Do ALL Men Go Thru A Homophobic Stage?

Because I certainly did. And this is even after I found out I was gay, c. age 12 or so.

Is it natural? Does it have anything to do with our society? Or is it just a natural phase, as it were?

Inquiring minds want to know.

 

I personally think its within us all genetically but many times guided by our upbringing or societies rules. My ownself i had a time in my teens that sexual curiosities brought about some minor play amongst myself and a couple buddies. We all married and had normal hetro lives. I never considered anything different until a couple years ago. Dont know if it was aging, hormonal changes and or my wife's now lack of sexual participation that caused me to venture into the curiosities again of same sex. The person I play with is same age as myself too admits to never having bi urges but has developed them the last couple of years. Itsxall a mystery to me but I'm not complaining .

 

I'd think it has a lot to do with one's upbringing and individuals sex life. Take myself, raised in a conservative military family. Served myself, married, raised a family and never once considered anything same sex. Had a great sex life with the wife then it began to dwindle down as my curiosity was on the rise for cock.

 

I don't think it's inevitable for men or anyone else to be homophobic. It's not a universally natural phase. This is the fault of a still homophobic, heteronormative society.

 

Generally, boys are conditioned to be fiercely heterosexual in all thoughts and actions from very early in their lives. This was especially so prior to the 1990s in the U.S..

Imagine my surprise when I learned at the age of 22 that intimacy with men did not cause me to lose my attraction to women. In fact, having intimate experiences with men resulted in improving my ability to relate to women, both as friends and as lovers.

Since I embraced bisexuality at age 22, open-minded women and bi/gay men have been my closest confidantes. While I can relate to super-straight men and women in work or social situations, they tend to have this wall of conditioning around them that inhibits many realms of conversation.

 

Good for you. At your age I began to sense attraction to the same sex, and it took me a few decades to be OK with it! I never doubted the existence of bisexuality, so I never suspected I liked men exclusively. But just the fact of liking men was unacceptable to me. I wasn't homophobic to the point I was against other people being gay. I have always supported the LGBT community. It's just that I had a difficult time accepting myself as a guy who might like guys. It wasn't so much questioning my masculinity, though that was part of it. It was more a fear of being too permissive sexually. It's kind of difficult to explain accurately. This was during the mid '90s too and I was in a college crowd, so it's not like I would exactly be being hunted down for being queer. Still this was way too weird for me and I was ashamed and scared of it. Fortunately I have accepted this as an integral, interesting and potentially fun part of who I am, and I eagerly await my first homosexual experience.
And I agree about how liking guys improves liking ladies. I don't know if being bisexual is a sign of a more well rounded sexual outlook or it causes you to be a better lover. Maybe it's a little of both and it's a chicken/egg question. I just know the right chicks dig a dude that swings both ways!

 

I think bisexuality changed my relationship with women is a subtler way than that.

A lot of super-straight men are terrified of their own feminine characteristics. In my very first sexual relationship with a man, I learned what it was like to set aside my macho orientation and make a huge leap of faith toward being open and receptive, and I am not talking about being physically in a sexually submissive position. I'm talking about love and trust here, which are at the core of femininity.

I not only got off physically with this man, I got off on all levels of experience. We worked together, embracing both our masculine and feminine aspects, in a long and gradual build-up toward a climax, and then we remained receptive with each other after that climax. We took a shower together and continued to feel very close. We ate breakfast together the next morning, and shared our views about philosophy and promoting peace in the world.

Women have confided in me that their husbands or male lovers are so focused on their own physical orgasm that they totally miss the opportunity to really connect and merge. Some women have told me they never had an orgasm with their husband, even after many years of marriage. One woman told me, "I've gotten to the point where I don't even care if I can have an orgasm with him. I just want him to understand what I am feeling." In these discussions, it is apparent that many men are terrified that being receptive, affectionate, and loving is a sign of weakness.

In a culture where femininity has historically been relegated second-class status, embracing your femininity is not only a sign of strength, but is also the key to finding great satisfaction in personal relationships.

 

Lmao what no people have called me a f#* before and I had to whoop them if ur talking self hate not really

 

If the wife wants a orgasm she can ask for one feminity has nothing to do with being a silent fish and just taking it even my bottom doesn’t do that if he really wants to get his prostate tickled he’ll ask or ride me

 

I most definitely did, see some gay act as a teenager and thought gross yet I still liked looking at dicks. Fast forward many year and finally tried sex with men and now to this day I fully except gay people bi people etc and know I’m fully bi maybe gay as I love sex with men

 

I certainly did when I was younger. I knew in middle school that I was bi. I didn't want to come to terms and accept it so I had hatred towards them. It wasn't until High School I started to become friends with people who are gay, bi, and lesbian. I got educated and realized they are people just like everyone else. My hatred went away for good. I finally accepted it in my early twenties. I came clean to my wife last year and she accepted it.

Life is so much better when you come to terms and accept it. Who cares what society thinks. It's more about you and only you that should be happy and not worry about pleasing others because of the stigma

 

I never did.

 

Even though I equally loved my male and female friends as a child, homophobia was drilled into me at home, at school, at scouting events, youth sports, and on the streets.

When I suddenly found myself getting turned on during a massage by a nice man in my early 20s, I remember to this day how much inner conflict I went through. I distinctly recall about a half hour of fear and panic. He kept saying, "I am not going to ask you to do anything you do not want to do". I remember finally thinking to myself, "How is this any different from masturbating? This guy is so considerate. Just go for it!"

Then, after reaching a mutual climax with him and laying there in a naked and glowing embrace, it felt as natural as my early childhood memories about loving other males.

For my generation, homophobia was definitely a conditioned response. It did not come naturally to me at all, and once I kicked that conditioning, I kicked it for good. That step enhanced my relationships with both men and women.