Do gentlemen still exist?...

I wasnt on this planet 40 years ago

 

Oh for christs sake. I never MEANT that money was important. Or the presents...meh i give up

 

Then you'll not understand why that whole Cary Grant and Ginger Rogers crap went out of style.

Ever heard of the term "gilded cage?"

Being put on a pedastal and worshipped was NOT that wonderful a thing, when it came along with a generally phallocratic, condescending and patronising society.

 

respect is knowing that someone is right simply because they are right, not needing to question it because it's right, respect is a touch of trust, a bit of love (in the willing to sacrifice oneself to preserve loved person or thing capacity) and a vacuum of pride involved in the relationship

 

How many times have i now said that this is not about pedestals?

 

but your original post essentially said:

Where in there was the mention of you treating him like a god? holding doors for him, speaking gently to him, buying him gifts at regular intervals. Spending a lot of your time and money on him. Who will do every romantic thing you can possibly think of to him.


yeah, it wasn't there. It was an "I want to be spoilt" post. We all have those urges, but demanding that in a person is not going to work out. A man like that simply doesn't exist in the long term because NO ONE CAN BE THAT PERFECT, no one will put up with someone who demands that from them all the time.

 

now i know a place for you!!!!!:X

 

Verseau: your words

"The ones who want to treat their wives or girlfriends like goddesses..."

That's NOT an equal relationship. In this country we call that putting someone on a pedastal.

"wholl hold doors open and speak to them gently and buy them gifts at regular intervals...wholl spend their money and time...wholl appreciate the romance and the "i love you"s...."

Buying is so important, you mentioned it twice!

 

btw, I'm scared as to how much I agree with irongoth here.... normally he pisses me off so much I can barely think.
hrm.

 

I don't think being a Gentleman and providing the Cave and Food is putting a woman up on a pedestal.
In any relationship you can Compete, Cooperate, or Collaborate. What I provide is the cave and the food. I don't need a partner to pay my rent or keep me in food.
Doing that doesn't mean my partner would just be hanging out and not collaborating in the relationship. Trouble is we have come to believe that Women have to help pay the rent and buy the food. Also, I don't need a woman to clean my house either. If that was the case I would get a maid.
Collaboration in my relationship is working on other more fun stuff instead of paying the rent-and paying into the infrastructure. Working on three money making businesses that provide fun money to do other things. Being a gentleman has now become a label of a guy being a wimp and a pussy. Ask any women if seeing a guy taking care of a baby is not sexy.
We all have a female and male part of who we are. Most men are not allowed to show that sensitive side of who they are in this country. They are considered Gay. Meanwhile in many Hispanic or Mediterranean countries guys have no problem hugging or even dancing with one another. They are secure in their masculinity to be able to show the sensitive side of who they are. That sensitive side has the gentleman part of it. Treating a woman like shit has become in some guys minds the way to keep a woman.
Some chicks like that-the ones who do have some severe abuse issues and are not much fun. They for the most part look for that Biker guy and then have the pussy guy home.
All I was saying is being a Gentleman is a good thing and I think yes we have gotten away from that in life.
As far as getting tired of someone opening a door for you open it for the guy when you feel like that then.

 

You are trully fucked up in the way you think about relationships.....

 

LOL Try writing it bigger. LOL So sad that many equate being a gentleman to putting a Woman on a pedestal. How about both the man and the woman both doing great stuff for each other? LOL How sad most people don't even see that as a reality anymore.

 

WOW do you really believe that?

 

i dont know,
some women would say im a gentleman with a twist...what the twist is i have yet to discover...but i like to treat my ladies well and i like when its reciprocated. i dont shower them with gifts, but i do little things and sometimes buy them something nice. i also like to wine and dine my ladies too but i hate it when they dont ever chip in or sometimes pay for it. i think gentleman is an archaic term now, its more of a "mutual love and reciprocation" thing nowadays.

 

That's all really great stuff. It's the things everyone wants from a partner.
Don't ever lose that in who you are as a person.

 

RE: w, I'm scared as to how much I agree with irongoth here.... normally he pisses me off so much I can barely think.

Well, I am trying not to piss you off. You and I share the same birthday and people born on that day tend to end up on grassy knolls with high powered rifles.

RE: n any relationship you can Compete, Cooperate, or Collaborate. What I provide is the cave and the food. I don't need a partner to pay my rent or keep me in food.

That's not what she's saying. That, drew, wouldn't be enough.

RE: Meanwhile in many Hispanic or Mediterranean countries guys have no problem hugging or even dancing with one another. They are secure in their masculinity to be able to show the sensitive side of who they are.

I am NOT patterning myself on a culture that's been trying to get men to wear skirts and makeup for years. I will not eat cake for breakfast, drink steamed coffee out of a thimble, or drive a Smart.

RE: Treating a woman like shit has become in some guys minds the way to keep a woman.

Sadly, it works.

RE: Some chicks like that-the ones who do have some severe abuse issues and are not much fun. They for the most part look for that Biker guy and then have the pussy guy home.

See above.

 

Originally Posted by verseau_miracle
But isnt being strong all about recognising that others have qualities that we dont have? Like for men respecting women because theyre different and us respecting men in return? I find the truly "spineless" guys are the ones who jus will not admit that they respect women...that they are perhaps weaker than them in some areas and, most of all, that they really truly love them. These things can be shown through gifts, affection, and the token gestures i mentioned.
Truly strong men give the most respect i think.

Xx

I totally agree!

 

Hey, er, wiz

These are European males

 

Needless to say, no, no, hell no, mille fois non, nein, nunca, nyet.

I would much rather be able to bench more than I weigh than have perfectly waxed eyebrows.

 

AHAHAHAHHAAHAHAAHAHHAHAH,, NOW THIS IS ORIGIONAL,,not..

Seems futile at this point dont it?? ahh shes young....