delivery fee and then we could pick up the new furniture early that morning and then take the rest of the day to put it together and arrange it. If someone gives me something for free I can assure you I'm going to go pick it up and not expect them to deliver it to me. The wife thinks we should just pay for the entire U-Haul and take the furniture to them. Then on top of that they live on the 3rd floor which means we've gotta get it up 3 flights of stairs to their apt. My wife is using the term, "they can't afford. . . . . " That's all fine and good but they pay their rent each month, buy groceries, pay bills, and on top of that seem to have enough to buy weed all the time. I'm just of the mindset that if you can do that then you can skip on weed for a little bit to come get the furniture someone is giving you. Am I wrong? Do we always have to pay for them?
Quit the small stuff and try and improve your families relationship, you never know but it may make your step-siblings like you a bit more! Generosity beats scrooge-like reaction to the detailed list of why you should not help out. So yes you are wrong it's only about a 20 year old bed after all.
Be a wiser shopper. Here in midwest most furniture stores. have free delivery. Make that part of the deal before signing on the dotted line. I love the fact that most furniture stores, are Going Out of Business. This one store has had that sign up for 30 years.
That is what consideration is so yes both are required be considerate of one another. I am speaking in physics as well.
This is why many young adults feel such entitlement. Instead of having to do something on their own and figure things out for them selves, many parents find it easier to just do it for them. Simply because the young adult will not take the initiative. Being they are sleeping on a mattress on the floor shows the level of their priorities. In addition many parents still are trying to make up for a loss in the family structure by continuing to have a controlling hand in their children’s daily lives. I’m just trying to help, will always be the reasoning.
If you have bad knees and a bad back, you should not be hauling your own furniture, or anyone else's furniture. Pay the fee for your delivery then wait upon events. The recipients of your old stuff may be satisfied with the current situation. How liquid is the son?
So, the one thing I'm not seeing here is that the kids are asking for or expecting your furniture. I may have missed something, but I don't think I saw anything in the post about them complaining about their current situation either. It sounds like the whole furniture donation thing is your idea, not theirs. If they're happy with a mattress on the floor and the Xbox & some weed, that's their choice. If that's what makes them happy, is that really the wrong set of priorities? Who gets to decide that anyway? You? It may not be what you would choose for them, but seriously how many of us made choices our parents thought were stupid but ended up making us happy at the time? I'm hearing the "kids today are so entitled " and "they've got their priorities wrong." Like I said, maybe I missed something but I don't think they're complaining about their situation or demanding your furniture. They're not making you mad - you are.
