Do nice guys finish last?

that really sucks. since when did a jerk deserve a girl more than a nice guy? reality is Epic Fail. nothing is right.

 

Well, if we assume that "nice guys" generally end up lonely while the "assholes" get the girls then wouldn't this be expected? If "you" (i.e. women) slept with nice guys more often then maybe they'd have more experience sexually and would be able to last longer?

 

I'm a nice guy, but I'm kinda sexually agressive. Not too badly, but my hands will start roaming around a little fast. I don't come too fast either.

 

Most men who grew up raised by a single mother develop into introverted nice guys. That is assuming the mother was a positive role model. It's not a deliberate thing, but the mother seems to commonly not give their children the right picture of how to talk to women.

It's just one more reason why a child needs a father figure.

Although as far as nice guys finishing last, I think the first few posts in this thread basically narrowed it down. There's nice guys who can talk to women who will finish early on, and then there are those extremely nice men who either get controlled or literally has a fairy tale kind of romance.


Then there's the asshole who's stuck with a bitch at 60.


EDIT: Also, nerds and geeks seem to be the best at pleasing the opposite sex. GG internet.

 

Nice guys DO NOT finish last, in my opinion. I'm sure there are women out there who do[sadly] like the jerks, but a real woman wants a man who is a gentleman and who will respect her.
I'm sure it is possible to find a man who offfers good sex and true love. Rare, but it's out there. ;] & if two people are truely in true love, everything else just falls into place/
All I want is a guy to be my equal, my lover, & my best friend. I'm sure there are many "nice guys" who fit into that category. ;]

 

yes, nice guys finish last...sad but true

wow karma angel, im pretty sure your like the most beautiful thing of all time lol...

 

There are plenty of situations where nice guys meet nice girls early on in there adulthood, but as a majority early on it seems more assholes and jerks meet women than nice men.

I think it's mostly just due to young age and young expierence. I know most people my age (low 20's) just want to party and have fun and jump from relationship to relationship with people (goes equal for men and women) to build their expierences. Many people I know at my age are reluctant to settling down with someone.

Eventually, most people reach that level of maturity with relationships though that's needed to harbor a long-lasting "finished" search for love.


edit: Your sig, one of my favorite songs.

 

I don't think that the problem is just guys being "nice", it's more of just nice guys with almost a complete lack of confidence. I see plenty of guys that are nice people in good relationships, but they have a lot of confidence in themselves and being in a relationship. But some nice guys don't have much confidence in relationships, and it is mostly the nice guys that lack the confidence.

I can use myself as an example. Back in middle school and high school I really didn't have much confidence in myself. Of course I never really got in a relationship because of this. Now, due to something happening in my life, starting at the end of high school and up until now, I have much more confidence in myself in almost every aspect of my life. I guess the one thing I still lack in confidence in is relationships because my lack of experience makes me lack confidence in going forth in one. Right now I really don't care about relationships now though because I have a lot going on in my life anyway. (Though it would be cool to have a relationship, I'm not really looking).

By the way, to the person who mentioned guys growing up with a single mother commonly have the nice guy/lack of confidence problem, I can see how that is possible because I mostly just grew up with my mom with various father figures in and out of my life.

 

Check out www.doubleyourdating.com as well as Doc Love's articles on www.askmen.com


Want a good example of how to be a good decent gentleman? Go rent some Carey Grant movies.....

 

Nice guys are not even in the race to finish..

 

Quote for truth!

 

awww, my boyfriends a nice guy............actually he has to make do with me so he probably did come last in the race! sucks to be him.

 

I don't really buy into the whole nice guy/bad boy dichtomy.

I think guys pigeonhole themselves as "The Nice Guy" and it becomes self-fulfilling prophecy.

What does Nice Guy even mean?

I'm fairly shy, all it means is I tend to date women that are more outgoing and forward, and other women lose out.

What does "finish last" mean?

It's not a race, there aren't prizes for the guy who snags a girl the quickest (unless you take your darwinism *really* seriously). You don't have to have a girlfriend to be enjoying your life...

