My parents are thinking on a divorce. My mother no longer sleeps in the same bed as my father for a long time and she didnt tell me untill now. I hate so much that they are divorcing cause no matter all the fights I always thought they were perfect for each other! However, my mother's life has always been hard on her and I want her to have the best and be happy you know? Should I support my mom or should I be against???
its not your life...its hers...its her descision...its her that is in a loveless marriage...its all her...dont think you should even question your mom and dads descision...you try staying with someone that doesnt even want to sleep in the same bed....i would be divorcing after the second night night alone
Why do you feel that you should be for or against? They are adults, so are you. There is no need to take sides. Be supportive of whatever action is taken but don't try and influence others by being for or against their actions. They must do what makes them happy and they can always get back together if they miss each other too much. But they can never rewind the life they spent living a lie. What is important is that you love them both regardless and nobody is made a victim by the situation. You mention "all the fights" which doesn't sound very healthy, perhaps you don't really know them as well as you think you do and are using your imagination to make them perfect for each other? Talk with them, together or individually. It will be hard but it will help and move things along, then when the uncertainty is over you can all feel better and get on with your lives.
You can't ask us, we don't know them, we don't know you. Do you have to support it or be against it? No, either way you aren't going to change what going to happen, are you? They're adults they know what they want. You said they were fighting, that means that they're unhappy, and that's unhealthy to a marriage so maybe if they were divorced they would both be happy.
To ask if you "should support or not" makes it seem like it's a cause worth supporting. It's not. It's your parents relationship which can only be handled by them. Definitely don't be childish about it, but you need to at least respect their decision because it's their decision and you are an adult. Best wishes tho, divorce is never an easy thing to deal with.
Well yeah I know but I didn't know what to think about it you know. Fights are just normal in any couple though, specially because my mother has a very strong personality. What I am saying is that I think they can work it out but I'm not sure if I should just let them divorce. I am not an adult btw, I'm just a teenager and I also dont want to stop the divorce for my sake either.. I dont know I'm confused. Edit: i changed some gramatical changed due to my stupid cellphone he, sry some of you may misunderstood me
I think you may think you have more control over that decision than you really do. Divorce isn't a bad thing. There's no reason why two people who don't care for each other anymore should have to stay together. Couples that do stay together just become resentful and create a bad environment for children. Both of your parents being happy, regardless of whether or not it's with one another, is the most important thing.
No, a little bickering is normal, disagreeing is normal, fighting is not. It's not healthy for them or you. As far as letting them get divorced, I think you are setting yourself up for disaster if you think you have that much of a say in the matter. If you have been watching them fight, I would be willing to bet what you view as a "normal" relationship is a bit skewed from reality. Long-term couples should be able to convey their point of view without fighting. I guess what I'm trying to say is you should just try and accept what's happening and put faith in your parents ability to make the right decisions for your family. It's going to be hard for everybody, but just keep the lines of communication open with your folks so that you feel comfortable talking to them and they feel you are mature enough to handle what advice they offer. They love you!! Most importantly, remember that!
You may not be 18 but the sooner you accept that you are an adult and start acting like one, the better. There is no point at which you suddenly stop feeling like a teenager and become an adult, you've been an adult since you made the choice to go along with this life. I wish someone would have told me the same.
ok...yes...yes she can ASK us..thats what this place is..you post a question or statement and the rest of us put in our 50 cents...i think it is funny that you say she cant 'ask' us because we dont know her parents and then you give her an answer
Sorry guys, i had many gramatical errors because my phone changed everything Anyway, i know i dont have much of a saying of this but i know that they dont want to divorce because of me and my sister, which made me think if they would actually ask me if it was ok you know? And i also want to show that i care, that i dont want them to divorce and show my feelings. Dont want to be selfish either.... Btw for the people that talked about being an adult and whatever, guys what i meant is that i am not over 18, that i still live with my parents and that it will affect a lot my life. If i were like... 22 and had my own house stuff like that it would not actually affect me financially or on my daily basis... Got it? Hahaha
It doesn't really matter though that they don't want to upset you and your sister. Look at it this way, there's only two real options; They stay together for you and your sister's sake, they bicker all the time because they don't even want to be around one another. They could end up resenting you and your sister for the fact that they have to put up with a shitty living situation. Sure, your parents are living under the same roof, but they would not be together. So what's the point of sharing a house with two unhappy parents, just to say that they're still cohabitating? Scenerio number two; They separate, move into their own places, and become happier people. Sure, you'll see less of one or both of them, but when you do see them, they will (hopefully) be happy, and that's all that matters. Especially more than seeing them often, but when they're always miserable.
It's not really your call dear. Remember you are looking through rose colored glasses about their relationship. SHE is the one who is unhappy and needs to move on. So give her lots of hugs and be there for her.
Neither. It's their marriage, not yours. Divorcing each other doesn't mean that anyone's divorcing you. Don't get triangulated into their chaos. They are both your parents, and both entitled to your support...and they will both need it; even the most amicable of divorces still suuuuuck! It's a grief process; mourning the deaths of relationships, dreams, plans. Please don't maneuver yourself into a position where either one has to mourn the loss of you, too.
I believe it is your responsibility as a son to support both father and mother. It so happens that adults get divorced, you can't force them to be together. And why should they, if they are not happy together?
I think if your parents are. Independent emotionally, economically and obviously have no minor kids, they can divorce, but if they are depend on each other particularly your mom, you can talk with them and find some solution without divorcing.
