Actually, ASSHOLES play mind games. There are plenty of cool people who belong to either sex. Assholes will always be, well, assholes. The problem is, some of them are attractive despite the fact we KNOW they are assholes; playing mind games, messing us around, withholding afection, praise, support. When we are young, maybe inexperienced, they can appear exciting, dangerous, etc etc and all that crap. Experience, however, is a good teacher, and we learn to sift them out, and attach to more stable, caring people.