Most of the self-described bad-boys I know tend to meet a large quantity of girls, but their relationships also tend to be pretty volatile and rocky, that would drive me bonkers, I can't be doing with lots of drama in a relationship.

If that's the First Prize, I'm happy to finish last.

 

Stanley Ipkis says yes. And so do i. nices guys with realy realy good luck finish second or third, but usually us regular nice guys finish dead last.

 

Of course it doesn't help that all men who are unsuccesful with women put it down to them being "such a nice guy"


It's very telling of how the male mind works

 

If I were homely or heavy, I would blame it on that and complain about the drastically changing standards men are being judged by these days (Three cheers for our sisters, for beating down the chauvinistic oppressions of physical beauty once pressed on them by the many pigs most men were back in the day, of witch i couldn't be happier, but shame on most of you for shoving them in the laps of today's generation of men.). But i'm not, thus i have no reason to.

If i were untalented, i would blame it on that and find something i was good at. But just as i have weaknesses, i have strengths as well.

It can't be because i'm bad in bed, because i've never gotten the chance to prove myself in that area.

If i weren't a nice person, i would know. I'm very self conscious about how i treat others, and i try to give them as much respect as i would like to be given. I always offer my help and always extend a favor if needed. And i feel like if i were to start a relationship i would never be unfaithful and always let my significant other know that i appreciate them and respect them like i know some girls actually apreciate.

But no, that's boring. Women really want uncertainty. They want to think their taming a wild beast that wants nothing more than to get away. the fact that their man could cheat on them, leave them after getting what they want, or even attack them is ten times more "exciting" than anything i could offer. Either that or they're the ones that play the ever popular "My love will change him!" game.

What you say may be true in some cases, the "i'm just too nice" excuse can be overplayed. But despite that, for an ACTUAL nice guy....the fact that it could very well be his ACTUAL problem can't be overlooked or shrugged off as simple cliche excuses.

 

Don't take this the wrong way,
But most women I know hate men that generalise women and "what they want".

 

My boyfriend is a nice guy. There is no way I would want to be in a relationship with a 'wild beast'. I don't have the time or patience to be trying to tame guys.

 

NO, But blacks holes of emotional need do. Gotta get some confidence, man. Some mistake confidence for asshole. The ladies do not. This leaves the perception of nice guys finishing last. I'm a great guy but needy, I am not. Girls will sniff that out right away.

 

I dunno man. If it were really that simple, and all women wanted the same thing, then we'd (men) all be getting laid every night of the week. I dont think it's that helpful to say that all (or even most) women want that, because women are all different. Just as different guys look for different traits in girls, I think it's reasonable that women do the same.

In that, Im sure there there are plenty of girls out there who are tired of being dicked around by guys who arent faithful to them, and guys that they have to worry about what they're doing all the time. Perhaps though, it's possible that these types of women are harder to notice, because they're more quiet and shy?

Anyway, in response to the general question about nice guys, I think it's important to remember that everyone has a differing opinion on what "nice" is. For example, a friend of mine when I was in high school used to play the "nice guy" card. His angle was that he'd never, ever disagree with a girl about something. Anything she wanted, he'd give to her. He let himself be totally taken advantage of by some types of women, just because he saw it as his role in being a "nice guy." (Which ended up making him really bitter and resentful.)

To me though, that's not really a "nice guy". That's a door mat, and I dont think many people (of either gender) find doormats as being particularly attractive. It's a boring trait, and doesnt show much self respect for the person. Personally, I wouldnt want to go out with a girl who did everything I told her to without question - although, this is a mere hypothetical, since most girls find me about as appealing as the thought of being jabbed in the gums with a rusty screwdriver - and I dont think many girls want guys like that either......well adjusted ones, anyway....

So, in that, I think it's important that before people typecast themselves as "nice guys" or "nice girls" they think about what they do. If they arent able to stand up for themselves, then that probably indicates a lack of confidence in themselves, rather than any "niceness."