Hey everybody im new to the forum. Im not sure if this is the right place to ask this question but I hope somebody can help me out. Im a 20 year old male. I had sex for the first time a few months ago. I've been masturbating to porn at least once a day and sometimes multiple times a day since I was about 13 years old. At this point masturbating is just a bad habit, it really doesnt feel that good and im tired of doing it but even when I first started all those years ago I dont remember my orgasms being very intense. They only last a few seconds and its just not the mind blowing feeling I always hear about. So I thought maybe sex would feel better. All the guys I know are constantly talking about how great sex is and I figured that even though jacking off doesnt feel that good maybe theres something different about sex. So im in the bed room with my girl and we take off our clothes. I loved the way her body looked and felt but I didnt get an erection like I thought I would. I had to jack off a little bit to get hard and even then I wasnt rock hard and I had trouble staying hard very long (but its like that when I masturbate also). But anyways, we are standing there and I reach down to rub her pussy. As soon as I touch it I see the expression on her face change. I can tell it feels really good when I touch it. But when she touches my dick I dont get a good feeling, sure its nice to have a girls hands on my dick but theres no sensation. Next we moved to the bed. We spent some time kissing and cuddling in the nude which might have been my favorite part. I started to lick her breasts and again I see her expression change, and this time she also starts to moan softly. After that I started to rub her pussy and put my fingers inside it. At this point it looks like shes in ecstasy. She would close her eyes and she was breathing heavy and sometimes she would arch her back, she also did the same thing when I licked her pussy. When I asked her how it felt she could barely respond because she was in so much pleasure. After I licked and touched her for a little while i stopped and she started to jack me off and then she sucked my dick for a little bit. Again, it was nice having her hands on me and her mouth actually felt pretty good, but still no sensation and certainly not as much as she was feeling. After that I put my dick inside her. This was the moment I had been waiting so long for but to my disappointment it really didnt feel that good at all. She was really tight and she was definitely wet because I could feel it with my finger but her pussy didnt really feel that good on my dick. Not that it felt bad but almost as if I wasnt even inside. I really had to work to squeeze it in but once inside I could barely tell. We used a little bit of lube to help me slide in. As im putting it in its obviously feeling good for her. Next I start thrusting. At this point she starts losing control. She moans really loud and her nails dig into the bed sheet. The expression on her face is unlike anything iv ever seen. I thrust harder and harder and she keeps getting louder and louder. Then I feel my orgasm coming on. I get that good feeling for a few seconds, I cum, and its over. I can say this orgasm may have been slighly better than masturbating but not by much. Keep in mind, the whole time im thrusting shes feeling unimaginable pleasure but for me theres not much feeling at all. The only pleasure I do get comes in that short little time when I cum and it just isnt that intense. So I guess my question is, am I missing something? Is sex really supposed to be incredible unlimited pleasure and sensation for a woman and just seconds of sensation for a man? This has been bothering me constantly since we had sex. And that wasnt the only time we had sex. We did it together once a day for three days straight but each time it was the same. I guess I should say just for the record, I did love being close to her and feeling her body, especially her boobs, but im just really dissapointed by the expierience. Is there anything I can do to make my orgasms more intense and last longer? One more detail, when I was thrusting at first I was going pretty soft and I think I could have kept that up for a while. But after a little bit, maybe 20 or 30 seconds, I started thrusting harder. At this point it was only about 5 or 10 seconds till I cummed. Is there any way to make myself last longer? Any input to my questions and everything I said is greatly appreciated and im sorry my question is so long. If you have any questions for me please feel free to ask. Thank you so much.
Have you tried edging yet ? Its a great feeling when you can feel the urge to cum but you pause for a few minutes & start again & do this for several minutes & then instead of pausing, you go for it & have a much more intense orgasm.
Thanks for the response. Yes I've tried edging and it does make orgasms better. One time I even edged for two hours and that was probly the most intense orgasm iv ever had. The thing is even then it still only lasted a few seconds and while it was better than my normal jack off session it was still pretty underwhelming and nowhere near what I think my girl must have been feeling.
Im trying my hardest to stop, iv made it a few days so far and my goal is to stop permanently. But even if that does increase the pleasure I just dont see how anything that I feel could possibly come close to what women feel. Idk maybe im jealous of them and maybe even a little mad that they get it so good.
