I'm a young man, bisexual, 28 years old, and have been struggling to integrate my sexuality since my teen years. I came from a very troubled family, and suffered through depression until I found a therapy that cleared me of it. I began feeling sexual attraction towards men in my late teens, and went for it twice in my early twenties, after which I repressed and buried it. Now five years later, it has come back strong, and I'm more comfortable and confident in accepting this about myself. But I find myself pulled in the opposite direction at the same time: I've discovered in the last year or two that I am also powerfully dominant with women, sexually, so much so that I want to do light to moderate bondage (what the blogger DominantSoul calls sensual dominance). My sexual attraction to men in very much as a bottom. I feel like I have a complete whore inside of me, dying to suck and slurp and swallow and be fucked. I've indulged recently, and managed somewhat to enjoy it but I need to find the right man to really let it all out. At the same time, I have this powerfully dominant side and it feels like I'm being pulled apart in two directions. I don't know how to make sense of all of this. Has anyone been through anything similar?
Only the part that makes me want to give my deepest inner reaches in sweet & total surrender to the man just because he wants to fuck me; however, I love fucking ass myself, but not men. I want a woman's hot, man-hungry ass under me when I'm doing the fucking. And I am diametrically opposed to any kind of dominance.
