Do you think that people generally do to their partner what they want done to them? Such as lots of roaming hands touching, focus on certain areas or activities? Or setting pace and pressure?
I think no two minds work the same, by once you have discovered the other person's likes and ways, a system all of your own develops.. But no, I think it's unlikely that you do what you want...
Having been married a long time. My wife and I are still learning each other. However, she knows that I am more open with my thoughts regarding sex. We do talk daily about our sex life together and the health benefits we receive from it.