You can never trust anything guys say when it comes to anything comes off competitive, that might otherwise question their machismo, especially in groups, around other guys They dont need the man
Sounds to me like the age old story of porn giving unrealistic expectations regarding sex. The answer isn't to quit jacking it. It's to quit jacking it to porn. C/S, Rev J
Reverend Jc, thanks for your reply. I have to disagree slighly though. I think porn does have very negative effects but when it came to my expectations of sex porn was actually similar to what I experienced. The woman is the star, shes the one moaning and being loud, shes the one thats feeling amazing pleasure. And the guy is just there in the background, every now and then you might hear him moan just a little bit and he's feeling some pleasure, just not even close to the level of the woman.
Is that really the answer though? Him jacking it to porn is a lot cheaper than a few decades of child support payments. Porn gives unrealistic expectations ....more realistic expectations are that most people are boring and crap in bed and average looking
Ok have you considered your lady is putting on more of a "performance"than the actual pleasure you think she is feeling?So yes she probably (hopefully)is feeling pleasure,but might be thinking you would enjoy it more if she is more "verbal"?So in reality,you're both enjoying it,and to the same level,but she is just more verbal?I'm guessing (btw Im female)that some women are quieter than others,and others like to accentuate the feelings by verbally being OTT.Women can and do have orgasm's without screaming,yelling whatever! lol Maybe suggest that your partner have a quieter orgasm (firstly explain why!)and see how yours goes?
Women are always gonna have a more intense experience in the bedroom than us guys. For a start its waaaaaaaaaaaaaay easier for them to have multiple orgasms. I used to watch a lot of porn when I was younger and my first few sexual encounters where kinda similar to what you described. Once I dropped the porn and stopped masturbating so much I very quickly became much more sensitive and the whole experience was much more enjoyable. Also connecting with your partner enjoying the whole act as one thing, rather than just trying to focus on pleasing her or myself. Just having fun enjoying the moment the feelings come naturally and easily at this point. Also everyone is different it might just be that the way you are having sex is just not that great for you. Some people like the plain old missionary style, some people like to spoon and cuddle a lot, some people like to fuck the shit out of each other has hard as they can, bondage, soft, hard, slow, toys, etc etc there are so many different things you can do in the bedroom you are young and new to sex find what gets you going, experiment with as much as you can. Me and my partner are so comfortable with each other now and know what turns each other on so much we can both make each other cum so fast and make it intense. Drop the porn, and find out your own way to enjoy sex there are no set rules for anyone, it should be an organic fun free flowing experience.
how can anybody start a thread with the heading...dissapointed with sex? you know..I lived my life..with LOTS of sex.. with my wife,and anyone else after that...it's the most beautiful,energizing and vibrant thing there is in this whole fuckin complicated world... what or who?will we be without sex?i think i'll drop dead if i can't satisfy a woman anymore... i'm bit of a music you tube freak as well...i know this is totally misplaced in this topic..please accept my sincere apologies :bandana: but i bloody love the music of the Waterboys... totally off topic..but that's me anyway...folks know my ways on this forum...sorry Piaf :gorgeous:===volim te... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pU00jvfCUJk
first thing which already others mentioned stop jerking off . and stop watching porn give it a gap . and after some times you will start to enjoy really as your girl do . try to understand why its happening ? its happening because skin of your dick is use too of your hand skin which very hard and so its not that sensitive . your girl is also a new one and so she might not release that much which is normal . you both are very normal and new couples use to have this kind of feelings and its only because they are new. i have talk to number of virgins and many of them ask " we thought their will be great pleasure as we have listen but its like nothing and they were disappointed . so its normal . it takes some time when you start enjoying real sex from head to toe . so its all normal . with the time you both get use too of all this and then you will start to enjoy as every human do . remember nothing goes perfect by start in life and practice makes man perfect first day of exercise only give pain no muscles buildup same is the case of sex with the time you will start to enjoy more and more and so is abut the timings so feel relax and have fun
well said for someone from Karachi,dost...i've been in Pakistan..bit different to talk about sex matters over there,is it not? i've been on a train from Quetta to Multan and Lahore...ahah..great experience,my friend..they liked songs of Kishore Kumar.. to be honest...I love Pakistan...Qawalli songs==Nusrat Fatih Ali Khan?oh?ever been to Shalimar gardens on the road to Wagah?
thanks tiger yes its quite different when you talk abut sex here in Pakistan . but i think i have a little different mind and approach maybe its very common but not here i think Pakistan is one of the most beautiful and friendly country in the world if you ever visit again i will be your host and can guide you for the real places to visit
