divorce

aww jamie i'm sorry... i remember you talking about it off and on, on here, and it's probably for the best. trust yourself and your decisions and like annie said, take time off to be with yourself and your kids. good luck!

 

Oh wow Jaime, I'm really sorry...

I wish I had something more to say, something to help.

Many hugs...

 

Damn! I was almost 31 when I got married. It lasted 10 years. Now I've enjoyed 10 years of being single.

 

Hey, it beats being stuck in a relationship that the only reason yall are in it is for the money or kids or a place to stay.

End it dipshit.

 

Sorry you're going through that, Jaime. I am also a two time loser in the marriage thing and I swore it would never happen again. But you know, shit happens. So I feel ya hon.

And a counsellor told you that getting married would bring the two of you together??? Sounds like malpractice to me. Statistics show otherwise.

 

marrying too young. probably not being with someone a good 2 years before even getting engaged. thinking lust and lvoe are the same thing (VERY common mistake.) a lotta people think that the initial excitement of the bonding phase is what the rest of the relationship is going to be like. that's totally untrue. it gets boring and people don't TRULY show their whole being until a couple years into a relationship of any sort. don't get married. seriously. it's unneccesary unless you're a religious type.

 

RE: wow this thread is proof positive that women can be just as predatorial as men when they smell the crisis an take advantage of it..

More so.

Look at it this way, HHB - for them, they end it - they get the kids AND the house AND your money.

AND their freedom.

YOU'RE gonna be the one in the roach-infested studio, eating peanut butter cause you don't wanna go to jail for non-payment of support.

 

very true. except for those rare, exceptional women who allow themselves to be legally ass-raped and left with the kids and no money or resources to raise them.

 

KC - yeah, like that ever happens.

 

Strummin' my pain with his finger... posting my life with his word... killing me softly with his post, killing me softly, with his post... telling my whole life...

Yeah, I'm like the Roberta Flack of Divorce...

 

What does all this have to do with Come_Do_Drawings?

 

oh, boy boy boy. am i gonna have to point out exceptions AGAIN?!! i know how you love it when i do that.

 

well, the first couple of posts did, i responded to her, too. i'm very proud. but now we're having other discussions spawned by her predicament....

 

Oh, OK. Carry on.

 

Ever wonder, KC, why most women are really happy after divorce, they have parties, toss their wedding rings in the toilet, etc. whereas the men are usually nasty and bitter after it?

 

you have no idea what your talking about!
i get the kids.. and i love them with all of my being but its hard.. you wanna be solely responsible for three growing minds.. im raising these kids.. everyday in and out teaching them caring about them getting frusterated by them .. life is busy and fun but not all the time.. i don't like complaining about my children .. ive lost a baby and i could never be me again with out them
but its fucking tuff man... kids are full of energy and when you've been crying all day in the bathroom trying to hide the pain .. or at least shield them from the brunt of it... and your body and mind are spinning with all of the things your going to be responsible for....
i already spend every day all day with the kids but now i have to get a full time job and support them and me... car payment...rent... utilities...clothes... food...these are all things on my mind because there is no way to live.. not comfortable (imo) on what i might be getting from my husband for child support.. you don't even know my views on that.. i get 140 bucks a month for my oldest daughter from her father and i have never demanded more.. when he doesn't pay i don't bitch.. whats the point.. if he can't afford to help then its my job.. and as far as my current husband goes he works hard for his money and im not about to lay some sort of claim on it.. i'll take what i have to and no more.. the freakin truth is i have to in order to keep the children on medicaid.. and its bullshit but wtf is wrong with a guy chipping in when hes got ALL his freedom... no kids to have to wake up with in the morning.. fuck im upset... grrrr


*deep breath*


thank you everybody who had some thing decent to say... yea it does help knowing that no matter how insignificant this internet world is people can still use it as a tool to show support and receive it when needed.. and omg if you only knew how badly i need it right now

 

I'd say typically it can be harder on the man because many men honestly don't know how to take care of themselves. They got married so they would have a mother figure that takes care of them, and when she's gone they return to bum-dom. Even stay at home moms are better off on their own than the man on his own because although they didn't have an income they do know how to work, and can get a job to pay their bills. Men can continue to work, but don't know how to handle affairs at home. I totally agree that men should pay adequate child support, but I do not think they should pay alimony to the ex wife.

And before anyone gets pissy, I know there are plenty of men out there that are capable of taking care of themselves. It just seems in MY experience, men leaving marriage aren't equipped to take care of household duties they took for granted.

CDD, I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. I know not of what lead to this happening, but everything happens for a reason, so please move forward with your chin up. It will not be easy, but I promise that if you stay positive you will find what you are looking for out of a relationship, and out of life.

 

RE: you have no idea what your talking about!
i get the kids.. and i love them with all of my being but its hard.. you wanna be solely responsible for three growing minds..

You know what? I'd take that over coming home to an empty studio and knowing that my kids are somewhere else. And worried that her new shack-up isn't hurting them.
Seeing them on every alternate weekend, maybe. Hoping she doesn't decide to move cross country and cut my visitation to nil... but I will continue to get EVERY single bill they incur while she gets their company...

RE: i already spend every day all day with the kids but now i have to get a full time job and support them and me... car payment...rent... utilities...clothes... food...these are all things on my mind because there is no way to live.. not comfortable (imo) on what i might be getting from my husband for child support.. you don't even know my views on that.. i get 140 bucks a month for my oldest daughter from her father and i have never demanded more.. when he doesn't pay i don't bitch..

More fool you. You have kids to pay for, and $140 per month is NOTHIN.

RE: whats the point.. if he can't afford to help then its my job.. and as far as my current husband goes he works hard for his money and im not about to lay some sort of claim on it..

This, KC, is the exception to prove the rule.

 

Opps


J/k

I hope it all works out for you.. see a lawyer if you have to. You should be entitled to enough child support to see that you don't have to work full time.

Good luck with it all!

 

Damn! By the third one you'll probably start getting marks on your face from the amount of rice thrown at you.